Life

The human body has a wonderful immune system that fights any foreign cell that enters the body. It fights any bacteria or virus that enters our body, which our bodies recognise as foreign elements. During COVID-19 times, many patients developed autoimmune disorders wherein the immune system becomes over-aggressive and starts attacking various of our own cells. The doctors had to administer many medicines that would suppress the immune system by administering steroids . This sense of "I" within human beings also works like an immunity system. It protects us, "me" and "mine", from the foreign elements that may be dangerous to the survival of "me" and "mine". Like the immune system, it also has many layers. The first layer is the skin, which prevents foreign elements from entering our body. Similarly, we ignore many people who may be dangerous. For example, we often tell children not to join a group of druggists and criminals because t...

 It's interesting to see how the concept of "I" and "mine" is so ingrained in our psyche. Do we love anybody? We say that we love our family members. Do we really? When we interact with the children, we find that many of them are quite stressed due to the fear of failing to meet their parents' expectations . Will any loving person have expectations? If parents expect their children to achieve something and become sad when they are unable to achieve it, where is the love? Aren't children just tools to get those trophies?  Wife feels that husband should get dressed well when they go to some party so that the "crowd" may appreciate her husband, and she feels good to have a "trophy husband". The husband invites guests to his home, and the wife cooks delicious food, and the guests appreciate it. Husband feels happy about having a "trophy wife". Children obey the dictates of their parents, and the parents praise everywhere that th...

There are only two types of people who are fully confident. First, young kids . Second, those who have not grown beyond their limited frame of life. Naturally, kids do not have much exposure to life. They are quite convinced that their father is a hero and that he can save them in all situations. They are quite sure of what is good and what is bad. As they get exposure, they grow and understand the limitations of their parents. Their good and bad also undergo significant changes. As we grow, we get to meet different types of people coming from so many different cultures , and our belief systems undergo significant changes. We understand that everything is relative.  What happens thereafter? It is quite uncomfortable for us to live with uncertainty . We just want to be certain. We don't know who created this universe. Since we are not comfortable with uncertainty, we start believing something. In the course of time, our mind forgets that it is our belief system and becomes so certai...

Why do people refuse to grow in a country where Krishna , Mahatma Gandhi , Sri Aurobindo , Buddha , J. Krishnamurti , Kabira , and so many great personalities were born? There is a discussion on one or the other personality in each home. We learn about these people through our textbooks, and yet we grow as self-centered human beings operating within a very limited frame of life. Why do we refuse to grow as human beings? Observation reveals that there are three reasons for not growing. First, "intoxication of pleasure", Second, "laziness to act", and Third, "loss of awareness of the larger picture of life". Most people get intoxicated for pleasure. In today's world, the means of pleasure and entertainment are available in abundance. We can watch YouTube videos and movies on the OTT platform almost all day long. Social media is at our fingertips. The departmental stores are full of products of many types. Zomato is ready to serve the food at our doo...

We are unconcerned about so many things around, just to have that peace of mind. At the same time, we feel responsible for a few things. We are unconcerned about the children who are struggling to find good education and guidance, but feel responsible for the ones we have given birth to. Slowly, that attitude of non-concern turns into insensitivity. Insensitivity leads to exploitative tendencies. These exploitative tendencies give birth to wars and revolutions. If we notice carefully, it will be the same set of people who feel excessively responsible towards a few, who are unconcerned about the "others". The reason is quite clear. It is all about our understanding of the self. "Who am I?". If "I" am quite convinced that "I" am limited to the body, I dwell in, "I" would be unconcerned about anybody else except the "give and take" relationships where there is an exchange of attention and efforts. If "I" am quite convin...

 To what extent are we responsible? We observe that the child is in a self-harming state and refuses to listen. To what extent is our responsibility as a parent? We see that a friend is refusing to grow and heading towards a life crisis. To what extent will we make an effort to help him understand? We see that people in the organization are harming the organization for their self-interest and refuse to listen. To what extent should we fight for the same? We see that people enter a self-suffering loop due to ignorance. They do not invest in their skill-building, and due to a lack of skills, both technical and emotional intelligence, they feel insecure and suffer almost the whole of their lives. To what extent are we responsible? "Responsibility" is a very outcome-oriented work. We feel responsible for a good life for the child, a crisis-free life for a friend, a systemic and efficient organization, and a secure and fearless society. When we feel responsible, our focus shifts t...

The same incident appears quite different as we grow and move on to a wider frame of life. In our struggling phase, we compete with our friends and classmates for the first position. "Winning" is quite tempting. We often hesitate to share our notes. I hope everybody remembers that scene from the movie 3 idiots where Rancho comes first in the examination and his friends feel sad. The following is the link to that scene: https://youtu.be/SFOFAfagwTU?si=L7eVtx6_lfbgLLCP Why are Raju and Farhan sad? Had "Silencer" come first, had they been equally sad? No, definitely not. They never have "Silencer" in their frame of competition. We compete with the people we live with. Our competition is not with the billionaires. They are out of our frame, and we set our targets within that narrow frame.  What happens when Raju meets with an accident? He grows to realize that life has a larger meaning. Once his frame of life grows, he no longer sets his target on "packag...

Today, we celebrate Friendship Day. I feel that friendship is at the core of every good relationship, and without friendship, any and every relationship is quite meaningless. When I think of my friends, what is the first thing that comes to my mind? Freedom of expression. When I talk to friends, I feel free to express my feelings. None is sitting in the seat of judgement, analysing whatever we say through the lenses of social validation. There is unfiltered listening and unfiltered response. Friends do not mince words while showing us their face. Friends do not censor their words while talking.  There is integrity in the relationship. This relation, unlike other relationships, is not imposed on us. We choose our friends. Unlike other relationships, there is a defined responsibility, and yet friendship requires absolute integrity. The moment there is the slightest mixture of expectations or inauthenticity, the beauty of the relationship is lost. I feel that a true friendship is alwa...

Yesterday, my daughter had a very passionate discussion with my friend, who had come home. She has an interest in hand knitting and was trying to prove that it can be a profitable venture. She was quite vocal and argued quite vehemently. In the evening, I just sat with her and discussed for some time. I asked her what she gained by proving that hand knitting is the best option for earning a livelihood. I asked her whether she had tried to know the perspective of a person who has seen business in his family and has 20 years of experience in the office, and has met almost all kinds of people. I questioned her whether, in a hurry to prove our point, we miss all the potential learning. She understood immediately.  We all know very little. Knowing little is not a problem. Rather, the problem is refusing to learn more. We refuse to learn more for two reasons. First, we are not willing to put in the hard work required to know. Second, we don't know the value of learning. I know many of my...

Life is full of diverse experiences. When we look through the window and see the growing trees and birds chirping sitting thereon, we feel connected to the birds and trees. Sometimes I feel that the trees must be the most evolved beings who just keep giving to the world without ever stopping, even for a moment. They survive even when we exploit them and deliberately damage them just because of their selfless drive to give. They have so much patience.  Wind blows, and the leaves of the tree start dancing and start making food again for feeding all the beings on this Earth. Some human beings will take credit for feeding human beings because he is distributing food through some NGO, some will take credit for producing the crop, some will take credit for cooking the food, and some will take credit for processing and packaging the food. The trees and plants are working non-stop without any credit. The leaves are dancing with the wind and making the food, as if they are singing the song ...

It's quite interesting to go a little deeper into our thoughts and intentions to understand "where are we coming from". When we have sympathy with a beggar and give him a note of ten rupees, where are we coming from? Do we feel "guilty" after seeing that beggar? We are having money while so many are dying of hunger, and just want to get rid of that guilt by paying that note to him? Or we have a deep desire for recognition as a "good human being," and we donate to get that recognition in the eyes of the people with us. Or are we deprived of the "respect" and when we give that ten-rupee note to the beggar, do we get that "reward" in the eyes of that beggar? If he refuses to take, and we can watch our reactions, that will reveal the truth about ourselves. Often, that does not happen in our lives, and we live under an illusion of being compassionate. Even if there are one or more such instances, we conveniently ignore them because knowi...

People like Kabira and Buddha will try to give till their last breath to society, while there are many billionaires who can do anything for money. We have people like Dadhichi who will give his bones to Indra for saving the world. On the other hand, there are people like Hitler who can kill millions of people just because of their madness. People like Bhagat Singh will give their lives for love and freedom, while on the other hand, some people will throw acids on the girls, they are not able to grab. Where does this grabbing mentality come from? From deep insecurities within? Yes. But why would these billionaires feel insecure? Why would Hitler feel insecure? Because they never contemplated the meaning of life, and made a winning formula to handle their insecurities. Winning formula in the form of money, power, or a relationship. However, as we are well aware, everything in this world is fleeting. The more people accumulate, the more they become aware that all their possessions are fra...

There was an advertisement, "Ye Dil Mange More," wherein the hero has an insatiable desire for the cold drink. Of course, the company wants to promote its product by superimposing the image of the hero on its product. But whenever I get to meet the entitled people who have almost everything in life and see their insatiable thirst for more and more, I do remember the advertisement. I often get surprised to see their lack of gratitude for what they have and their immense capacity to crib.  What happens when a king attacks the weaker kingdoms to expand the boundaries of his kingdom? He feels entitled to have more. He feels that it is his right to do so. Duryodhana did not want to give even five villages to the Pandavas. Ravana kidnapped Sita. Bali took away all the rights of Sugriva and threw him out of the kingdom. Kaikeyi not only snatched the crown from Rama but also threw him out. I feel that the worst thing that can happen to a human being is that they get something that th...

We all have unique experiences in life. The country in which we are born and brought up, the culture, society, parents, friends, relatives, and, on top of it all, our own life journey, make us what we are. Change any of these factors, and we will be different. Suppose a child is born in China rather than India, he will be different. If we were born into a different family, we would be quite different. Thus, our thought process and our personality are just a product of all these factors.  We identify so strongly with our personality and thought process that we don't take time to judge others without realizing that the mind that is sitting in the "seat of judgement" is also a product of its circumstances. I was born and brought up in a family of vegetarians and used to judge the people taking non-vegetarian food till I reached NADT, where I found people from all the regions and religions, and when I mingled with them, I realized that food habits are largely dependent upon r...

Man is a child of his destiny. Nothing is in our hands. We just live our destiny. We hear all these words and often get confused about whether everything is predetermined and why we work so hard. We should leave everything to fate, sit back, and relax. Yet people make choices almost every moment. Do we use our faith in fate as a tool to calm down our minds? There is no doubt that it has utility, but I am not sure whether it is supported by reality. If everything is destined, that means the entire theory of evolution is wrong. I have studied Astrology and carried out quite extensive research on almost all the division charts of at least a few hundred known people. My understanding is that the 9 planets in Astrology represent the 9 forces of nature. Astrological prediction is like weather prediction by the meteorological department. The horoscope of a person can tell how these 9 forces will be acting inside. Based on that, certain probabilities may be computed. For example, if the Lagna ...

Why is it so rare to be aware? Why is it so difficult to find somebody like Buddha, who was born in a palace and yet made a decision to leave the comforts of the palace? Comforts make us feel good. When it is scorching heat outside, the cool air of the AC makes us happy. Why would somebody leave the comfort of a lavish home and go to the forest where even food is not assured? The forest is full of dangerous animals and is quite unhygienic.  Probably this is because we have never examined the meaning of comforts. You make a sportsman sit in the AC for a week, and he will be almost mad to go back to the ground. Why? Does he dislike comfort? No, he also likes comfort, but he likes something more than that. He likes the sport he plays more than those comforts. That's why he becomes desperate after a few days to return to the field. All of us like toys when we are young. We fight with our friends over those toys. But as we grow, we lose interest in those toys.  When our awareness o...

What is the responsibility of parents towards their kids? What is the responsibility of a husband towards his wife? What is the responsibility of a wife towards her husband? We keep discussing these things in society. Most people glorify the concept of "responsibility towards family" to hide their inner hollowness. Did Buddha not carry out his responsibilities towards his family? Was Rama running away from his responsibility towards his wife when he decided to go to the forest to respect the words of his father? Did Rama not fulfil his responsibility towards Lava and Kusha?  I feel that the first and foremost responsibility of any and every human being is to understand the meaning of life. It is because if we do not understand the meaning of life, we will live life within a limited frame and will not be able to utilize the full potential of our body and mind. Not only this, but we will also end up passing on that faulty understanding to the children, and they will also live a...

We all keep passing through different moods. We feel excited when we get what we desire, miss someone when we are unable to share our thoughts with them, experience grief when we lose someone very close to us, and feel proud when someone close to us receives an award. Feelings are very powerful. They may motivate or demotivate us. Feelings are not permanent. They change quite fast. Even the gravest of moods may change when we share our feelings with a close friend who can understand our feelings. Then why don't we share? All of us have so many relatives. Children have their parents, siblings, and friends. Adults have their spouse, colleagues, and friends. Then where is the problem? Why don't we share? Why are there so many psychological diseases among adults as well as children?  Sharing has two prerequisites. First, a person should be willing to share. Second, the other person should be open to listening. Both of them have their own share of problems. All of us are literally o...

Many people refuse to grow beyond their frame. We meet them after several years, and they will utter a sentence, and you will understand where it comes from. First, this society makes us insecure, then we try to cope with that insecurity and make our winning formula to come out of insecurity. We work hard to develop an identity of a "successful" businessman, "topper" student, "powerful" bureaucrat, "caring" husband, "dedicated" wife, "faithful" employee, "pious" person, or an "intelligent" person. We enjoy these "masks" till we are comfortable. The more we hide behind these masks and the more we disconnect from our real face. In fact, when some day the mask is off, we can not recognise our own face. There would be a demonstration of "out of the world" love in almost every marriage. The same relationship turns into an ugly battlefield in the court of law shortly. Where has that "love...

What do awards and rewards mean to us as a society? Jesus was crucified by society. There were many attempts to defame Buddha. Krishna was called Ranchod and Chaliya. There was an allegation about the character of even Sita. Mira was forced to drink poison, and Socrates was killed by being forced to drink poison.  When society recognises "good work", I feel what is quite important to understand is whether that "good work" is playing to the gallery or actually doing something that will benefit society in the long run. For example, a child suffering from pus in his leg is unable to walk and is taken to the doctor by his parents. The child cries in anticipation of the pain due to the surgery by the doctor. He wants to run away from the place. The first doctor holds him tight and carries out the surgery, and the child cries and curses the doctor. The second doctor is very emotional. He cries with the child and sympathises with him. He does not operate on the leg and all...

Today, I realized something quite significant. We feel bad when we don't get justice. We are either exploited or we don't receive our due share of credit. However, we feel worse when we receive credit that others deserve equally or more. Something within us does not feel good. It feels guilty of not raising a voice.  All feelings have a center of origin. For example, the feeling of pride. One will have pride in something if he identifies with that strongly. For example, a mother will take pride in the success of her son because she values that parameter of success and also loves her son. If she does not value that parameter, she will not be proud. For example, son may become the biggest don of the city, and if mother is conscientious, she will not take pride in that achievement of her son. Similarly, even if her son gets elevated to the highest position, she will not take pride if she does not love her son. Again, it depends upon our awareness of the frame. For many, recognitio...

The sense of "I" is so central to our existence. We make choices and set targets based on what "I" like. What is this "I"? If I were born in China instead of India, would this "I" be the same? If I were born in a different family, would this "I" be the same? We don't have the right to choose our parents, or perhaps we do, but we are not aware of it. Someone enters the game of chess with an elephant, a horse, a camel, and a queen, while the other person enters the game with just one soldier. What choices do they have? Whatever the first player does, he will win the game, and whatever the second player does, he will lose the game. But, what if the purpose of life is not to win the game of chess, but rather to develop a new game? Then what we have at the beginning of the game does not matter? All these things are just meaningless. The greatest of the people in this world discovered that new game they wanted to play. We know the story o...

The human mind has a typical problem. The belief system is quite hardwired. The belief system takes over the sense of self, which is why it's quite difficult to challenge one's belief system, especially if it's not done at an early stage of life. When we discard our beliefs, we are uncertain about life. A vessel full of beliefs has no space to receive anything. But an empty vessel may receive anything. That's why that emptiness without awareness is quite dangerous. Awareness of what? In that domain, everything is unknown. We are not sure. We may easily mistake hallucination to be some real spiritual experience, and that's what happens to many people who move along the path. That's why the role of the Guru is quite emphasized. However, Gurus come with their own set of risks, and often Gurus manipulate more than provide the right guidance. Most popular Gurus have commercial interests, and that's why it is difficult to get the true guidance there. That's wh...

I watched the movie Sparsh. A wonderful movie with very appreciable acting skills of Nasiruddin Shah and Shabana Azmi. Nasiruddin Shah plays a blind man who is the principal of a blind school, and Shabana Azmi plays the role of a widow. She starts doing the volunteer work at the blind school, and in the process comes close to the principal. The principal develops an inferiority complex and breaks off engagement. The widow also has a complex that how she can justify her second engagement and therefore tries to give their relationship a color of helping the cause and serving society. There is a lot of food for thought in the movie. We can mirror our own justifications and complexes by watching the characters on the screen. One of the most prominent phenomena responsible for the spoiled relationships is an inferiority complex. An inferiority complex gets formed when we feel inferior to somebody and don't do anything about that. There are two major components of the inferiority complex...

Watched the movie "Don't Look Up" on Netflix. The storyline of the movie is quite interesting. Two scientists discover that a comet is going to hit the Earth, and the comet is big enough to make life extinct on Earth. When they go to meet the US President, initially she does not take the news seriously, and the two scientists approach the media, and they are trolled by people for being fussy about some possibility. Slowly, the Government realizes the seriousness of the event and, to take political mileage, sends a mission to destroy the asteroid. The mission is called off because one industrialist convinces the government to make huge gains out of the minerals available on the meteor. He develops a mission to send some rockets to the meteor and break it into pieces so that those pieces can reach the Earth, and those minerals may be exploited commercially. This is a story about the reaction of people in extreme circumstances. It reminds me of our tryst with death. Every da...