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The only choice: to grow by choice or by force

The same incident appears quite different as we grow and move on to a wider frame of life. In our struggling phase, we compete with our friends and classmates for the first position. "Winning" is quite tempting. We often hesitate to share our notes. I hope everybody remembers that scene from the movie 3 idiots where Rancho comes first in the examination and his friends feel sad. The following is the link to that scene:

https://youtu.be/SFOFAfagwTU?si=L7eVtx6_lfbgLLCP

Why are Raju and Farhan sad? Had "Silencer" come first, had they been equally sad? No, definitely not. They never have "Silencer" in their frame of competition. We compete with the people we live with. Our competition is not with the billionaires. They are out of our frame, and we set our targets within that narrow frame. 

What happens when Raju meets with an accident? He grows to realize that life has a larger meaning. Once his frame of life grows, he no longer sets his target on "package"; rather, he behaves authentically during his interview. 

https://youtu.be/JicAH6JuRq0?si=Z5T34Y6G0pPvkGrO

What changed from Raju V.1 to Raju V.2? Raju V.1 is full of fear. His parents are making him feel that they are doing a big obligation to him by paying fees for his studies. He feels responsible for paying off the debt. He feels responsible for getting his sister married. He feels overburdened, and that's why he is in a hurry to complete B. Tech and get a good package. That's why when "Virus" frightens him, he gets nervous. He is not able to see beyond that limited frame of life. He sets a target within that limited frame and grows anxious with every possibility of failure. The mind imagines all types of negative possibilities and gets caught in those images. 

Raju V.2 has experienced a near loss of his life. He is aware of the reality. He is no longer living in those mental images and stories of fear. He has experienced love and compassion during that crisis. His frame of life has grown wide, and he knows what is more valuable in life. Every time we grow, we drop the things that looked very attractive in that narrow frame. Once we grow up, we are no longer obsessed with toys. Tulsidas V.1 will be obsessed with his wife. Tulsidas V.2 has grown and values the Bhakti of Rama more than anything else. 

However, the reverse journey is also possible. Silencer never grows because he is so obsessed with his limited frame of life. He sets his life goal within that limited frame to win the race against Rancho, which Rancho does not even remember. His entire life will be limited to that frame. I find it strange to see people who will do anything for a position or money. The more they age, the more insecure they become. The character of "Silencer" looks very funny. However, if we introspect, we will soon realize that we are no better than he. We too make the meaning of our lives in such a narrow frame. To get some awards and rewards. The more we refuse to grow and the more finicky we become, till we face a crisis that will force us to move out of that limited frame. I feel that everybody on this Earth has come to grow. The only choice we have is to grow by choice or by force. 

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