Life

Responsibility and guilt are two emotions I have felt very deeply in my life. I think that these two emotions are quite closely linked. When we feel responsible towards someone and are unable to meet that responsibility, we feel guilty. If you feel responsible for marrying a friend you are committed to, and somehow, our parents do not agree, you feel guilty. When you feel responsible for developing good systems in an organisation but are unable to do so, you feel guilty. When you feel responsible for making someone happy and fail to do so, you feel guilty. If one feels responsible, not fulfilling that responsibility will naturally make one feel guilty. But why do we feel responsible? Do we feel responsible because we love? Do we feel responsible towards God because we love God? Most probably not. Love does not bring a sense of responsibility. On the contrary, it is a sense of separation that brings responsibility. The sense of separation breeds the sense of doership . When we have...

  Generation X was raised in a very authoritarian way. There was no way we could have questioned society's values. The rights and wrongs were so deeply embedded in our psyche. So much so that a child has to smoke cigarettes or take liquor, he would die of a heart attack if his parents saw him doing so. We will not allow the "good boy" or "good girl" image of ourselves to be questioned at any stage, no matter how much effort it takes. Children of our generation will keep even their affairs so secretive. Our generation had very little information available in the public domain, and that's why nobody was sure. We ran out of confidence. We were always unsure whether we knew.  Generation Z and Alpha are different. They are brought up in a very free environment. They are on your face. If they are selfish, they would have no hesitation in admitting it. They are very well-informed because they have access to the internet and social media. That's why they are ...

  Give Me Some Sunshine, Give Me Some Rain Give Me Another Chance, I Wanna Grow Up Once Again ये फ़िल्म "3 Idiots" के मशहूर गाने की कुछ लाइनें हैं। इस दुनिया में हर किसी की ज़रूरतें पूरी करने के लिए काफ़ी कुछ है, लेकिन कुछ लोगों के लालच के लिए यह काफ़ी नहीं है। कुछ लोग दुनिया के सारे संसाधनों पर कब्ज़ा कर लेते हैं और दूसरों का शोषण करते हैं। अंग्रेज़ों ने भी ठीक यही किया था, जब उन्होंने कई देशों को अपना उपनिवेश बनाया और उनके प्राकृतिक संसाधनों को पूरी तरह से खत्म कर दिया। जब लोग अपने अधिकारों के लिए लड़ने को उठ खड़े होते हैं, तो वे आज़ादी के उन सिपाहियों को आतंकवादी बताकर मार डालते हैं। यह बात पूरी दुनिया में, हर स्तर पर बहुत आम है। कुछ संगठन बहुत बड़े हो जाते हैं और पूरे उद्योग पर अपना एकाधिकार जमा लेते हैं, जिससे छोटे खिलाड़ियों का दम घुटने लगता है। अपना दबदबा बनाए रखने के लिए वे एकाधिकार वाली और गलत व्यापारिक तरीकों का सहारा लेते हैं। वे नीतियों को प्रभावित करते हैं और किसी न किसी तरह से सबके लिए समान अवसर (level playing field) को खत्म कर देते हैं, ताकि कोई नया उद्यमी या ब...

Give Me Some Sunshine, Give Me Some Rain Give Me Another Chance, I Wanna Grow Up Once Again These are the lines from the famous song of the movie " 3 Idiots ". There is enough for everybody's needs in this world, but not sufficient for the greed of even a few. A few people control all the world's resources and exploit others. That's what the British did when they colonised so many countries and depleted them of their natural resources. When the people rise to fight for their rights, they will treat the freedom fighters as terrorists and kill them.  This phenomenon is quite common across the world, at all levels. A few organisations grow large and monopolise the industry, suffocating small players. They resort to monopolistic and unfair trade practices to maintain their dominance. They influence policies and somehow undermine the level playing field , ensuring that a young entrepreneur cannot stand up. Even if someone dares to stand, they spread the news of greed...

We will find thousands of books that promote the idea that we should "live in the present moment" and not worry about the future. Millions of people attend the spiritual discourses where realised souls , as well as "not realised and pretending to be realised" souls, tell us not to worry or be anxious. Our parents also tell us not to worry. In fact, while we pass through a tough phase, our friends also advise us not to worry and to be happy.  It is such universal advice not to worry, be happy, and live in the present moment. Yet I am 100% sure that all of us worry about one thing or another. Why is worry so common? Because we want things to happen the way we want them to happen. When things do not happen the way we want, we become sad. When we realise that things will not happen the way we want them to, we worry. We worry about the result of the examination. What if I fail? What if I am not able to get the stream I want to study? What if parents do not agree to the m...

At what point in time would Gautama have decided to leave his home? He was perplexed by the questions of life and death, old age and disease, happiness and sorrow, while the entire kingdom, including his parents and wife, was busy seeking to maximise their pleasures and comforts. To the extent that his father would try all the possible methods to keep Gautam away from reality. Any person who gets attracted to the rays of the Sun will make an effort to come out of the well. The rest of the people will stay happily inside the well, considering that to be the whole of reality. Having seen the Sun and the sea, it is impossible for a person to stay inside the well. Even if he goes back inside the well, the limitations of the well and the images of the sea will haunt him. He will never remain happy inside the well, unlike the people who have never seen the sea. Naturally, people inside the well will conclude that it is painful to go out, look at such people, and will find another strong...

 हमारे अंदर कई तरह के जज़्बात होते हैं, जैसे डर, प्यार, भरोसा, दुख, शांति, चिड़चिड़ापन, निराशा, तनाव, वगैरह। हमारे जज़्बात मौसम की तरह बदलते रहते हैं। हमारी भावनाएँ बहुत पेचीदा होती हैं, और उनके पीछे छिपे असली जज़्बातों को पहचानना सच में मुश्किल होता है। जब कोई माता-पिता अपने बच्चे की पढ़ाई को लेकर परेशान होते हैं, तो उस परेशानी में कई अलग-अलग जज़्बात शामिल हो सकते हैं। यह समाज में अपनी इज़्ज़त खोने के डर से हो सकता है, "लोग क्या कहेंगे?", "इसके खर्चे कैसे चलेंगे?", "मेहता जी का लड़का तो IIT कर गया, हमारी औलाद तो निकम्मी निकली।" "मेरी ही परवरिश में कुछ कमी रह गई होगी।" या फिर इस बात का पछतावा कि मैं कुछ बेहतर कर सकता था, "काश मैंने थोड़ा और समय दिया होता।" यह सपनों के टूटने की वजह से ज़िंदगी के बेमानी लगने का एहसास भी हो सकता है, "औलाद ने हमें कहीं का नहीं छोड़ा, हमें तो उससे इतनी उम्मीदें थीं।" इन सभी जज़्बातों के पीछे अहंकार का खेल छिपा होता है। दो अहंकारों के बीच का रिश्ता "माता-पिता-बच्चा", "बच्चा-बच्चा...

Human beings are the sum total of their emotions. We have a wide variety of emotions such as fear, love, trust, anguish, serenity, irritation, frustration, stress, and so on. Our emotions keep changing like the weather. Our feelings are very complex, and it's actually difficult to distinguish the emotions underlying them. When a parent feels anxious about their child's education, that anxiety may encompass many different emotions. It may be due to the fear of social validation, "Log kya kahenge?" It may be due to fear regarding the survival of the child, "iske kharche kaise chalenge?" It may also be a feeling of losing the competition, "Mehta ji ka ladka to IIT kar gaya, hamari aulad nikkami nikli". It may also be a feeling of guilt, "meri hi parvarish me kush kami rahi hogi". Or the remorse that I could have done something better, "Kash maine kuch aur samay diya hota". It may also be a sense of meaninglessness due to the shatt...

 हमें अपने दुख का पूरा यकीन है। किसी ऐसे बच्चे से पूछिए जो सिविल सर्विसेज़ प्रीलिम्स में फेल हो गया हो। वह बहुत दुखी होगा। किसी ऐसे व्यापारी से पूछिए जिसका बिज़नेस फेल हो गया हो, और वह बहुत दुखी होगा। किसी ऐसे सरकारी कर्मचारी से पूछिए जिसका ट्रांसफर उसकी मर्ज़ी के खिलाफ़ हो गया हो, और वह भी दुखी होगा। किसी ऐसे माता-पिता से पूछिए जिसका बच्चा अपनी पसंद के कॉलेज में एडमिशन नहीं ले पाया, और वह भी दुखी होगा। हमने क्या खोया है? कोई सपना टूट गया? कोई अंदाज़ा गलत हो गया? हमने अंदाज़ा लगाया था कि या तो ज़िंदगी स्टेबल रहेगी या हमें वह मिलेगा जो हम चाहते थे। ऐसा हमारे हिसाब से नहीं हुआ, और हम दुखी हो गए। एक आसान सी सिचुएशन लेते हैं। हम किसी सोशल गैदरिंग में बढ़िया खाने की उम्मीद में जाते हैं। लेकिन, खाना हमारे टेस्ट का नहीं होता, और हम उसका पूरा मज़ा नहीं ले पाते। क्या होगा? क्या हम दुखी होंगे? यह हमारे लोकस पर निर्भर करेगा। अगर लोकस हमारे दोस्तों के साथ अच्छी बातचीत करता, तो ज़्यादा फ़र्क नहीं पड़ता। लेकिन, अगर लोकस अच्छा डिनर करता, तो हम निराश होते। लोकस से ही सारा फ़र्क पड़ता है। भगवान राम...

 We are so sure of our sorrow. Ask a child who has failed in the Civil Services Prelims . He would be very sad. Ask a businessman failing in business, and he will be very sad. Ask a government servant transferred against his wishes, and he will be sad too. Ask a parent whose child has not been able to get into the college of his choice, and he will be sad, too. What have we lost? A dream shattered? A projection went wrong? We projected that either life would be stable or we would get what we desired. It did not happen our way, and we became sad. Let's take a simple situation. We go to a social gathering expecting great food. However, the food is not to our taste, and we are unable to fully enjoy it. What will happen? Will we be sad? That will depend upon our locus. If the locus were to have a good discussion with our friends, it would not matter much. However, if the locus were to have a good dinner, we would be disappointed. Locus makes all the difference. Lord Ram is about to be...

Love, in this world, is used in a very generic sense, and that's why it's quite difficult to understand. Love often brings possession, while love should make us free. How do we feel when our best friend ignores us and gets interested in somebody else? We feel jealous. At times, we develop animosity against the beloved. It reminds me of the famous song picturised on Raj Kapoor , तुम अगर मुझको न चाहो तो कोई बात नहीं, तुम किसी और को चाहोगी तो मुश्किल होगी: https://youtu.be/nt4Zgk1ftEA?si=eu5HubBjBQBiX7ox Is it love? How does that love turn in to jealously? What happens when a son talks to his parents and lets them know that he is gay and would like to marry a boy? Parents get scandalised and try to convince the boy to mend his ways. When they try to convince the boy to marry a girl, is that out of love? When an industrialist accumulates a lot of wealth and passes it on to his children, and the children become addicted to the comforts, and waste their lives without utilising their...

We see so much exploitation and aggression all around. The weak are constantly exploited by the powerful. The powerful just keep shuffling the targets. But why do all the well-meaning people keep suffering? Why do the powerful become so strong and exploitative? Why is there no check on exploitation? It is because the weak don't want to leave the little comfort they have. That's what happened precisely when India was enslaved by the British East India Company . People will not fight for their freedom out of fear of losing whatever little they have.  The ego is like the captain of a ship carrying a load of containers. When the ship gets threatened by the storm in the midst of the ocean, he will not mind throwing away some of the containers. For him, it is more important to save the ship because the survival of the captain and the whole crew depends upon it. The ego also operates the same way. It will always try to protect itself, whatever the price. Thus, the ego has certain id...

The more we try to get out of the play of ego, the more we are trapped. Why? Because the one who tries is just an extension of the ego. The ego may divide itself into many different forms. It may get attached to our self-image, social image, family, community, position or material possessions. "I" may claim that I am not interested in money or powers, but "I" may be very possessive about the social image of being a saint. Similarly, "I" may claim that I am free from biases and beliefs and like to enquire and observe everything, but the fact of the matter may be that "I am highly attached to my self-image of being an aware person. I once met Mingyur Rinpoche in Bodhgaya and asked the same question. How do we test ourselves? He told me that the only yardstick is to watch our reactions. If we are attached to material possessions, we will react when we lose them. Similarly, if we are attached to our family, we will react when there is a crisis. If we ar...

On the one hand, it is the dream of almost every child in today's world to earn money and live a comfortable life, mostly abroad in a developed country with good infrastructure. In almost every recent discussion among the parents, there was an emphatic mention of the children doing their UG or PG at some college in the USA or Europe. Parents appear to feel a sense of great achievement and, at the same time, are curious about the next steps. Obviously, it's quite expensive, which is why it's not possible for everyone. Parents have to plan extensively and save a large amount of money to make these opportunities available to their children. That's the best in the known domain that parents can aim for their children. On the other hand, I wonder about the spacecraft that brings astronauts back from space. It is such a small, uncomfortable capsule, and the astronauts have to spend so much time in it. That's quite uncomfortable. Yet the astronauts willingly and enthusia...