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In the name of Family

I watched the movie Namkeen, starring Sanjeev Kumar, Sharmila Tagore, and Shabana Azmi. Suddenly, something struck my mind. Most of us live life in the name of family. To provide our children with the best education, to get them married, and to get them settled. Whenever a crisis hits the family, all members stay rock solid. Family members share happiness and sorrow. No other relationship compares well with family. Almost all parents have made their share of sacrifices for their families. On the other hand, a question is quite evident: "Is the purpose of human life limited to taking care of family and getting the children settled? Even if we assume it is, for a moment, it naturally implies that our children's purpose in life will also be restricted to getting their children settled. Do we really believe so? So we think our children's purpose in life is confined to raising their children and getting them married. What if they decide not to get married or not to have kids? ...

Do we resist our own growth?

When we look back, some of our childhood reactions seem so stupid. That crush on a friend at school and thinking about that crush for hours, that competition with friends to come first in the class, grief when another student comes first and we feel that he has been favoured by the teachers, the anxiety about scoring well in the examination, worry about the career, what will happen in future, will we be able to get a job, the apprehensions about a life partner, how will we live without friends, and so on. We had thousands of apprehensions and worries, and when we recall them, we just laugh at ourselves and our immaturity. What if our present worries and anxieties are also equally laughable? During childhood, all the worries appeared very real. But as we gained exposure, most of those became meaningless. Maybe, as we get more exposure, our present worries will also become meaningless. But how do we know? Health crises, office politics, job uncertainty, uncertainty about the future of th...

All we "Know" may just be a Story Cooked by our Brain

A newborn child, until around 6 months of age, cannot talk or walk. Then magic unfolds. The child learns to say maa or paa. He starts rolling, and soon starts crawling. Where does he get these skills? Do the parents train him to walk and talk? No. He picks them up on his own. In the language of neurology, his brain mirrors what he sees, and that's how his brain picks up the language, and he starts talking. These mirror neurons are quite magical, and they help us understand how to live in society. We learn so many responses naturally through these mirror neurons. We learn how to communicate, how to live in a society, how to take care of our bodies, how to behave in relationships and many more such things. Once we mirror something, that becomes part of "me". A child picks Hindi, for example, while being in Delhi, and then he goes to China. What will be his first reaction? He will feel that Chinese is a foreign language, but for him, when he was 6 months old, even Hindi was ...

An Aeroplane is made to Fly

Who am I? The sum total of my thought process and my body. Tall or short, fat or thin, intelligent or dumb, extrovert or introvert, helpful or not- all these attributes define us. We are the sum total of our physical and mental attributes. We keep getting exposed to so many different people and circumstances in life. We react to the situations based on our past conditioning. But how does this conditioning commence? A baby has no preference for food and is happy eating a banana or some Daliya. He hasn't made stories about the food yet. As the child grows, he attends birthday parties where everybody is mad about the cake. His brain puts a premium on cake, and as he attends more and more birthday parties, those mental stories keep getting strengthened. Our generation, people who did not make such stories and where birthdays used to be celebrated with "Gajar Ka Halwa" or some "Milkcake", have never been able to give so much premium to cake. As the child grows, he ...

Three Fundamental Emotions

All of us have three predominant emotions: fear, the pursuit of pleasure, and ambition. Fear is the strongest emotion. If we are afraid, we can't think of pleasure or ambition. If a doctor tells us that we have a terminal disease, or the lawyer tells us that the court is going to announce imprisonment very soon, the mind becomes full of fear. In those moments, thoughts of pleasure and ambition drop. There is a sort of competition between seeking pleasure and our ambition. Some choose pleasure, while some defer pleasure and follow their ambitions. They delay sensual gratification. Basically, these three fundamental emotions drive the whole of the world. All of us are motivated in different ways by these three fundamental emotions. Where is the place for love, creation, and exploration? When fear, the pursuit of pleasure, or ambition takes over, is there any scope for love? Yes, maybe. In pre-independence India, almost every Indian feared the cruelty of imperial rulers. Yet many of t...

What is love?

"I Love You" is one of the most frequently spoken sentences. I wonder, between "I" and "You", where love comes from. If "I" and "You" are like two solid rocks, love is like air. How will the two solid rocks float in the air? But the human mind is full of ingenuity. It will invent something or another to cover the rocks' solidity and make them look as if they are actually floating in the air. It will create different kinds of romantic stories and convince itself, and others, that rocks are floating in the air. It will write book after book to prove that rocks can float in the air. But the rocks also know the reality. Reality is felt almost every moment. Sometimes the sentences spoken by the beloved feel like arrows, when we feel hurt, when we feel jealous, when we feel let down, when we feel like controlling. Where are all these reactions coming from? Are they coming from love or from ego? Definitely ego. We have made thousands of st...

The Hidden Cost of the Pursuit of Pleasure

When we see something profound, what is the first thing that comes to mind? When we see somebody devoting his life to the well-being of the children on the street; when we see somebody giving away his life while saving an unknown person; when we see an astronaut walking on the Moon; when we see a scientist unravelling the secrets of the cosmos; when we see a movie like The Shawshank Redemption? What is the first reaction? Some feel "wow," and that's it. These people are great. They are different. Some feel "wow"; I wish I could have done that, too. That wish remains all through life. Some say What foolishness. Why did he die for an unknown person? What is there in walking on the Moon? What is there in wasting life looking for the stupid secrets of nature? Life is all about fun and pleasure. How and when does that profundity evoke action? Why don't we get motivated to carry out our own experiments with truth after reading the book by Mahatma Gandhi, "My ...

Are Winners and Losers equally trapped?

I wonder why the most intelligent, as well as the most ordinary, brains get trapped in the play of ego? Intelligent people outsmart those around them. Since childhood, they get special treatment. Somehow they want to retain that "special treatment" wherever they go. An intelligent student outsmarts his friends and classmates in school. He gets VIP treatment from the teachers and even his friends. When he enters college, he finds many more intelligent students like him. By this time, he has already become so attached to the self-image of being intelligent and a topper that he is not able to bear the pain of being second. He joins the race and, depending on his capacity, develops a winning formula. If he has the capacity to defeat everybody around him in the competition, he will do that. Otherwise, he either grudgingly accepts defeat or uses cheap methods like the "Silencer" of 3-Idiots. Competition doesn't stop there; it carries over to the organisation, family, ...

Toxic Comfort

Watched " The Last Man on Tower " today. A wonderful movie and equally beautiful acting by Manoj Bajpayee. The film shows human relationships in their most naked form. It shows how greed takes over years of relationships and how ambition turns people into demons. What has propaganda done to society? I don't think human societies have ever been founded on love. We have seen it since time immemorial. If that were the case, Kaikeyi would not have asked for 14 years of Vanvaas for Rama. Had it been so, the Kauravas would not have conspired to kill the Pandavas in Lakshagraha. When greed and ambitions take over, relationships become meaningless. I also don't know how an old person gathers the courage to stand alone. Probably he has nothing to lose. But what do we have to lose? The mental stories we have built around something or the other? The hollow materialism, or meaningless relationships, or the fake self-image? We hold them tightly to our chest. I somehow actually do...

Down the Memory Lane

I don't know why, but I was down memory lane today. While looking at the horoscopes, I tried to figure out why past memories feel so strong. In our daily lives, we operate on two different levels. First, we experience whatever happens in the present moment. We eat food and enjoy the taste through the taste buds. We wear clothes and enjoy the comfort through our skin. We use some perfume and enjoy the fragrance through the nose. We get burned and feel the burning sensation on our skin. We get a cut and feel the pain. Similarly, we have different psychological feelings. For example, we feel the comfort of being home. We feel safe in the presence of somebody while jittery in the presence of another person. All these experiences take place in real time. Second, we keep thinking about the past and the future. A student sees the DM of the city, how people fear him, how toll-tax people roll out a red carpet for the DM's vehicle, and how people envy his status. He creates a story about...

Who Observes in Meditation?

Once I presented a paper on Vipassana at Delhi University, and someone asked me, "Who is the observer?" "Who is doing Vipassana?" and "When the instructions are being given by Goenka ji, who is listening to them and doing what is to be done?" If it is the mind, then how can we go beyond our perceptions? The mind receives certain instructions. The instructions are that whatever is happening in the body and mind is temporary. When we receive these instructions constantly, won't the brain project some reality? Isn't that temporariness also a projection of the mind? An imagination and nothing beyond that. I recalled this incident while watching a YouTube video on the debate between Shankaracharya and Mandan Mishra. https://youtu.be/UdZCBWN0HCw?si=sNvn17_t5q8hSFZX While Mandan Mishra said karma is primary, Shankaracharya argued that karma is useless without awareness. Mandan Mishra argued that one may believe he knows when he actually knows nothing, and...

Are Strong Minds driven by Love?

I watched the movie Grah Pravesh, starring accomplished actors like Sharmila Tagore and Sanjeev Kumar, a few days ago. They have a son, and the husband goes to the office every day. It so happens that at the office he has to share his cabin with a lady, and he becomes attracted to her and wants to marry her. The first part of the movie focuses on his inner conflict. The second part focuses on his wife's reaction. It's very predictable. We all know how anybody will react in such a situation. The husband committed to the relationship, and that commitment was breached; therefore, the wife should be very upset. She should feel insecure as well. Feelings of hurt, jealousy and anger should be dominant. Anybody would expect all these reactions. I listened to Satipatthana Pravachan by Goenka ji some time back, and he says that even if we control our reactions by strengthening our mind, the unconscious mind carries deep-rooted samskaras that surface when we face any adverse situation...

Jugaad Mindset

When we drive on a road, where at any moment somebody may come from the opposite side in a tractor or bullock cart at very high speed; what safety precautions can one really take except singing Hanuman Chalisa? When we are living among friends and colleagues who can stab in our back, what safety precautions can somebody take? When someone is walking on the road, and a teenager or untrained driver hits them while driving at very high speed, what precautions can they take? Where trains and metros are full of snatchers, what safety precautions will somebody take? Living in such a spoiled system has a great cost on our mental health because we have to undergo stress almost the whole day. Often, worries do not leave us even at night. Even when we visit the hospital, we are not sure whether the tests the doctor prescribes are meant to maximise the hospital's profit or to diagnose the disease. You are not sure whether the medicines you buy at a high price are genuine. You are not sure whe...

Guddu Ki Mummy

From the mother in Aradhana to the mother in Mirzapur! What a deterioration in a mother's character. Just watch the lowest form first: https://youtu.be/Mr4osU0C_4w?si=yi2T5WKrlvp6Ki29 "Guddu ki Mummy". What is important to her? Her terror in society's eyes. Her dominance. Because when her husband was unable to get her what she wanted, every day, she experienced the pain. She cursed society. She cribbed. Now she has got a tool. Her son. He is a mindless man with great strength and aggression. He can threaten and kill people. Who carries a gun. Who is Bahubali. She can make him a tool and get whatever she wants. But why was she pained in the very first instance? Why did she not get attracted towards something profound like love, compassion, freedom or exploration? In contrast, we all remember Vandana in the movie Aradhana, played by Sharmila Tagore. She devoted her entire life to making her son a pilot. She even decided to go to jail for the well-being of his son. Absol...

Denial of Reality

People believed the Sun revolved around the Earth for thousands of years. The internet says that although the ancient Greek astronomer Aristarchus of Samos first proposed the idea in the 3rd century BCE, people continued to believe the Sun revolved around the Earth until Nicolaus Copernicus published the definitive mathematical model of the Sun-centred solar system in 1543. Just imagine, even 1800 years after Samos said that the Earth revolves around the Sun, humanity still believed until 1543 that the Sun revolves around the Earth. Isn't human stupidity amazing? In 1610, Galileo used the newly invented telescope to provide physical proof. He observed that Venus goes through phases (like our Moon), which is only possible if Venus orbits the Sun. He also found moons orbiting Jupiter, proving that not everything in the universe revolves around the Earth. History tells that Galileo's discoveries sparked a turbulent wave of amazement, scientific backlash, and religious condemnati...

दिल के ख़ुश रखने को 'ग़ालिब' ये ख़याल अच्छा है

We take the body for granted. I had a severe stomach infection and visited the doctor. The doctor tried to determine the cause of the disease by asking about the symptoms and medical history. They gave me some antibiotics to cure the disease. I wonder what a complicated machine this body is. It is constantly under attack, and the immune system is working 24*7. A slight lapse in the immune system, and we fall ill. Then we take antibiotics, and the bacteria that entered our body are attacked, and we get relieved of the infection. Meanwhile, different organs of the body continue to function. The heart keeps supplying blood to different parts of the body, and the lungs keep supplying oxygen. In the hospital, I was near the oncology department and saw some patients lying on a stretcher. Some were old, and some were young. All the organs of the body work in coordination. Somehow, once this coordination stops, even doctors can't do much. The body is such complicated machinery. There are t...

Mount Stupid

Children go to school to learn different subjects. Some pick up quickly, while some learn slowly. However, school has a place for everybody. There are extra classes for those who take more time to pick things up. There is no problem with that. But what if the students who have not picked up the subject become insecure? What if they try to project as if they know? As soon as the teacher asks a question, they raise their hands and start answering it incorrectly. What if they say it with a lot of conviction, under the belief that confidence is a measure of knowledge? Such students will work hard. First, they will damage the learning ecosystem because teachers will have to spend more and more time helping students unlearn the wrong things rather than focusing on the right ones. Second, they will do greater harm to themselves because their learning will never commence. This is a typical phenomenon where the confidence of knowing is disproportionately higher than the actual knowledge. In mos...

Happiness is not a "seeking"

What is the purpose of a spiritual journey? To seek peace? To seek happiness? Who is seeking peace and happiness? Obviously, somebody who is not at peace or happy. Who is that? But we were not seeking peace and happiness in our childhood. You ask any child what he wants, and I don't think that even a single child will seek happiness or peace. Rather, they will seek chocolate, friends, games, sweets, momos, or burgers. As we grow up, we seek money, power, kids, and so much more. As we grow older, we realise that none of them has given us peace or happiness, and then we seek them. But why don't we seek peace and happiness from the very beginning? If peace and happiness are so important to us, why don't we seek them since childhood? Probably because we have peace as well as happiness to begin with, and then, in the process of seeking other things, we probably lose awareness of that peace and happiness within. But why does that happen? Why does a child seek a chocolate? To expe...

My plot of land in the universe, with a diameter of 93 billion light-years

When a man feels proud of his position, the placement of his kids, family lineage, or intelligence, what happens to the awareness that this cosmos is infinite? The diameter of the observable universe is 93 billion light-years. That means it will take 93 billion light-years for light travelling at the speed of 3 lakh kilometres per second to travel across the universe. We can't even imagine the universe, let alone see or experience it in our lifetime. Yet, what we believe to be "I" is the centre of all our decisions. In today's world, the ability to make choices is one of the most important indicators of development. The choice to go to the university or college one likes, the choice to buy the vehicle and house one likes, the choice to earn money, the choice to choose a partner, the choice to go abroad, and so on. We go to malls to have the choice to buy a shirt. In stores like Lifestyles, we can choose from among many brands. Brands offer different packages too. Even...

Envy the Freedom of a street Dog?

Every day, while walking, I see many street dogs lying carelessly on the street. As if they are the kings of the street. The younger ones are even more carefree. Each vehicle on the street knows that they have to manoeuvre its way between these dogs. Their sense of freedom is really infectious. On the other hand, I see so many people going to the office every morning. Cars move bumper to bumper. The time on Google Maps keeps increasing as I'm on my way. Nobody knows where all this traffic is coming from. Everybody gets irritated, and yet everybody has to come first in the race. All of us appear to be slaves to development. Is it evolution from Dog to Man, or does Man have to aspire to become Dog to gain that freedom? Dog appears to be careless. But behind that carelessness lies extreme vigilance. The moment a dog smells any danger, he will run at speed and bark so loudly that even the strongest man on the street will panic. I hope each of us has witnessed that scene. Man is lost in...

Hanuman Ansh

Today. I watched the movie Hanuman Ansh. I found that the movie was made with a lot of love and devotion. I recall reading the book "Search for Secret India" written by Paul Brunton long ago. I believe around 2008. Paul Brunton came to India, met many yogis during his stay, and witnessed many miracles. Being a logical mind, he did not believe in them, but he had no choice. I have never visited Kainchi Dham, so I have no idea about Baba's magical powers. But the moot question is not whether he had magical powers. Rather, the moot question is what the centre of his life was. The centre of his life was truth, as shown in the movie, and he settled for nothing less than truth. Leaving home at the tender age of 12 in search of truth is not a joke. I look at our kids, who feel so privileged that they will not leave any stone unturned to force their demands on us. If a child has that strong determination at the age of 12 to know the truth and then he can meditate in all sorts of...

Morality founded in Workability

This morning, I was reading a book titled Truth by Hector Macdonald. The author discusses how there is no single version of truth. In one of the chapters, he discusses morality. He says that the definition of morality varies across cultures and times. While reading the book, something struck me. Different cultures have different moral standards. Details aside, what are we trying to achieve through these moral standards? First of all, morality is a group concept. Every organisation has its own definition of morality, and so does every nation, society, and community. Now, coming to the centre of group morality, first , survival is the most important criterion for the group. Every organisation, society, or nation would like to survive and protect its turf. It will do whatever is possible under the Sun to protect its turf and even to expand. That's why many nations would justify aggression on the lands of other countries, brutality in the name of war, and terrorism in the name of self...