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Shadows may give us a Heart Attack

I was reading the book "The Other Side of Happiness" by Brock Bastian, and I could relate to many of its ideas. First, pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin. We feel pleasure when we feel pain. For example, the author gives an example: after tiring treks for many days, when the trekkers sit in a Sulphur hot spring with not such a good quality of air, they feel blissful because they are absolutely tired. But if they keep sitting there the next day too, they will start to notice the foul smell of the Sulphur and the low quality of the beer they drink while sitting there. Another thing that the author mentions is that we have panic attacks because somehow we resist the experience. That's why the body is in fight-or-flight mode, and when we forcefully encounter such experiences, or even before encountering such experiences, we have a panic attack. I, too, used to experience the same when I accompanied my father to his clinic. Some children or adults with a very sm...

An Authentic Living

One thing that really surprises me is that somebody starts drinking quite late in life. I can understand that during our childhood or early adulthood, we are very instinctive and fall into the trap of seeking social validation. All our friends drink and have parties and sometimes even force us, and we fall into the trap. But I have seen a few of the colleagues who start drinking much later. That really surprises me. Having got into the job and having so many opportunities to do the hard work and grow intellectually, why do people choose such an easy way to get that kick? When we take liquor, we probably feel that sense of freedom and high. A feeling that we have untied many ropes tied around us. We feel free to express ourselves without inhibitions. But why do we tie the ropes around us in the very first instance? To please the people around us. To say the things that they like, that do not offend them. We do not dare to cross the limits which we have imposed on ourselves, and which we...

A Bird that Loves the Cage

The known world looks very attractive. All of us would have watched the movie "Taare Zameen Par". When that child is sent to the hostel, how alone he feels. Remember the following scene? https://youtu.be/Mdo_A1Bj67w?si=BWa0GyenkWN7u3Kb This feeling is so familiar. When something dear to us is taken away. A good friend whom we loved wholeheartedly disappears from our lives. When we have to say goodbye to a very close person with whom we spent our whole lives. When the project we had been working on day in and day out is closed for no reason. When somebody is sacked from the job one fine day without any reason. When a doctor tells a person that he has been diagnosed with a terminal disease, and he has limited time to live. Because we don't know what lies on the other side. Ishaan does not know what lies ahead in the hostel. He would not know that there would be a teacher like Nikumbh sir who would take such a keen interest in him and change the perspective of the whole wor...

The Root Cause of Fear

Fear is a very strange emotion. Passing through the same situation, two people may have very different degrees of fear. I recall that in my childhood, I was quite afraid to perform on stage, and I do not remember a single instance of doing so. While there were a few in our school who were always keen to go on stage. Most of us are afraid of death, and the diagnosis of a disease like cancer would feel like a death knell to most of us. Some are very afraid of sending the kids away from home, while for others, it is quite normal. What is the genesis of fear, and why do so many people have such different reactions? We are afraid of losing something we have not only possessed but also identified with. The stronger the identification, the greater the fear. A child does not mind playing in the Sun. He is happy playing with his friends throughout the day. Then he grows up and gets a job at an MNC, where he has to be in an AC environment all day long. He also gets an AC installed in his ho...

Awareness of the Source

A potter makes many different things from the same clay, each with very different uses. While we use a matka to cool the water, we use a clay pan to cook food. It is the same clay used to make both of them, but they have very different functions. Plastic granules are used to make so many different things. We can make plastic chairs from those granules, as well as the water tank at the top of the building. We get so many different pictures on the TV screen. They are nothing but tiny dots on the screen that are illuminated based on the program being broadcast. Similarly, we have so many different thoughts all throughout the day. These thoughts are nothing but the movement of electrons in different parts of the brain. Different people feel happy or sad with different things. It all depends on how we were born and brought up, and how we have perceived different experiences. The same situation may be perceived as a challenge by one and as danger by the other, as good by one and as bad ...

Choice of the Intelligence

Remember watching the movie Jurassic Park in the cinema hall. It made us jump out of our seats. Each of us remembers watching movies full of thrills. The hero takes unimaginable risks, finds highly innovative solutions, and emerges from danger with absolute presence of mind. We love to watch movies like Sultan, where the hero, with passion and perseverance, champions a game that is very difficult and dangerous to play. What is so great about these movies? Why do we want to watch them? We love daredevils on the screen, but when it comes to our own lives, then? We play it safe. We make decisions that invite the least risk. As if we are divided into two parts. The first one wants to explore and take risks, like the hero Sultan, and the Second one wants to stay away from risk. Often, the second part overpowers the first one in real life, and probably the first one gets frustrated due to these compromises, and that's why it goes to the cinema halls again and again to watch these movies...

A Smaller and a Greater Challenge

Gaining awareness at the level of thoughts is not easy. Ask a greedy person why he is so mad about money, and he will have hundreds of logical reasons to explain his conviction. Similarly, ask a person passing through the phase of depression because of the fear of an examination, and he will have hundreds of reasons to explain. Ask a person who is just playing in the hands of his boss as a tool just to get the validation of being a good employee, a positive appraisal, or a promotion, and he will also be equally convinced. Ask a parent who is worried about sending his child away from home, and he will have hundreds of reasons to justify his worry. Ask a person who feels like a victim in a relationship, and he will again have hundreds of reasons to explain why he feels like a victim. Whatever we want to believe in, our brain can cook thousands of stories around that. One may keep the windows open, look out at the trees, listen to the birds chirping, look at the sky and the sun, and watch...

कभी किसी को मुकम्मल जहाँ नहीं मिलता

While listening to this video, I was just wondering who Mukammal Jahan is: https://youtu.be/VHPuZhMIb8A?si=n1shaq8770YEmwa8 The poet says it is not that God lacks love in His world, but that you don't find it where you expect it. It is probably one of the most difficult emotions to handle. When you love somebody and can not be united. When somebody really loves, and loves to the extent that he can let go of his ego, then separation feels like going back to the hostel room after long vacations with friends. I don't know why all of us have such different seekings and why everybody is so convinced that what he is seeking will make him happy. Probably, all of us are seeking nothing but love. But love is not like buying a plot of land, making a home on it, and living thereon. Love is not possession; rather, love is like flying together in the sky where none has a well-defined boundary, and where the whole of the sky belongs to everybody. The sky is so vast that there is no need for...

Searching for the best ICU bed

Sometimes I wonder why there have been no major breakthroughs in science recently. None of the scientists has invented something fundamental like gravity by Newton or General and special relativity by Einstein. Social media is flooded with reels of food, dhabas, travelling, and entertainment. Why are young minds, which are so sharp to do all these things, not inclined towards exploration of nature, the world of science and literature? I feel that our biggest enemy is our comfort. I have many childhood friends who settled for something far lower than their capacity because they had a comfortable option. Joining the family business was easier than competing for admission to engineering or management colleges. So they chose the easy option. Some took a job, became comfortable there, and never tried anything else after that. Some became homemakers and got settled in their families. Some became comfortable in their family life and ignored everything else. While we were young, we had a ...

Love and Hatred

Watched "Main Vaapas Aonga" movie on Netflix. A wonderful movie. The movie is all about love. Love, which is timeless and does not fade by even one per cent, even while the hero of the movie is on his deathbed. This movie is also about hatred in the minds of people at the time of partition. How millions of people were killed and how so many people were tortured during that phase. Probably all of us have certain shades of both love and hatred within us. In a few of us, love is so strong that it trespasses the boundaries of time, and our hearts carry love despite the worst of circumstances. While in some of us, the hatred is so strong that when the situation turns bad, we show our most inhuman face and even brutally kill others. Love has its source in awareness of reality. Reality that is one and not divided. That's why love does not recognise any boundaries between nations or religions. That's why love is so complete and fulfilling. That's why all the achievements ...

What is love

The whole world is mad about a magical world of "love". Hollywood to Bollywood, thousands of movies have been made with the theme of love. "I love you" would be the most spoken three words in this world. I recall my school and college days. So many of us were deeply in "love" with a friend; we do not even know their whereabouts today. We keep falling in love time and again with people, things, and activities. People whom we love spending time with, things we like to have, and activities we like to do. But where is love? Probably the right question is: "What is love?" Probably one of the most difficult questions to answer. Or maybe the easiest. Because it can't be answered; it can only be felt. A fundamental question is: can "I" ever love "you"? If "I" and "you" are different, how can there be love? I often pondered this question in my childhood. Then weird ideas would come to my mind. Suppose there is a...

A Photon Suffering from Pain

A photon is full of infinite possibilities. It may become a part of the food produced by the chlorophyll present in the cells of a plant. It may be absorbed by the solar panel on a home's roof, illuminating the home at night. It may be absorbed by the ocean, helping a water molecule rise to the ocean's surface and form a cloud. It may also reach the Moon's surface, helping illuminate the night of Purnima and inspiring poets to compose poems praising the Moon's beauty. It may also come out of the atoms in abundance when an atomic bomb is thrown on a city and may devastate the whole of the city. Would the photon ever feel pain or pleasure in any of the situations? No. But the same consciousness, when it takes the form of an atom or molecule? Probably there is no pain or pleasure even then. Integration and disintegration occur either randomly or cyclically. Stardust keeps forming new stars, and the old stars disintegrate. We see it in objects rusting, which means that iron...

Mera Mujh Me Kuch Nahi

Concerned about his child's college admission, a man in his 40s sits anxiously when a monk sits near him and asks why he's worried. The man tells the monk that he is worried about whether his child will get admission to the college. The monk smiles and asks him whether that college admission will make him happy. The adult says emphatically, "Yes". The monk asks, "Will your child also be happy if he gets admission to the desired college?" The man says, "Of course, yes. " The monk asks again, "But you too got admission to the college you wished for; then why are you worried?" Probably none of us has an answer to this question. But, at the same time, we will simply say that the monk will not understand because he does not have a family. He does not know what responsibility means. Somebody will say that the monk does not understand fear and insecurity because he lives in a monastery, and he will not understand that the child will be fearful ...

A Electron is a Wave......

A broken relationship that was very close to our heart, the loss of a near and dear, a severe financial crisis, a divorce proceeding, prolonged litigation, a long spell of disease with many rounds of painful treatment in a depressing hospital, or loss of social reputation- all these things and many more make us feel that life is worthless. We want to leave the world. It appears as if we have attained Vairagya from Samsara. We don't mind calling a spade a spade. An unusual energy, out-of-the-world courage and rebellion become an integral part of our personality. And then we meet somebody who feels like a breath of fresh air and sweet music in our ears, and then we set another target; we again want to become somebody; we again want to possess something, and life becomes full of meaning. Till we realise the inner hollowness of the same. That's why the feeling of Vairagya in a state of low is generally very deceptive. Generally, it lasts only until we get the next target. There are...

Waiting for a Thousand Years

While talking to relatives, we often feel that the love and affection in the relations are quite superficial, but we decide to continue. While going to offices, we often feel that the performance appraisal is not fair and that honest and competent people are not being given their due share, but we decide to continue. While living in society, we feel that many beliefs and dos and don'ts do not have their genesis in scientific thought, but we decide to continue. Why? Any intelligent person will be able to notice. Then we do so; many intelligent people continue to live with the systems that lack integrity. Why would we not say "no" to the relationships that lack integrity? Because we are insecure and feel that some of these relationships may be helpful in moments of crisis. We just want to keep them to be safe and, in the process, keep getting irritated due to a vulgar demonstration of love while there is none beneath the surface. Why would we not say "no" to offic...

500 Miles

I was listening to the famous song often known as "500 Miles" or the "Railroaders' Lament," the classic folk song written by Hedy West in 1961 (and famously recorded by Peter, Paul and Mary). It is a melancholic reflection on loneliness, deep homesickness, and the pride or shame of a traveller who left home and failed to strike it rich. The "hundred miles" in the recurring line emphasises the vast, echoing emotional and physical distance separating the singer from everything they know and love. https://youtu.be/7oGwOiQsjso?si=j40rPl85jqbZAG3I I really don't know which home we're talking about. The home from which all of us have come to this Earth. Which we don't even remember. The more miles we move away from that home, the more we are full of deep homesickness, and at the same time filled with pride or shame. Pride of being an "individual" who has his own unique existence, an identity, which we are proud of. I am a CA, an officer...

Pursuit of Happiness

It's strange to see how different human beings make so many different meanings of life, and how everybody is so convinced of their own. As children, we try to fathom the depth of reality and find ourselves grossly incapable. We find none around us who can answer the most fundamental questions: "Where have we come from?", "What is the meaning of death?", "What happens after death?", "What is happiness?", "Why is there so much inequality in this world?", "Why are there so many fights among nations?", "Why am I born in this family?" The young minds have so many questions. I believe that each one of us would have had all these questions. But where did they disappear? Why are we so convinced about our own understanding of the meaning of life? Probably, that's a defence mechanism of the human mind. Each one of us has two options. First, to keep seeking the meaning of reality, which is a difficult and uncertain opti...

हर्ष और विषाद के बीच का जीवन

हम अपने देश के फाइनल मैच जीतने, अपने बच्चे के विवाह समारोह, लंबे संघर्ष के बाद फिल्म के नायक द्वारा अपनी प्रेमिका से शादी करने, या पसलियां टूटने के बाद भी सुल्तान द्वारा वह आखिरी मैच जीतने की खबर से वास्तव में भावनात्मक रूप से अत्यधिक ओतप्रोत हो जाते हैं। हमारा दिल खुशी से भर जाता है। वहीं, किसी बहुत करीबी की मृत्यु की खबर, या परीक्षा में हमारे बच्चे की असफलता, फिल्म में बाहुबली की बेरहमी से हत्या, किसी महत्वपूर्ण मैच में मिल्खा सिंह की हार, यह सब हमें रुला देते हैं। क्यों? क्योंकि हम अपने लोगों के लिए "खुशी" चाहते हैं, और जब वे एक लंबे संघर्ष के बाद जीतते हैं, विशेष रूप से तब जब हमें इसकी उम्मीद नहीं थी, तो हम सकारात्मक भावनाओं के एक शक्तिशाली विस्फोट को महसूस करते हैं। क्या हम वैसी ही भावनाएं महसूस करते हैं जब कोई अमेरिकी खिलाड़ी वर्षों की कड़ी मेहनत के बाद ओलंपिक में स्वर्ण पदक जीतता है? क्या हमें वैसा ही महसूस होता है जब पड़ोस के बच्चे को बहुत कड़ी मेहनत के बाद विश्वविद्यालय में स्वर्ण पदक मिलता है? क्या हमें वैसी ही अनुभूति होती है जब किसी दूर के रिश्तेदार के बेटे की मृत...

Living between Euphoria and Misery

We get really emotionally overcharged by news of our country winning a match in the finals, our child's wedding ceremony, the hero in the movie marrying his girlfriend after a long struggle, or Sultan winning that final match even after breaking ribs. Our hearts fill with joy. The news about the death of somebody very close to us, or the failure of our child in the examination, the brutal killing of Bahubali in the movie, the loss of Milkha Singh in a crucial match, all make us cry. Why? Because we want "happiness" for our own people, and when they win after a long struggle, especially when we were not expecting that to happen, we feel a powerful burst of positive emotions. Do we feel the same emotions when some American player wins a gold medal in the Olympics after years of hard work? Do we feel the same when a neighbour's child gets a gold medal at the university after a lot of hard work? Do we get the same emotion when there is the death of a distant relative'...

Cafe Musafir

I watched the Netflix web series Cafe Musafir. First of all, let me congratulate the entire team on making a meaningful series that resonates with contemporary reality. Until the last decade, the social narrative was that the purpose of our lives was to study well, marry a person, and then settle down. For the first time in this decade, especially after COVID-19, people have started taking their passion seriously. I think the web series seeks to examine certain contemporary issues in depth. First, what is the meaning of love? Is love about seeking something? If a boy feels that he loves a girl and he would be happy having a home and kids with that girl, is that love? What if the girl has ambition to grow in her career? Will this sort of love not be restrictive to the girl's ambitions? Just because society has approved of this sort of relationship, can we call it love? I feel that it is difficult to love till we are complete within and we are not seeking in the outer world. Then onl...

Enjoying the Slide

Coming down the hill is always easier than climbing up the mountain. It's always easy to fall into the temptation of things that appear to be very pleasant. That's why the world is full of people who are running after temptations. Some claim to have got rid of temptations, but actually, they fall silently into bigger temptations. Some give up the temptation of comfort to lead a socially approved life full of ambitions, while some of us get more tempted towards the self-image of being a good man or having some blissful experience. The ground is very slippery, and a single careless step may make us fall into the valley. But why would the almighty make the world like that? Doesn't He want all of us to live a life full of possibilities where everybody is free of these temptations and can explore to the fullest? But why would God be so cruel as to make the ground so slippery so that one careless step may lead us to endless suffering? Maybe nothing like that. Krishna always want...

The Magic Land

Nobody wants painful experiences. Pain in the body, or any part of the body. A headache makes our existence painful, and we take a painkiller quickly to get rid of the pain. The same is the situation with psychological pain. Being ditched by a girlfriend or boyfriend, insulted at a social gathering, anxious about the future, concerned about self-image, apprehensive about a loss, and so many more things make us quite upset in this world. The more we try to get out of these feelings, the more we get trapped. We find ourselves helpless to get out of the psychological pain. It's not possible to get out of the psychological pain, unlike the physical pain, because the root of this pain lies somewhere else. We have enjoyed hours and hours of pleasure from the opposite. When we had a good relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, we took pleasure in each of those moments, and now our brain is afraid that it will be deprived of that pleasure forever. When people praised us during social ...