Life

Unconscious battles are very deceptive. Even Lakshmana, who symbolises knowledge and wisdom, is bound by the nagpasha that Meghnadha uses. We love our children and, of course, wish them the best. But unless we can see from a little distance, do we really know what is best for them? When the child cries for ice cream, and we know it may not be good for him, we refuse, and he cries more; we somehow fall into the trap and succumb to pressure. We give in to many such situations: when the child wants a bike or a mobile, or when we use our resources to get him the best college admission through the donation route. We worry about the children if we don't know their whereabouts for even a day. On the contrary, sometimes we take a tough stand. When the child meets a girl he likes and feels he could spend his entire life with, we suddenly resent the match. It is not from the same case. It is not from the same religion. What will society say? The match will not last. Or when the child develop...

A highway where cars, trucks, and buses move very smoothly. Every vehicle follows the rules, maintains a safe distance, and keeps a steady speed. A hotel where every decorative item, chair, piece of furniture, and flower is very nicely arranged. A garden where the gardener has kept the plants in excellent shape. A relationship where both partners know their boundaries well, respect each other, and give each other space. A society where systems are in place, people follow the norms, and no one backstabs anyone else. A place where the weather is neither too hot nor too cold, and where walking under the open sky is fun. All the great systems aim at harmony. They are based on the concept of "workability". Live and let life. Respect others and get respected. Respect boundaries in relationships. All the vehicles on the highway are individual units, and yet they maintain harmony on the road. Harmony has its own attraction and utility. Who would like to drive on a highway full of tra...

Modern life is full of stress. You talk to anybody, whether working or not, whether in a job or in business, whether living in a small city or a metro, whether married or single; everybody is equally stressed. Why? Because most of us want to "become" somebody. A student wants to become a graduate; a civil services aspirant wants to become an officer; an unmarried man wants to become a husband; a poor person wants to become rich; a powerless person wants to become powerful; a stupid person wants to become intelligent; and an unrealised person wants to become enlightened. Seeking makes us work. We work hard and get exhausted. So what's the problem? That's the way the world works. That's why society appreciates achievers. That's why different awards are announced every year. We motivate our children to work hard so they can achieve different milestones. Yes, of course. But do we notice something very obvious? The moment we set a target to achieve a certain outcom...

This morning I was just listening to this Bhajan: मेरा आपकी कृपा से सब काम हो रहा है, करते हो तुम कन्हैया, मेरा नाम हो रहा है। I wondered whose work is getting done. Is it truly surrender to the divine will, or just using the divine to get whatever the ego wants? What if things don't happen the way we want them to? What if we get a disease, or there is the death of a close family member, or we get trouble in our career, or we face a crisis in a relationship? Will we still say, "With your blessings, my work is happening"? The moment I think about "my work", the ego is the centre of our existence. It's very difficult to understand the game ego plays with us. It keeps playing in many different forms, and spirituality and surrender are among its ugliest plays. When somebody suffers from blood cancer, the problem is that whenever doctors transfuse blood into their body, the healthy blood also turns into the same cancerous blood. Whatever volume of healthy blood y...

We have a very strong sense of responsibility. A father may not like his job, yet he keeps doing it because he has taken responsibility for earning money for his family. A mother may feel exploited and may even be physically tortured, yet she will stay back because she has assumed the responsibility of taking care of the children. Where does this sense of responsibility come from? Does the Sun have a responsibility to help plants make food or to dry our clothes? Do the clouds have responsibility to bring water to the pond of our village? Do the trees have a responsibility to provide us with oxygen? Where does this sense of responsibility come from? Why do we feel so responsible for our family, yet easily turn our faces away from responsibility toward society? If we can save a crore to ensure quality education for our kids, why don't we help the kids on the street who do not even have enough to feed themselves? Why is our responsibility towards our kids so strong? Where does that re...

Even after morning prayers every day, reading religious scriptures, singing bhajans, debating for hours, watching spiritual content for years, and having joined a spiritual cult for decades, we remain full of fears, hatred, jealousy, and ambitions. Both brothers who drag each other to the police station and the courtroom often follow the same spiritual cult. Husband and wife who want to demean each other and fight like dogs often pray in the same temple and to the same God. Often, two different groups fight to control religious places because they're a source of easy money. Priests fight for positions. Why do we play such games in the name of spirituality? Probably because the ego does not want to let go of even spirituality and uses it as a tool. Often, we encounter people in spiritual discussions for whom proving their point matters far more than discovering the truth, and they will go to any lengths to prove it, even bullying other participants. Does that help us in any way? But...

Such a beautiful morning. Birds are singing so many songs that strike chords in the human soul. Leaves are waving their hands as if inviting us to embrace them. A mild smell of winter is in the air. The human mind is full of so many thoughts. Thoughts about different fears and ambitions. Thoughts about setting up the kids, buying a property, planning a vacation, or changing jobs. Thoughts about becoming and achieving. Thoughts about the past. Guilt, shame, grudges, feeling victimised, and so on. These thoughts keep pulling us into the past and future and never let us stay in the present moment to enjoy the beautiful nature just outside the window. The stories our brains create are very gross. While reality is very subtle. We create stories about the good and the bad, right and wrong, pain and pleasure. "Gupta is to bekaar aadmi hain, apne bete ki shadi me bhi nahi aaye." Do we ever contemplate how we define a good person and a bad person? Somebody who is useful to us is a goo...

Watched the movie Drishyam. The mother of a boy who was murdered wants to take revenge. The father of a girl who was sexually abused wants to protect his wife, who killed the boy in self-defence. The rest of the story follows the manipulation of evidence and the planting of a story everyone believes to be true. After watching the movie, I wondered whether it is possible to distinguish between story and reality. The advocate for the accused, as well as the judge, believes the accused’s story of innocence. All of us believe in numerous stories. Human beings are the most evolved beings on this Earth. We are the only living beings in this entire cosmos. We are making great developments by building cities. When we fall ill, we feel safe in doctors’ hands. We believe in the story of family, love, our own people, and our own community. Almost all of us have believed the story of religion for centuries. The story about the heavens and souls. What if all these are just stories believed by the m...

It's strange to see entitled people. There is a story about a donkey that gets painted like a tiger, and the other animals start treating him like the king of the forest. But as soon as he opens his mouth, everyone learns the truth, and he becomes a laughingstock. A donkey's entitlement can't last long, but we've all noticed entitled people around us who keep enjoying it for a long time. An entitled child born into a rich family, an employee who reaches a position through favouritism, a second-generation politician who got everything on a platter, or a pampered spouse doing nothing in life.  There may be three scenarios. First, a person gets a position or stature below his performance; second, above his performance; and third, on par. Similar scenarios may apply to work quality and the person's capacity. In the first scenario, a person gets work far below his capacity; in the second, far above his capacity; and in the third, on par.   Low stature ...

Does spirituality mean that when a tiger is chasing us, we won't try to save our lives? Does it mean that if someone is bullying us, we won't push back? Does it mean that when some bacteria attacks us, we will not take antibiotics? Does it mean being in a vegetative state? I don't think that can ever be the meaning of spirituality? Going by that logic, the Pandavas should have let go of their claim, and Ram would have let go of his search for Sita.  Does that mean that we should live an egoistic life, driven by the ego? "I am mine" should be the core theme of life? We should fight the battles to expand our own empires, and exploit others to become more resourceful. Going by that logic, what imperial forces did was also justified. They expanded their rule over poor nations that could not defend themselves and exploited their resources. That was for the benefit of their own people. After all, every country tries to do the same. To protect their national interest. Pr...

The Bhagavad Gita begins with profound depth. The armies of the Pandavas and Kauravas are face to face on the battlefield, and the battle is just about to commence. Arjuna looks at the warriors on the Kaurava side and becomes perplexed. How can he fight his elders and teachers? His mind had been conditioned not to fight his own family members, not to strike elders, and to always respect his teachers. He feels quite heavy, drops his Gandiva, and feels like leaving the battlefield.  Such a profound context. Krishna could have told him that it wasn't time to think about all these things and that Arjuna had no option but to fight the battle. His brothers could have forced him to fight, but then it would have become an ordinary battle. Krishna never told Arjuna to hurry up to fight the battle. Krishna took up each and every doubt of Arjuna and addressed it then and there. Krishna has no target. He knows the result of battle matters less than resolving the conflict inside human beings, w...

Almost all of us feel that we are quite emotional. In the sense that whenever there is a crisis in the life of somebody close to us, we feel the pain. A friend falls sick; we feel worried. A relative meets with an accident, and we feel like rushing to help him. A close friend goes through a relationship crisis, and we feel like helping him. We feel like sharing moments of joy, and we also feel like sharing the pain. That's what we understand about being emotional. Krishna knew Abhimanyu would die the day Dronacharya formed the Chakravyuha. Still, when Arjuna asked him to take his chariot away from the battlefield to fight Susarma, he did not warn Arjuna. Krishna did not stop the Kurukshetra war. Rama did not come back on the emotional appeal of Bharata and Mata Kaushalya. Why? In fact, why does the almighty and compassionate God allow all these things to happen? Why do human beings suffer so many traumas? Why did God allow Hitler to kill so many people? Why do so many murders take ...

We interact with many people in this world. When we talk to someone, we share our likes and dislikes, what we have done in our lives so far, our occupation, where we live, and our family. Generally, that's all. Sometimes, in deeper talks, we discuss our belief systems and understanding of life. But generally, these discussions stay at a very surface level. As if it's a fixed image talking to another fixed image. If the other person has a different belief system than we do, our brain simply rejects it as alien. Suppose I am worried about the marriage of my child, and the other person says that marriage is the decision of the child and he has nothing to do with it; I may simply reject that idea as alien. If I am worried about my bad health, running from one hospital to the other, and the other person advises me to try naturopathy, I simply reject that as being alien. Our brain has made an image of every person and thing. We generally don't interact with people, but we interac...

I am really surprised to see how so many intelligent people become so narrow-minded as they grow. So sure of the completeness of their narrow frame of life. Every intelligent person knows the Earth is not even a particle of dust on the cosmic scale, and we know so little about this cosmos. Then how can these intelligent people be so sure of what they do in their lives? Why would they not like to understand the meaning of life? Why would they believe the social narrative and spend the whole of their lives in pursuit of what this world considers happiness, while knowing very well that it's a very minuscule part of reality? That looks so stupid: spending our entire lives believing something we are not sure about. Like somebody living his entire life believing two people to be his parents and getting to know towards the end of his life that they are not. But intelligent people aren't that stupid. Why would they do so? If they know that "what we know" is very minuscule com...

Yesterday, I was discussing with my daughters why people keep tolerating mindlessness in public places. A few people don't do the work they are supposed to do, and it affects so many people's lives. A poorly designed road, someone parking on the side of the road and causing a 15-minute traffic jam, a poorly designed website by an organisation, the unresponsiveness of someone in an important position. Why do people tolerate all this? They responded that, since the beginning, students are asked to be compliant in the classroom. For everything, they have to take permission. That independence of mind is never inculcated. In fact, whenever somebody takes a stand against injustice, people try to make him understand that he should not get into all these things and should concentrate on his career. I agree with them, and the impact of this attitude is quite evident everywhere. The son does not take a stand when his parents ask him to take dowry; employees do not take a stand when their...

When we take up employment in an organisation, we are expected to carry out certain tasks and handle different responsibilities. We keep playing these roles and fulfilling the responsibilities, and sometimes get fed up and want an escape. A pleasure trip, a sabbatical, a few days of leave, a home visit, and so on. After the escape, we are back at work and go through the same frustration every day. Some people are more intelligent. They make their workplace and their lives enjoyable. If you can't run away from dirt, enjoy it. People enjoy office politics, bickering, sycophancy, talking rubbish about their colleagues, and poking into the personal lives of others. Very few like to explore and create new possibilities.  Life is what it is. It has a lot to offer in every situation, and yet it may be quite frustrating. We take up certain roles, both consciously and unconsciously. The moment we are born into a family, we assume certain roles. The role of a son, daughter, sister, brother, ...

The brain's conditioning is so deep that it takes years to feel comfortable with a language other than our mother tongue. That's why, when we travel to a different country, have to speak English all day, and meet an Indian, the first thing we do is speak in our native language. When we come back after touring for a week, the first thing we want to do is have tea with ginger and milk and eat home-cooked food.  We are born and brought up in a society where almost everybody shares common beliefs about life. Different societies have different meanings of life. Family members, relatives, and neighbours pass these meanings on to children, consciously or unconsciously. For example, people of my generation, who were born and brought up in North India, would have heard of all these things: "Padho ge Likho ge to Banoge Nawab, Khelo ge Kudo ge to Bano ge Kharab", such a bad social narrative about sports; "Jaldi se settle ho ja", as if the purpose of life is to get ...

It's interesting to see how we behave when both lifts in the building are out of order. Everybody is in a hurry to go to the office. The lifts are not working. Somebody on the 12th floor gets ready to go down and suddenly realises the lifts aren't working. He curses the RWA, the office, and the entire setup, takes the stairs, reaches the office, and forgets it until evening. By the time he gets back, one lift is repaired, and he follows the same old routine until the next time, when both lifts are out of order again. Why don't we make an effort to put the systems in the right place? Some of us make an effort and then give up after a few years. They realise that it's very difficult to bring change. Change is hard to bring about because very few people think about it and make the effort. Otherwise, most people are happy with some Jugaad. That's why the few who work to bring change get exhausted. If everybody tries to do their best in whatever position they are in, cha...