Life

 Yesterday, I had a very profound discussion with a few close friends. My friend, who is a practising doctor and spiritual practitioner, told me something that made me think. She said that a person does not die till she surrenders to death. The body will keep fighting till that time. That made me think a lot. When we encounter new unforeseen situations in our lives, why do we become so sad? Because the ego wants to maintain the status quo at any cost.  When we get cheated in a relationship, our plot of land is captured by somebody, a close relative suffers some diseases, we get a tough boss who fails to recognise the hard work put in by us, there is a road rage and somebody unreasonably argues with us, somebody takes away credit for the hard work done by us, our children do not listen to our advice, we are not able to buy the flat we have aimed for many years, and there are many more instances that make us sad. We do not want to face these situations and try our level best to...

Today, I had a profound discussion with a friend.  When we talk of change, what is it that is changing? When we say "I want to change", how can I change myself? If I am some total of my thoughts, is it that part of me is trying to change the other part? How will the first part be sure that the other part is wrong and needs to be changed? It may, on the other hand, be the other way around. The reality may be that the first part is wrong and the second is right. Thus, whenever there is an urge to change, the first question that should come to our mind is who wants to change whom? If a part of the mind is trying to change the other part, I am not very sure whether there is a willingness to change or if it is just a trick of the ego . The ego may be trying to gain social approval , become more acceptable to others, or make oneself more comfortable. On the other hand, the drive to change may also emanate from very different sources. It may come from a witness state where I am dif...

Are we competent to love? It seems a very strange statement in the first instance. Do we need any competence to love? Love seems so natural. But the strange thing is that most of us do not love even ourselves. Do we? What do we love? Our self-image, our beliefs, body, and ambitions. "I" am good, and the others should appreciate me for being good. "I" believe in a particular thought or religion, and consider myself to be a sum-total of these thoughts and beliefs. "I" and my body, and therefore want to protect the body and become anxious whenever there is a threat to the body or a disease that does not get cured. "I" also become happy when this body feels instinctive pleasure, such as after eating tasty food, doing shopping, travelling to a place "I" like. "I" am my ambitions and work hard to achieve my targets. What is love, on the other hand? Love is a complete merger. When there is no difference between "I" and ...

Something struck with me today to make me realise that the fundamental reason for unhappiness is a lack of gratitude . When we have gratitude for what we have, we feel happy inside. Otherwise, we feel deprived and unhappy. It is never about what we have or don’t have. We may have 99 out of 100 things we need and yet be happy for the one thing we don’t have.  Unfortunately, the schools as well as parents, believe firmly that we need to feel discontented to be motivated in life. Children are made to feel deprived of money by creating so many false use cases for money and by selling dreams that can be fulfilled with money. They work hard to get admission to a good university and get a placement with a fast pay package. They are made to feel deprived of companionship , and they look desperately for someone with whom they can share and want to marry early. They are made to feel powerless, and they want to acquire power . Basically, the whole motivation system is based on deprivation. We...

I was just listening to a talk by Sister Shivani . She says that we don't need to choose. Rather, we need to surrender, and the almighty decides for us. That's almost an impossible thing for the control freaks. How can I not choose? My choices have made me what I am. For example, I decided to do CA and write the civil services examination , and that's what defines what I am today professionally. I decided not to drink liquor, and I am proud of the fact that I am a teetotaler . I chose to read thousands of books on Neurology, Philosophy, Psychology, Quantum Physics and Mysticism . I also decided to explore Astrology and practice Vipassana . I decided to take sessions for the children. I chose my friends and people I would like to spend time with. The sum total of all these things is what I am today. How can I give away choices?  Most achievers are control freaks, and it is quite difficult for them to give up their choices. In fact, they have reached to their present positi...

Yesterday, I watched the following video of Richard Feynman on fire: https://youtu.be/vdop32yJqWg?si=ne_1GX9r5TjR6GtT Mr Feynman has explained it beautifully that burning is nothing but the coming together of the atoms of carbon and oxygen and the release of energy in the process. The reverse process takes place when plants make food by releasing the atoms of oxygen into the atmosphere and absorbing the energy from sunlight. Basically what we call fire is just the release of energy that was absorbed by the plants from the Sun . When we burn some fossil fuel , it's like experiencing the energy of the sunlight that was stored by the plants millions of years ago. Every time we light a lamp in the morning, we create a mini Sun in our home. Isn't it so profound? The universe is expanding at its own speed. The Sun is giving light to us constantly. Billions of plants and infinite cells within the leaves are constantly working to make food and release oxygen into the atmosphere. Huma...

YouTube , social media , and book stalls are full of spiritual content, and yet the world is becoming more and more self-obsessed. We see thousands of people attending the camps and talks organised by the spiritual teachers ; people even spend money to get into these camps. There is a huge demand for the VIP darshans at the temples. People pay money to get the Aarti darshans . On the surface, it appears that more and more people are inclined towards spiritualism , and therefore, the world should improve. In reality, we see hatred, jealousy, and weakness everywhere. The ego is like a marshy land. Once we are caught in that, the more we make an effort, the more we get down. If two people are trapped in a marshy land, they can't save each other because neither of them has ground beneath their feet. Even if one of them throws a rope at the other, he will not be able to take him out of the marsh because he himself is trapped. That's why most of these videos on social media, the l...

What are we so adamant about not improving? The whole atmosphere is polluted, people are dying of lung cancer, and everybody is coughing and sneezing. Yet, we are not concerned. Psychological diseases are spreading very rapidly among children, even to the extent that many of them are undergoing treatment for depression at a very young age . Roads are full of traffic, and it has become almost impossible to commute, yet we are busy celebrating marriages. The young couples line up before the IVF centres to somehow get a baby, while so many babies are waiting in the orphanages, hoping for adoption. There is a crisis in almost every relation. Why has the world become like that? Why do we pollute the atmosphere? After doing some ritual, we want the bio-waste of flowers and ash not to be dumped with the regular garbage. We pack all these things in a polybag and go to the Yamuna and throw that into the river from the little opening in the net. Why do we do that? Since childhood, we have been...

I am really surprised to see societies, communities, and organisations where almost everybody feels that there is a lot of scope for improvement, and yet almost everybody feels helpless. Everybody has valid reasons to believe that "action lies at the end of some other person" and 'nothing will change'. People have given up and become lazy. I wonder why it happens? Why do we resign ourselves to our fate? And then we bring all types of explanations from the " Law of Karma " to the " Victimhood " to justify the ecosystem. The explanation of Kaliyuga is so widespread to justify the sufferings. These justifications become all the more unacceptable when we see so many other societies and organisations thriving so well in similar situations. Where lies the origin? My take is that the origin of this "hell" lies in the lack of awareness of the "heaven". Heaven and hell are both within us. Our actions may be guided by instinct or wisdom....

It's difficult to change. We identify very quickly. Suppose the parents of a newborn child die in an accident, and the child gets a home and guardians to take care of him; he develops the same kind of attachment to the guardians. We identify very quickly with the nation in which we are born. We identify with our name. We identify with the community we live in, the town, and the organisation we work in.  At the quantum level , electrons behave like waves unless observed. They start behaving like particles when they are observed. Do we, too, get fixated on these identities when we are observed? I have experienced many discussions at our Sunday Dialogue in the J Krishnamurti Foundation , many discussions with close friends, and many sessions with the children on mindfulness , when those fixed identities disappear. None of us feels confined to these fixed ego-boundaries . Probably because there is nobody to judge. Everyone has the comfort in these dialogues, discussions, and sessions...

One of the most prominent problems of the present-day world, which almost every parent is facing, is " addiction ". The world is full of addictions. The sugary foods are so easily available, mobile phones loaded with internet are in the hands of young kids, where the YouTube shots and video games are waiting to quickly grab their attention. So many different types of goods are available on Blinkit and Amazon. Almost every food item is available at the door within half an hour of order. Almost everybody has a Genie in their hands whom they can order to bring anything. PayTm and UPI make life all the easier. No need to remember even the user id and the password. In this world, how is it possible to not fall for temptations? Why would somebody eat healthy food when spicy fast food is available just with a swipe or click? Why would somebody read books that are difficult to read when there are so many videos available on YouTube? Why would the students work hard to find the solu...

"You are worth nothing!" These words from a boss or a team leader feel as if somebody has poured molten iron into our ears. That's very unreasonable. Why should we listen to these words? These are against our self-respect . We feel really hurt. Do we recall the same words being uttered by our parents in our childhood when they used to get angry? Did we really feel upset over the same? Most of us would agree that it was never so. Even if we become temporarily upset, we would soon understand that it was for our benefit. What's the difference between these words uttered by the boss/team leader and parents? Did we not have self-respect vis-à-vis our parents? Sometimes a good friend tells us something very unpleasant, and yet we do not feel bad. Do we not have self-respect vis-à-vis that friend? Self-respect is essentially based on the survival instinct . To protect human dignity . To protect the basic respect that we give to everybody, and that we too deserve from others....

The whole world is wishing a happy New Year to each other. I wonder whether we actually know any of these words. What is happiness? Most often, we feel "happy" in the domain of the known and "old". We like to have food that suits our taste buds, meet people we know, continue with the old job, and like to continue with our old beliefs. We are not born with any of these things, but acquire them as we grow. However, somehow, we become clingy, maybe due to the addiction to their pleasure or fear of losing them. Some things form our core, and we are not happy with any "newness" therein. The tighter we hold on to our beliefs and possessions, the more difficult it is to be happy about something new. There is a constant fight between our survival instinct and exploratory drive . Survival instinct helps us survive. We try to strengthen our existence. A plant also tries to strengthen its existence by having deep roots. Otherwise, it will not be able to survive the ...

We often experience the fear of the known. As children, we were afraid to go to a dark room when there was a power cut. We all recall having butterflies in our stomachs before examinations. We feel jittery when we go to the podium to address a gathering. We feel uncomfortable when we take up a new assignment. We are on our toes when we settle in a different country or town. We are comfortable with the known. The familiar food, the comfort of home, the company of familiar people, working at a familiar workplace, and exploring places that have been explored by others and received 4 or 5 stars. Why are we so uncomfortable exploring the domain of the known? Probably because that requires us to be attentive. The brain wants to preserve energy, and that's why it makes us feel comfortable when we are surrounded by the known. We can afford to relax, we can plan according to our wishes, and things are predictable. We feel in control of things. Given an option, we would like to live a life o...