We all keep passing through different moods. We feel excited when we get what we desire, miss someone when we are unable to share our thoughts with them, experience grief when we lose someone very close to us, and feel proud when someone close to us receives an award. Feelings are very powerful. They may motivate or demotivate us.
Feelings are not permanent. They change quite fast. Even the gravest of moods may change when we share our feelings with a close friend who can understand our feelings. Then why don't we share? All of us have so many relatives. Children have their parents, siblings, and friends. Adults have their spouse, colleagues, and friends. Then where is the problem? Why don't we share? Why are there so many psychological diseases among adults as well as children?
Sharing has two prerequisites. First, a person should be willing to share. Second, the other person should be open to listening. Both of them have their own share of problems. All of us are literally on our feet almost every moment. As children, we are made to believe that we have to quickly settle down. In most cases, settling means getting a degree from a good college, having a job with a good pay package, getting married to a good spouse, and having kids and settling them in a similar manner. In the first 25-30 years of our lives, we are completely mesmerized by the "story" told to us by society, and we work hard to achieve the first three goals. Most people achieve the first three goals. The fourth goal regarding children takes the next 25 -30 years. During this entire period, we are always on our feet and are afraid of missing one or the other box. We have a constant fear of losing what we have. We are under constant fear of diseases, natural disasters, accidents, medical emergencies, loss of job, litigation, performance of our kids.
Since most people never examine the "purpose of life" made to be believed by society, they remain under constant fear of one or the other box remaining unticked. Quite often, people share their concerns about their worries around their jobs, crises in relationships, and their fears of their children not getting "settled" with their friends. Good friends can listen to these worries and also respond. However, most people do not want to examine that "belief" about the purpose of life and resultant "inner fears". Most people never examine that during their lifetime. Some examine and find it too difficult to bear the pain of accepting that "hollowness" inside and brush it under the carpet. Some dare to see that but are afraid to share the same because of the fear of rejection by society. Some dare to discuss with one or two close people. Some discuss it and find no one to appreciate their perspective. Very few get a person or two who can understand that perspective, and then that "sharing" is on a different plane.
"Sharing" is not about "using" other people or becoming a "tool" of exploitation. Sharing is exploring freely. Sharing can take place when both people are free of their prejudices. They can examine some thoughts independently of their biases. That requires complete freedom from "beliefs". Most people are too afraid to even keep their "beliefs" aside, even for a small period. That's why they "judge" constantly. Judgment and sharing do not go hand in hand. The moment the speaker feels that he is being judged, he stops sharing. The moment the listener starts judging, there is no listening. That's why sharing at a deeper level is so difficult in this world. That's why this world is so lonely, and the psychological problems are on the rise. Each one of us is full of love and compassion for all. It is just covered by our "strong sense of separation," like the Sun covered by dark clouds. We just need to observe, and the clouds disappear.
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