Today, we celebrate Friendship Day. I feel that friendship is at the core of every good relationship, and without friendship, any and every relationship is quite meaningless. When I think of my friends, what is the first thing that comes to my mind? Freedom of expression. When I talk to friends, I feel free to express my feelings. None is sitting in the seat of judgement, analysing whatever we say through the lenses of social validation. There is unfiltered listening and unfiltered response. Friends do not mince words while showing us their face. Friends do not censor their words while talking.
There is integrity in the relationship. This relation, unlike other relationships, is not imposed on us. We choose our friends. Unlike other relationships, there is a defined responsibility, and yet friendship requires absolute integrity. The moment there is the slightest mixture of expectations or inauthenticity, the beauty of the relationship is lost. I feel that a true friendship is always based on love because there is no other glue that can hold it. A true friend is the greatest critic, and only when we love somebody to the core of our heart do we step out of our limited frame of understanding of this world to understand their perspective, analyse what's good for them, and then, wherever necessary, tell them the required course correction. It does not matter how harsh these words sound to the friend.
Today, I was talking to a few students in Jhansi, and I told them that whenever we set a tough target, we need to have very strong motivation. There may be two types of motivation: first, based on fear, and second, based on growth. The fear-driven motivation is very strong but fades away quickly. It is because the functional role of fear is to make us fight or flee. It's always for a quick response. Long-term motivations are always based on growth. A student can't be motivated to prepare for a tough examination like the civil services due to the fear of being a failure. It requires an understanding of the growth offered by the service. When we understand what this service offers to us, we get motivated to work hard, and we can drop so many temptations during the preparation.
Similarly, any good friendship can never be based on fear. Fear of losing a shoulder to cry, or fear of losing a support system, can never be the basis of any great friendship. A good friendship takes place only when we grow with each other, we share our fears, we dare to stay naked with all our insecurities, we have complete faith in the friend's love, we don't have an iota of doubt about their intentions, concern for us, and wisdom. When friends come together with a shared purpose in life, life becomes a joy to live. Friendship does not require what other relationships require to be sustained. However, other relationships can still sustain with inauthenticity, but friendship can't. Even the slightest mixture of inauthenticity is the death knell for friendship. I am always grateful to the Almighty for blessing me with wonderful friends with whom I not only share my heart without any hitch, but also who share the same vision of life. Working together on a shared dream, to help people drop their fears and live their dreams, looks like a dream coming true, and it's such a wonderful feeling that has no words to express it.
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