Many people refuse to grow beyond their frame. We meet them after several years, and they will utter a sentence, and you will understand where it comes from. First, this society makes us insecure, then we try to cope with that insecurity and make our winning formula to come out of insecurity. We work hard to develop an identity of a "successful" businessman, "topper" student, "powerful" bureaucrat, "caring" husband, "dedicated" wife, "faithful" employee, "pious" person, or an "intelligent" person. We enjoy these "masks" till we are comfortable. The more we hide behind these masks and the more we disconnect from our real face. In fact, when some day the mask is off, we can not recognise our own face.
There would be a demonstration of "out of the world" love in almost every marriage. The same relationship turns into an ugly battlefield in the court of law shortly. Where has that "love" disappeared? It was never there in the first place. Husband and wife just put on the mask of "being in love," because that mask was convenient to get the pleasure they were craving for a long time. Now that the mask is inconvenient because it has a cost. The inner ugliness comes out. There would be a similar demonstration of "love" with the kids. Then kids grow and they stop listening to their parents, and the parents start complaining about their behaviour. The mask of "love" is taken off by strong winds of desire to dominate.
Lucky are those people who get to see their masks in their lifetime. Many people are not so lucky and remain in their masks all through their lives. They become so fixated on these masks that even an attempt to show them their real face brings a lot of resistance. Mask becomes their identity, and they are so afraid to shed that identity. Even what is hidden behind these masks is not the true identity. A child is so fearful of survival in this unkind society that he puts on one or the other mask that suits the child. That mask can't eliminate fear inside the child. In fact, the fear of judgment, failure, and isolation keeps growing inside. The more that fear grows and the more tightly the child holds on to the mask. The more tightly he holds on to the mask and the more that inner fear grows.
Unless we address that inner fear, it will not be possible for us to take off the masks. At best, we may look for a better mask. But the inner fears and insecurities will keep increasing. These inner fears and insecurities will reflect in our outer behaviour over time. Every time somebody tries to take off the mask, we will be uncomfortable. We will react. It is difficult to find a solution to these fears and insecurities in the world of "masks". We may buy many different "masks" and use them as per our convenience, but that's not going to solve the matter. The inner insecurities will keep rising. The only solution lies in taking the mask off and looking at the inner fear and insecurity, and finding the real cause thereof. Observation brings us closer to reality. Reality connects us to true love and compassion, which is not a mask. Our tryst with reality brings peace and equanimity.
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