Life

Awareness should be the norm in this society. Then why, on the contrary, is there widespread unawareness? When the whole of society is unaware, it becomes quite normal to fall into the trap of unawareness. Especially when our interaction with the rest of the world is limited. Every religion has its own concept of God, and all these concepts co-exist. These concepts are quite contradictory. While the God of one religion may have a form, the God of the other religion may not have a form. While one religion may believe in the rebirth, the other does not. Ideally, there should be a dialogue across religions to find out the reality. But we hold our beliefs so tightly that any effort to examine the same is quite painful to us.  We want to avoid pain at any cost and have more and more pleasure. We have been told since our childhood that maximization of pleasure and minimization of pain is the purpose of life, and we have accepted that maxim without ever being aware of the meaning of pain ...

I feel big social gatherings to be quite a waste of time as well as resources. People come together and spend so much money on unnecessary dresses. Dresses that are quite expensive and at the same time not even comfortable to wear. We spend lakhs to buy these dresses. We spend lakhs of rupees on food. So much food gets wasted at every function. While so many people suffer from poverty and deprivation of food, does it make sense to waste so much food? On top of it, there is no real interaction in these functions. Most people are busy running here and there. Even if people sit together and want to discuss, there is hardly any scope for the same due to the loud music. I really don't understand why people glorify these functions so much and waste their hard-earned money on these functions. When a boy and a girl are starting their new life, is there anybody who would discuss with them about the meaning of a relationship, responsibility, and the meaning of life? The kids are too busy com...

 I watched the movie Swades again yesterday. The movie is really magical. Mohan, a scientist at NASA, visits a village named Charanpur in India to bring Kaveri Maa with him. In the process, he comes into contact with the villagers and their problems. Slowly and gradually, he gets so connected to the "pain" of the villagers that he comes back to the village and starts working for the villagers. He is quite convinced that life in that village is not worth living, and therefore has no doubt in his mind about returning to NASA. What happens in the process? When Mohan comes into contact with the people, he feels their pain. Generally, we stay in our island of "I" and hardly ever allow anybody to enter that "I" or venture out of that island to enter into another island. We feel safe on that island. Entering the water is too risky. This fear makes us reject. We look at a beggar on the street, the rickshaw puller on the street, a young boy selling ballpens at the ...

Pain is our greatest teacher. When we undergo pain, we either try to ignore the pain or find a solution. We have a headache and take a painkiller or divert our mind to something else so that the body can heal itself. When we experience a feeling of separation, we either make an effort to meet that person or divert our mind to the work at hand. When we have a pain due to the loss of a relationship, we form another relationship or divert our mind towards some other thoughts. We can try to divert our minds to something else if we are in control of our attention. That can happen in cases where the source of pain is something that is not at the core of our existence. When we have options and we can fill the vacuum with something else. Pain of handling poor working conditions can be replaced by thoughts about the smiles of kids at home. Pain of a tiresome journey may be replaced with the thoughts of a reunion with old friends. However, this formula does not work when the pain is due to the l...

We make choices every day. Our efforts are, for the most part, a result of our choices. For example, we choose comfort and make efforts to acquire a comfortable home. We choose taste and make efforts to prepare tasty food. We choose social interaction and make efforts to organise social gatherings. Do we have a choice in a meditative state? When we witness every sensation, every thought, and do not react, do we still have a choice?  Somebody will say that Buddha is in a state of enlightenment, and therefore, he should not have a choice. Does that mean Buddha will now join the army and start attacking the other kingdom? Does that mean that Buddha will now start participating in the social gossip? Does that mean that Buddha will start participating in office politics? Does that mean that Buddha will now be in a vegetative state, and anybody can come and waste his time? No. Not at all. On the contrary, Buddha will no longer be in a people-pleasing mode. We please people and participat...

There are layers and layers of our being. Very few relationships are based on the connection of the core. Most relationships are based on the attraction of the outer layers. We feel insecure and see somebody wielding a lot of power. We get attracted to that person and fall in love. We feel "lonely" and see somebody taking an interest in us and get attracted to that person, and fall in love. We feel rejected and find somebody who appreciates us and develops affection towards that person, and fall in love. We have very low self-esteem because of constant criticism and insults by society, and meet somebody who holds us in high esteem, and we fall in love. We feel the pain of poverty and find somebody rich, who is interested in us, and fall in love with that person. We get inspired by somebody's ideology and fall in love. We get inspired by the thoughts of someone and fall in love.  What is the nature of all these phenomena? Is it love? Is it attachment? I think these are nei...

 Fear is a powerful motivation. It brings urgency to act. Suppose while writing this post, the building starts shaking due to an earthquake, I will leave writing the post and run quickly to a safe place. Different fears shape our lives in an insecure society. Fear of not getting a job makes many students study harder. Fear of societal approval makes us follow the norms of society. Fear of diseases makes us get health and life insurance. Fear of an uncertain future makes us save money for the future. Fear of being lonely makes us invest time and energy in relationships. Whatever fear drives our lives, isn't it a zero-sum game at the end of the day? If the entire struggle is for avoiding health crises and getting treatment for different diseases, death is the eternal reality, and at the end of life, we are going to encounter the same fear. Whatever relationships we form, at the end of the day, we will be lonely. Whatever social approvals we acquire, everybody is alone inside, and the...

Relationships may be magical, as well as the greatest cause of our sufferings. There are various types of relationships, including the parent-child relationship, the husband-wife relationship, the relationship between friends, the relationship between colleagues, and the boss-subordinate relationship. We all have relationships. What is the reason that some of these relationships are so enjoyable, while others are a great cause of suffering? All those relationships that are shadowed by complexes become painful. Superiority and inferiority complexes make relationships painful.  There may be broadly four types of relationships. First, "I know, you don't know". In these relationships, we presume that we know and the other person does not know. Since we have a better exposure to life, we compare ourselves with the other person and start making the other person feel that he does not know. We keep pointing out the mistakes in the other person. This type is quite common in parent...

 Today, I visited a residential school to interact with the 10th-grade students. It was wonderful listening to them and interacting with them. I was once again concerned after listening to the same old fear. Fear of parental disapproval. Do we realize what we do to our kids in the process? How much burden do we place on their shoulders? I asked the children whether their friendship is based on judgment. Would they break their friendship if their friend gets bad marks or chooses a different career? They said no. I asked them then why their relationships with their parents would suffer if they get low marks or choose a career that they do not like. Children answered that parents are their well-wishers. Are parents really? It's time for the parents to introspect. Children feel so burdened and want to repay the debts of parenting by getting good marks in the examination and by choosing a career that their parents want for them. In fact, few kids said that they will decide on their care...

 Krishna is often quoted for his words in the Bhagwat Geeta that we should do our work without worrying about the result. We often do not realize the great teaching behind this simple statement. Why is our every action in life tagged to one or the other result? We study to get a job, marry to find life, bring up kids so that they may take care of us, form friendships to seek the company of like-minded people, seek positions to get power, and even seek spirituality to get enlightenment or moksha. We constantly seek because we are not "aware" of what we are. Krishna is aware of who he is, and therefore, he does not seek. He acts. He explores possibilities.  Whenever we lose awareness of who we are, we will be fearful and insecure. We will become desperate to "become" somebody who looks "secure". This cruel and stupid society makes a child insecure. Unless you prove yourself to be a good student in the class and get the number one position in the class, you a...

Are the most powerful people in this world less fearful? Not at all. In fact, they are more afraid than ordinary human beings. Fear is like seepage; we may try to paint it, plaster it, cover it with the plastic sheets, or POP, or with the best of the material available in the market, seepage will continue until we repair the source of seepage. We may become the most powerful or wealthy, may develop the best social image, may subscribe to any belief system, may have a huge fan following, yet we will remain fearful unless we repair the source of fear. The source of seepage is not a lack of a coating of paint, or POP, or that plastic sheet on the wall. It's the constant supply of water from a leaking pipeline. The problem is not with water, but rather the problem is with its leakage. Life energy is flowing in our body. It helps us pay attention and concentrate. It is our lifeline, and we will not be able to survive without this energy even for a moment. The problem is not with this li...

Such a vast cosmos, with the known universe comprising hundreds of billions of galaxies, and each galaxy comprising hundreds of billions of stars, and we are stuck on Earth. The reality of Mars or Jupiter would be quite different. When we move away from the solar system to a different star, the reality undergoes a significant change. The concept of "time" changes completely. Even on Earth, when we move from one place to another other our perception of reality undergoes a significant change. Yet, we get stuck in the place where we are. What about thoughts? Thoughts are just like the clouds in the sky. Our brain has around 100 billion neurons with around 100 trillion connections. When we think, many neural connections get activated simultaneously, and there are infinite combinations and permutations, with each combination being unique. That's why no experiment can be repeated. Even if we visit the same place for the second time, our experience will be different. Our percept...

 Can a fearful mind have love and compassion? Most people would say yes. We have fear because we love our families. Therefore, we are afraid for our family members. children, their security, and their future. Is it true? We just need to introspect. What is love and compassion? Love and compassion are feelings of being connected. Where is that feeling of "being connected" coming from? This question is quite crucial. Is that feeling coming from a deep fear of being lonely and vulnerable? Can we see now that it's just the opposite? We don't fear because we love our family, friends, and relatives; rather, we "love" them because we are afraid of loneliness. We feel fragile when we are lonely.  When we "love" somebody because we want to cling to that person due to the fear of being lonely, we would like to keep that person safe, take care of that person, and also make them comfortable. But we will do all these things with an expectation of reciprocation....

When Buddha talks about the middle path, does that mean control? Does that mean balancing? Control is quite stressful, and balance is quite difficult. How would a person be at ease and maintain equanimity while he is doing something stressful and difficult? After all, equanimity is at the core of the teachings of Buddha.  When we drive a car on the highway, driving the car too slowly is difficult because the cars behind will blow their horns and will not let us drive slowly. Similarly, if we drive a car too fast, that will be quite dangerous and we will be prone to accidents. It is effortless to drive a car at nearly the speed limit. That's natural. That does not require balancing or control. Similarly, when we have to complete an assignment, by being too slow and lazy, we will not be able to complete the task and waste our precious energy. Similarly, by being too desperate, we will become anxious, and then anxiety will take over, and we will again not be able to complete the task....

Our brains are conditioned from childhood to draw conclusions. We observe a food item and quickly conclude whether it is tasty or not. We encounter a person and quickly conclude whether he is good or not. We undergo some experience and quickly conclude whether that experience was good or bad. Our brain constantly categorizes everything into good or bad, right or wrong, depending on our conditioning. We are in such a hurry because we have defined the purpose of life in terms of certain achievements, and any and everything that supports those achievements is good, and the rest are bad.  When conclusions become primary, observation becomes secondary. We are always in a hurry to conclude and therefore miss the most crucial part of the observation. Why Ravana is not able to listen to Vibhishana is because his mind has already concluded that he is not going to let go of Sita. His mind wants to possess Sita at any cost. That's why his mind just closes down on any advice to let go of Sita....

Gandhi ji went to London to become a lawyer by choice. He started practicing in South Africa like a normal lawyer to earn money. Then, what changed when he was thrown off the train? Exploitation of the blacks and racism existed before he was thrown off the train, as well as after that. Then why did it change the course of his life? Maybe a realization as to how important freedom is. Maybe the understanding that in the absence of freedom, the whole of the wealth of the world and the best of the comforts, and the best of the ecosystem are useless. While many Indians were busy tying up with the exploiters, to get something or the other in return, Gandhi ji dropped everything to confront the British rulers. It's highly uncertain. You may be killed at any moment. You may be put in jail and tortured. Leaving the comforts of family and kids, wealth and comforts, and travelling across the country to listen to the people, inspire them, and stand against the mighty is not easy. That requires...

I am truly amazed at the level of stupidity among the most "intelligent" people. Ordinary people are in a state of self-doubt because they are not sure of themselves. The "intelligent" people are quite certain of what they do. That's why there is no looking back. No re-examination. They have thousands of logic to justify their stupidity. It is difficult to convince them through arguments. Their logic and conviction are their winning formula to win the race. Different people use different modes of transport to reach their destination. Somebody walks slowly, somebody runs, somebody rides a bicycle, somebody rides a bike, somebody has a car, somebody has a sports car, somebody travels by train, somebody by flight. They may take different times to reach the destination depending on the speed of the mode of transport. If we set a wrong destination, the faster the mode of transport, the farther we will be from our real destination. That's precisely the problem wit...

Watched the movie "Sitaren Jameen Par". It is a movie made about special children and their coach. While the coach gets initially quite upset with the kids because they take a lot of time to understand. Yet, slowly and gradually, they gel well. In fact, the coach gets a life lesson from the children that life is not about winning, but rather it is about living. Children suffering from Down syndrome and many other mental disorders accept their limitations easily. They learn to adjust and live life, but the "normal" human beings find difficulties in accepting their experiences and keep running away from their fears the whole of their lives. Why do we always have to prove that we are the best? Why do we always have to win? Isn't the deep desire to be number one also emanating from the same insecure and fearful mind? Why would a loving and compassionate human being be concerned about winning or losing? Individuals are just a reflection of society. A society where ex...

 Equanimity is the key to the spiritual journey. Equanimity means that we do not react and remain at peace even in adverse circumstances. Equanimity can't be forced. It's a natural state of being for aware people. As we become aware of our inner self, we realize that this body and all the sensations in different parts of it are temporary. When there is a flow of testosterone and we feel excited, angry, or agitated; or when there is a flow of dompamine and we feel at the top of the world, after winning some medal, award, or experiencing some achievement; or when there is a flow of serotonin and we feel wider, connected, in all these situations, the "self" remains unchanged. What changes is the flow of hormones and neurotransmitters that create certain sensations in different parts of the body and create certain experiences.  Does that mean that we will no longer be concerned about anybody? If there is a rape in front of our eyes and we will maintain equanimity consider...

Comparison is quite natural to human beings. We compare ourselves with our colleagues. If we have worse circumstances than our colleagues, we feel bad. We compare our kids with the kids of our friends and colleagues. Organizations compare their employees. Boards compare the students and grade them. We even compare our friends and relatives, and often give examples that so-and-so relative is better or worse than the others. We also compare our kids and often say that one is better than the other. But why do we compare? While the whole world is busy comparing, there are lots of talks that spiritual organizations do about compassion. Compassion means concern and a willingness to help others. Can comparison and compassion co-exist? While the whole world is busy comparing itself with others, can we have compassion? Think of a child who is one of the toppers and busy comparing himself with his competitor. He may not show his notes to his competitor, but at the same time, if he has a weak stu...

Words are often deceiving. There are layers and layers of feelings, and we use word that suits us. For example, the word "responsibility" is often used by us to justify our present course of action. We do not take the time out to understand the nature of life, because we are busy with our jobs and families. Why are we busy? Because we have responsibilities for kids, family members, and sometimes relatives. What does the word "responsibility" signify? We just need to examine the genesis of this feeling. There may be a situation where we feel concerned about the kids and we know that they are vulnerable in this cruel world and therefore want to make them stronger, making them available the best education. Or we want to accumulate money for them so that they do not need to work hard. Or we want to buy them a flat so that they have some place to live. Or we want to set up a business for them so that they do not have to go through the same struggle as we did. What is the...

I don't know whether the human mind can truly comprehend feelings like love and compassion. An insecure mind gets programmed by society to follow the majority view. It looks safe to believe in what most people say. This "safe option" takes very deep roots in our minds. We look for validation of our actions and views, and that's why we are absolutely certain, the moment our views and actions are validated by our friends and relatives. We choose the most popular (and therefore most competitive) streams of education, career options, and jobs. We choose to marry because almost everybody in society tells us to marry. Even while choosing a life partner, we go by popular criteria.  Actually, we are never sure of what we want. Understanding what we want requires listening to our "heart". Not so that we do not have examples of the people who followed their hearts. We have thousands of examples who listened to their heart. In fact, all our mythological heroes listened...

Who will understand the pain of Buddha? His father wanted him to enjoy the best of the world. He offered to arrange best of the comforts available in this world for him. The more he insisted on those comforts and the more Buddha was in pain. His father was offering the best he could have offered and yet every such offer would end up increasing the pain of Buddha. It was beyond the capacity of his father to understand the mind of Buddha. Buddha experienced that deep love and compassion, how can he remain confined to an island. Father was happy creating an island for his son where everything under the sun was available. However, the son has two fundamental questions in his mind. First, are these comforts permanent or temporary. Second, whatever is permanent whether the same is available to everybody or not. His self can’t be confined to an island.  A person living on island would never be able to appreciate this feeling. He is living in a picture perfect world. Unless somebody experi...

The recent news of the aircraft crash in Ahmedabad made all of us cry and worried. Still, almost all the flights took off and landed after the incident. Many of us would have travelled by air after that incident. We read and listen to news about train derailments and road accidents, yet we still travel by train and car. We see the death of near and dear ones, and yet remain so sure that we will be alive and make plans for the future. Is that faith or hallucination? If it is faith, where does that faith come from?  Probably both things co-exist. All of us know that death is a reality, and all of us have a limited time to spend on this Earth. Yet, we live life as if we exist for perpetuity. "Death" is such a hard problem that we do not want to spend time solving that, to know about life and death. We know that many people have tried for eternity to find answers to this, and most people could not find an answer. So, we try to find an easy solution. We just ignore the question an...