Fear is a powerful motivation. It brings urgency to act. Suppose while writing this post, the building starts shaking due to an earthquake, I will leave writing the post and run quickly to a safe place. Different fears shape our lives in an insecure society. Fear of not getting a job makes many students study harder. Fear of societal approval makes us follow the norms of society. Fear of diseases makes us get health and life insurance. Fear of an uncertain future makes us save money for the future. Fear of being lonely makes us invest time and energy in relationships.
Whatever fear drives our lives, isn't it a zero-sum game at the end of the day? If the entire struggle is for avoiding health crises and getting treatment for different diseases, death is the eternal reality, and at the end of life, we are going to encounter the same fear. Whatever relationships we form, at the end of the day, we will be lonely. Whatever social approvals we acquire, everybody is alone inside, and the support of society is quite superficial. Whatever wealth we acquire, to be certain, the ecosystem is fast changing, and uncertainty will always be there. Even if we ensure safety, security, and approval of society, at the very best, we have just allayed certain fears that existed in our minds.
On the other hand, when our motivations are driven by love, we grow every moment. Our limited "self" grows wider with every pursuit we do out of love. A child loves mathematics or music, and he learns that out of love for the subject, and slowly and gradually, that learning becomes a part of him. We love somebody and interact with that person, exchange thoughts, and slowly, an amalgamation takes place. Many of our thoughts undergo a change, and we no longer remain the same person that we used to be. We love our work and do it passionately. That makes us learn new things every day, and slowly that expertise becomes a part of us, and we grow.
Fear makes us limited, and love makes us grow. The understanding of this difference makes all the difference in our lives. If we can somehow set the motivation of our kids around love for life, they will grow constantly. If their choice of subjects, colleges, and partners is driven by fear of survival, uncertainty, and social validation, even if they acquire whatever they desire, they will always remain unfulfilled. With every passing day, their fears will grow stronger because they are giving water and fertilizer to that small plant of fear, implanted by their parents, and that plant turns into a giant tree by the end of their lives. On the other hand, the more our motivations are driven by love and the more we grow every day. Fear-driven motivations turn our mindset into a "fixed mindset," and love-driven motivations turn our mindset into a "growth mindset". Survival can never be the purpose of life. The purpose of any and everything lies in its effective utilization. Love makes us effectively utilize our body and mind to their best.
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