Skip to main content

Responsibility

Words are often deceiving. There are layers and layers of feelings, and we use word that suits us. For example, the word "responsibility" is often used by us to justify our present course of action. We do not take the time out to understand the nature of life, because we are busy with our jobs and families. Why are we busy? Because we have responsibilities for kids, family members, and sometimes relatives. What does the word "responsibility" signify? We just need to examine the genesis of this feeling.

There may be a situation where we feel concerned about the kids and we know that they are vulnerable in this cruel world and therefore want to make them stronger, making them available the best education. Or we want to accumulate money for them so that they do not need to work hard. Or we want to buy them a flat so that they have some place to live. Or we want to set up a business for them so that they do not have to go through the same struggle as we did. What is the genesis of "responsibility" in all these cases? It is our concern for the kids and our own insecurities. We feel attached to our kids and extend our fears and insecurities to them. We discovered our "winning formula" to handle the uncertainties of the world and have presumed that the same "winning formula" will work for the kids and therefore feel "responsible" for them, and out of "responsibility," want to arrange the same worldly means for them.

This is the most prevalent definition of "responsibility," where both persons are equally insecure and one takes some action to mitigate the fears of the other, which in turn makes him as well insecure. Sometimes, "responsibility" may also be rooted in greed and craving for pleasure. Though there is a good business already available to be taken over by the kids, we want a better option. We want them to be number one in the market. We can get them educated with whatever we have, and that is sufficient for them to lead a good life, but we want the best colleges for them and feel responsible for that. We put all our desires in the common package of the word "responsibility" so that our fears and greed get social validation. 

"Responsibilities" do not leave the people who undertake their journey into the world of spirituality. As we start observing the nature of our fears and greed, they start dropping. We are less interested in partying, we try to avoid the social gatherings where the discussions are shallow, we love solitude more than the company of people who lack substance, we are not much concerned about social validation because we do not value those fake opinions any more, we are not much interested in powers because we know that powers exist just for the exploitation of a weak system, we are not much ineterested in the attractions of the world because we like inner journey more than travelling and the comforts of the world. Still, when it comes to kids and family, their insecurities and fears affect us. Their desires and greed affect us. We feel "responsible" for them. We want to ensure good education and comforts for them. We are afraid of their fears and insecurities. At the core of our hearts, we do know that whatever we do is not going to make them secure and comfortable, yet since childhood, our brain has been conditioned to ensure the happiness of everybody around. Since these people do not want to follow the path of truth, and therefore remain unhappy, we mirror their unhappiness and make efforts to make them secure and work to make them comfortable. We feel "responsible" for them.

Do we ever feel "responsible" for the kids on the street? No. They are not my problem. Why does "responsibility" distinguish between the kids on the street and the kids at home? Because of deep-rooted fears and conditioning. We have a deep-rooted fear within us of being "lonely," and family is the strongest support. That's why we do not want to leave that security. Also, we have a deep conditioning about our "responsibility" to make everybody in our family happy. We have somehow tagged our purpose of life to that "happiness" of all the family members, even if that may be completely fake. "Responsibility," so defined, is just a nice word assigned to hide our deep insecurities and lack of understanding of life. As we realize the truth of our existence, we come out of our "limited world" and feel "concerned" for everybody around. Buddha is not just responsible for a family; rather, he is concerned for the entire world. Krishna is concerned for the establishment of "dharma", a system where there are equal opportunities for everyone to grow. Awareness sets us free of the prison of "responsibilities" to take us to a world full of love, compassion, and freedom, where we are "concerned" for the freedom of everybody else. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Field of Awareness

 I presented a paper on Vipassana long back at Delhi University, and at that time, a professor there asked me a question: "Who realises the temporality of the sensations when we practice Vipassana: the mind or something else?" That question stayed with me. I told him about my experience in Estonia. Once, I went on an office tour in Estonia, where it was extremely cold at around -15 degrees. I walked outdoors for quite a long time and developed severe stomach pain. With no medicines available to me and no doctor to visit, I sat in Vipassana and began observing sensations. After about an hour of observation, the pain disappeared. I told him that I don't know whether that was a realisation of the mind or something else, but the same brain that experienced pain some time back had no pain after some time.  The question is who was feeling the pain and where that pain disappeared after observation. When we sit in Vipassana, our minds are full of so many thoughts. Usually, our m...

A "home" decorated with "bonsai"

 Somebody gifted a plant sometime back. When I look at the plant on the Table, it appears to me as if the plant had the potential to grow into a big tree, but we confined the little plant within the limits of the pot, and it has grown strangely. It has a thick stem but has small leaves and branches. We have designed the plants to look the way we like. What "I" want is more important than what the "plant" is. The plant will grow the way "I" like it to grow. And then, "I" would also claim that "I" love the plant.  Yesterday, I went to a coaching institute to get some test series for a competitive exam for my daughter. The guide there spoke for around 40-45 minutes on the risks and chances of getting selected in different competitive examinations. So much competition. Fear is instilled into the minds of the students from the very beginning. Everything is around fear. If they are not able to get enrolment in a professional course , they wi...

Kurukshetra Within Ourselves

I watched the Netflix series Kurukshetra today. It's a wonderfully made series and, in fact, made me recall my childhood series of the Mahabharata that used to be telecast on DD. Mahabharata is magical. The most magical thing about the Mahabharata is that it has no straitjacket definition of Dharma . The entire battle of Kurukshetra is for Dharma, and everybody feels that he is fighting the battle for Dharma.  When Bhishma realises that Vichitravirya needs to be married, he goes to the Swamvara of Amba, Ambika, and Ambalika and forcefully brings them to Hastinapur . Ambika and Ambalika are married to Vichitravirya, while Amba carries out penance to take revenge on Bhishma. Why did Bhishma bring these three girls against their wishes to Hastinapur? If Vichitravirya wanted to marry, he should have shown courage and participated in the Swamvara. After all, Swamvara meant that the girls wanted to marry the most courageous person. Bhishma deprived them of their rights for his attac...