Responsibility and guilt are two emotions I have felt very deeply in my life. I think that these two emotions are quite closely linked. When we feel responsible towards someone and are unable to meet that responsibility, we feel guilty. If you feel responsible for marrying a friend you are committed to, and somehow, our parents do not agree, you feel guilty. When you feel responsible for developing good systems in an organisation but are unable to do so, you feel guilty. When you feel responsible for making someone happy and fail to do so, you feel guilty.
If one feels responsible, not fulfilling that responsibility will naturally make one feel guilty. But why do we feel responsible? Do we feel responsible because we love? Do we feel responsible towards God because we love God? Most probably not. Love does not bring a sense of responsibility. On the contrary, it is a sense of separation that brings responsibility. The sense of separation breeds the sense of doership. When we have a strong sense of doership, we feel responsible. On the other hand, when we love, we lose that sense of doership.
In a state of love, we just flow. We are one with the person or the thing we love. A scientist loves to know, and therefore, he just flows as he tries to unravel the secrets of nature. Does he feel responsible? In fact, that is out of question. He just plays with nature. On the other hand, suppose he receives sponsorship to conduct research with a particular outcome in mind. As soon as the outcome becomes the locus, love for the research will take a back seat, and responsibility will automatically take the front seat. Now the scientist will feel responsible for achieving the intended outcome, and if he is unable to do so, he will feel guilty.
Similarly, a girl and a boy love each other. They want to talk to each other and explore the world together. Is there any question of responsibility? No. They both crave each other and want to talk to the other. Not so that one feels responsible for talking to the other. The moment one feels responsible, love disappears, and possession begins. There is a sense of doership. One may develop a sense of responsibility to make the other person happy. He may try to judge the other person's mood and manipulate his behaviour so that the other person feels happy. He will endure all kinds of pain for that. Is that love? No. That can at best be "care with responsibility".
Love and exploration are absolutely abstract. They are very fragile. Even the slightest of ego evaporates these feelings instantly. They need a solid base of freedom. When the scientist tries to understand the secrets of nature, he has to leave aside whatever he knows. He has to just flow and float freely in the domain of the unknown. He can't do this with expectations of a certain outcome or while holding on to his beliefs. A person can't love somebody while holding on to his sense of doership. He may take care of a person, considering her an extension of himself. That's not love. That's just ego ballooning. Relationships are not for trophies. Only when both people are free to flow and fly can there be love. That's why Krishna never feels guilty of leaving Radha, and Radha never feels guilty of not coming with Krishna. because there is no sense of doership. Radha never made Krishna feel responsible for making her happy. In this world, where love is rare, most relationships are glued together with a sense of responsibility, which, unfortunately, is not like "Fevicol ka majboot jod". If the ego itself is so fragile, anything based in the ego can't be strong. That's why there are so many relationship crises in this world. That's why love is the only solution to all the crises in this world.
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