The more we try to get out of the play of ego, the more we are trapped. Why? Because the one who tries is just an extension of the ego. The ego may divide itself into many different forms. It may get attached to our self-image, social image, family, community, position or material possessions. "I" may claim that I am not interested in money or powers, but "I" may be very possessive about the social image of being a saint. Similarly, "I" may claim that I am free from biases and beliefs and like to enquire and observe everything, but the fact of the matter may be that "I am highly attached to my self-image of being an aware person.
I once met Mingyur Rinpoche in Bodhgaya and asked the same question. How do we test ourselves? He told me that the only yardstick is to watch our reactions. If we are attached to material possessions, we will react when we lose them. Similarly, if we are attached to our family, we will react when there is a crisis. If we are attached to our social image, people's validation will matter a lot. If we are attached to our self-image, it will be difficult to take criticism, and we will react when people try to show us the mirror.
But that seems to be quite normal. How can someone be happy when their property is being illegally seized by someone else? How can somebody be happy when a family member has a terminal disease? How can somebody be happy when people throw stones on his public reputation? How can somebody be happy when he is being accused of being wrong for no fault of his? Is there any solution?
Yes, there is a solution. How does a batsman face a ball? Does he pray to God that the bowler should be nice to him? Does he become angry with the bowler because he bowled at a very high speed or tried to take his wicket? The batsman knows very well that it's a part of the game. The bowler will try to bowl the best they can. He has to play to the best of his capacity. At the end of the day, it's a match. We, too, have come to play games in this world. Once the inning is over, we will be back to the pavilion. Constant remembrance of the reality of being is the only solution. When we remember reality, we do not get trapped in falsity. The problem is that, unless we practice that reality from early childhood, we often become so obsessed with the match that we forget the pavilion. We compulsively play the entire match and do so with a lot of stress. Constant awareness of the "source" is the only solution.
That's not easy in this world because most people don't remember and behave compulsively. We feel unsafe and insecure in this ecosystem, and that's an ideal breeding ground for the ego. That's why it is all the more difficult for the parents to connect their children to that "Source". But that's the challenge. Playing a match calmly in a hostile country, where the pitch favours the opponents, the bowlers of the opponent team are at their best, and the spectators shout at every ball to support the bowler of the opponent team, is real fun. That's the real test of a batsman's character. Living with awareness in this world full of wars, exploitation, and aggression is a real challenge. That's why all our Avatars took birth in the most difficult times to show us how to live with awareness in the most challenging times. The Gods are not just to be prayed to seek their blessings; rather, they are to show us the way to live life with awareness.
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