Life

If I ask a question to the kids whether they want a fulfilling life or not, I feel that almost 100% of the students will answer yes. If I ask another question what percentage of the parents are living a fulfilled life, answers may probably vary. However, most of us would agree that the answer is definitely not 100% and a majority of the students would agree that it may be less than 50% and probably far less than that. If all of us want to live a fulfilling life, then how is it so that the majority of us end up living a life of regrets and unfulfilled life. I feel that the answer lies in the 3Cs. What are these 3Cs? They are Clarity, Confusion, and Conflict. Kids would be surprised and laugh at clarity being the reason for unfulfilled life. I would try to explain this with an example. We see many students preparing for civil service. While they are preparing for the civil services, they are absolutely clear of their dream and feel that if they get through the examination, that will be ...

We generally feel quite uncomfortable in an uncertain ecosystem. When we are not sure whether hard work will get us entry into a good university or promotions at the office. When we are driving within the speed limit on a road and suddenly a bullock-cart enters the road without light from the wrong side we just skip an accident. When people behave quite unexpectedly. When systems go haywire. When we get trapped in some phishing fraud. When people change their loyalties for petty benefits. All these situations make us uncomfortable.  On the other hand, robust systems make our lives easier and relaxed. For example when we are sure that only well-qualified drivers are on the roads. When we know that the reactions of society are quite sensible. When systems treat everybody with a reasonable degree of fairness. When there are no delays in justice. When an honest hardworking man is reasonably sure of getting fair opportunities. We are reasonably sure of not being cheated. Systems make an...

 आसपास के लोगों को देखना काफी दिलचस्प है। मुझे लगता है कि परमाणु ताकतों से मेल खाने वाले मोटे तौर पर 4 तरह के लोग होते हैं। जैसा कि हम सभी जानते हैं, प्रकृति की 4 मूलभूत शक्तियाँ हैं: गुरुत्वाकर्षण, मजबूत परमाणु बल, कमजोर परमाणु बल और विद्युत चुम्बकीय बल। गुरुत्वाकर्षण वह बल है जिससे द्रव्यमान वाली कोई वस्तु दूसरों को अपनी ओर आकर्षित करती है। उदाहरण के लिए, ब्लैक होल में जबरदस्त गुरुत्वाकर्षण होता है और यह प्रकाश की किरणों को भी अपनी ओर खींच सकता है। हमारे समाज में ऐसे बहुत से लोग हैं जिनका अहंकार बहुत प्रबल है। उनका जीवन उनके बारे में है और उनके जीवन में किसी और का कोई महत्व नहीं है।  यह "अहंकार" या आत्म-केंद्रितता विभिन्न रूप ले सकती है। किसी का ध्यान अपने शरीर और उसके सुखों पर केंद्रित हो सकता है। ऐसे व्यक्ति के लिए जीवन का अर्थ उसके शरीर को आराम और सुख प्रदान करने तक ही सीमित है। कुछ लोगों के लिए, भावनात्मक मन "अहंकार" का केंद्र हो सकता है। ऐसे लोग भावनात्मक सुखों को प्रधानता दे सकते हैं जो फिर से मनोरंजन, मनोरंजन, प्रशंसा, मान्यता, शक्तियां, प्रभुत्व इत्यादि जै...

It's quite interesting to see the people around. I feel that there are broadly 4 types of people coinciding with the nuclear forces. As we all know, there are 4 fundamental forces of nature: gravity, strong nuclear forces, weak nuclear forces, and electromagnetic force. Gravity is the force with which an object with mass attracts others towards itself. For example, black holes have tremendous gravity and can pull even the rays of light towards them. We have many such people in the society who have a very strong ego. Their life is all about them and nobody else holds any significance in their lives.  This "ego" or self-centricity may take different forms. Somebody may be fixated on one's body and its pleasures. For such a person, the meaning of life is restricted to providing comforts and pleasures to his body. For some, the emotional mind may be the center of the "ego". Such people may give primacy to emotional pleasures that may again take different forms ...

We live in a highly complex society. Despite all the complexities of society, if we try to understand human motivation, probably, most people would agree that we all want to be happy. Human civilizations have spent infinite hours discovering and inventing different technologies, and machines, and designing different products to make our lives comfortable assuming that these comforts will give us happiness. However, can we say that we are happier than the people before the invention of washing machines, the internet, computers, and airplanes? In fact, most people would agree to the contrary. That is the case, why are we then inventing the machines and technologies to make us unhappy? We have tried different models to run the societies such as democracy, bureaucracy, socialism, communism, and many other models to make people happy. However, we find that almost all these models have failed to deliver happiness to the masses. Have we ever examined the fundamental reason why human beings ar...

 आज हमने "प्रामाणिकता" की अवधारणा पर विस्तृत चर्चा की जिसका अर्थ है चेतन और अचेतन मन के बीच संघर्ष को हल करना। हमारे पास कई छिपी हुई प्रेरणाएँ होती हैं जो हमारे अचेतन मन की गहराई में छिपी होती हैं। सतह पर, ऐसा प्रतीत होता है जैसे हमारा चेतन मन कुछ मापदंडों के आधार पर निर्णय ले रहा है, जबकि पृष्ठभूमि में, निर्णय अचेतन मन द्वारा लिया जा रहा है। उदाहरण के लिए, ऐसा लगता है कि बच्चे अपने करियर के बारे में अपनी रुचियों के आधार पर निर्णय ले रहे हैं, जबकि पृष्ठभूमि में, ज्यादातर मामलों में, वे निर्णय केवल समाज और अपने माता-पिता के अनुरूप ले रहे हैं। उनके अचेतन मन की गहराई में छिपी प्राथमिक प्रेरणा अपने माता-पिता के लिए "अच्छा होना" साबित करना है।  समाज द्वारा सराहना पाने की इच्छा हमें एक अच्छी "सामाजिक छवि" बनाने में व्यस्त रखती है। इसीलिए वयस्कों के महत्वपूर्ण निर्णय सामाजिक अनुमोदन की आवश्यकता से प्रेरित होते हैं। यदि हम गहराई से जाँच करें तो संभवतः इनमें से अधिकांश इच्छाएँ भय और असुरक्षाओं पर आधारित हैं। कहीं न कहीं हमारे अचेतन मन को लगता है कि "सामाजिक मा...

Today, we had a detailed discussion on the concept of "authenticity" which means resolving the conflicts between the conscious and unconscious mind. We have many hidden motivations that lie deep inside our unconscious mind. On the surface, it appears as if our conscious mind is making decisions based on certain parameters, while in the background, the decision is being taken by the unconscious mind. For example, it seems that kids are making decisions about their careers based on their interests, while in the background, in most cases, the decisions are being made by them just to conform to society and their parents. Their primary motivation lying deep in their unconscious mind is to prove "being good" to their parents.  The desire to be appreciated by society keeps us busy building a good "social image". That's why significant decisions of adults are driven by the need for social approval. If we examine in-depth, probably most of these desires are fou...

Some of our schoolmates dropped out of school quite early while some of them completed their PhD and some continue to study even to date. Everybody went into the depths of different subjects accordingly. The dropouts started having life experiences in different businesses and jobs they got. Thus, everybody's knowledge is a sum total of the knowledge gained at schools and colleges and the life experiences gained while doing a job, business, and living with the family. It is fun to watch an interaction between the two sets of friends: the early drop-outs and the PhDs. The early-drops outs are generally very confident on almost all the subjects of the universe. They can discuss with confidence quantum physics, the functioning of the brain, cosmology, philosophy, and every other subject on the Earth. They would know how to run the Government better than the prime minister. They would know what exists inside the atom better than the Physicist. They would often consider a PhD to be a was...

 प्रिय अभिभावक, बचपन में हम अक्सर सुनते थे कि संतोष ही सबसे बड़ा धन है। हर दिन, एक आरती होती थी "ना मांगू मैं सोना चांदी मांगू दर्शन तेरे" जिसका अर्थ है कि मुझे धन नहीं चाहिए बल्कि मैं आपको चाहता हूं। साथ ही स्कूल और प्रतियोगी परीक्षाओं में प्रतिस्पर्धा रहेगी। किसी तरह, आर्थिक रूप से कठिन पृष्ठभूमि से आने के कारण, हमारी जीवित रहने की प्रवृत्ति बहुत मजबूत थी, और किसी तरह प्रतिस्पर्धा ने संतोष पर कब्ज़ा कर लिया। हमने अलग-अलग लक्ष्य निर्धारित किए और उन लक्ष्यों के पीछे दौड़ना शुरू कर दिया। कुछ ने उन लक्ष्यों को हासिल कर लिया और कुछ उन्हें हासिल नहीं कर सके और अगले सर्वश्रेष्ठ या अगले से अगले के लिए समझौता कर लिया। अब हम माता-पिता हैं और हमारे बच्चे भी उसी यात्रा पर हैं। इस प्रक्रिया में, हमें कई अनुभव हुए हैं।   मुझे लगता है कि माता-पिता के रूप में यह हमारा पहला और सबसे महत्वपूर्ण कर्तव्य है कि हम अपने जीवन के अनुभवों को ईमानदारी से अपने बच्चों तक पहुँचाएँ। मुझे लगता है कि हम अपने बच्चों के लिए कम से कम इतना तो कर ही सकते हैं कि उन्हें ऐसा माहौल दें जहां वे बेझिझक सवाल पूछ स...

Dear Parents, In our childhood, we often used to hear that contentment is the greatest wealth. Every day, there was an Aarati "Na maangu main sona chandi maangu darshan tere" meaning thereby that I do not want wealth and rather seek you. At the same time, there would be a competition at the school and in the competitive examinations. Somehow, coming from a financially difficult background, our survival instinct was very strong, and somehow competition took over contentment. We set different targets and started running after those targets. Some achieved those targets and some couldn't achieve them and settled for the next best or next to the next. Now we are parents and our kids are on the same journey. In the process, we have had many experiences.   I feel that it is our first and foremost duty, as parents, to pass on our life experiences honestly to our kids. I feel that the least we can do for our kids is to give them an atmosphere where they feel free to ask questions....

People in general appear to be quite clear in their motivations. There are very few who are confused in this world. Most people are sure that they want money, power, and positions. There may be little confusion here or there about the best course of action to get all these things. However, there is no confusion about the goals as such. That is the reason that most people do not wish to move along the path of spirituality. It is such an alien concept to them. They do not feel the need at all. They are happy in their world which has comforts and pleasures. If they face a loss of money, they try to find different ways and means to earn money. If they lose power, they try to gather power through other methods. However, even for a moment, they do not have time to rethink their goals in life.  After all, nobody except Arjuna was confused in the battle of Kurukshetra. It was out of that confusion that Arjuna approached Krishna and Krishna guided him through Bhagwad Geeta. Yudhistira, Bhim...

For most of us, thoughts define what we are. We keep identifying different people by their thought processes and appreciate or criticize them by evaluating their thought processes. We are occupied with our thoughts almost the whole of the day. Some of the thoughts do enter our dreams as well, though with greater flexibility. Different scriptures on Yoga and meditation talk of thoughtlessness. Here comes a conflict. How can we get rid of the very thoughts that define our "I" and if we get rid of the same, what remains thereafter? It seems to be an impossibility. In fact, it seems to be a utopia that has no practical use. Why would "I" like to get rid of something that defines me? Probably the latest understanding of Neurology may be quite helpful here. Basically, the human mind may be divided into two broad parts: the emotional and the rational mind. The emotional mind is the storehouse of emotions of different types such as fear, jealousy, anxiety, depression, ambit...

Everything around looks quite chaotic. There is widespread inequality. So many people are living just hand to mouth. Though the entire world talks of humanity, most human beings are just concerned about their self-interest. Different systems, be it capitalism, socialism, or communism, have failed to ensure justice for the poor. Though, there has been some improvement here and there. I am myself one of the beneficiaries of the few fairest systems, ICAI and UPSC. The CA exam is based on pure competition and merit and people like me with no family background can also clear the exam with hard work. Similarly, UPSC does not distinguish between candidates from a powerful and powerless background, and candidates get selected or rejected purely based on merit. While I was in 12th standard, I could have never imagined where I stand today in society. It gives a lot of confidence to the aspiring candidates that hard work pays off. It also makes us think as to why humanity as a whole has been able...

Probably, there are three types of motivations for human beings. Attraction, repulsion, and love. Most of our actions are driven by attraction to one or the other thing or person. As a student, we are attracted to a good life and we feel that we will get a good life if we succeed in a particular career. We get attracted to a person and that results in the formation of friendship. We get attracted to power and enter into politics. We get attracted to traveling and plan tours to different cities. Thus, different attractions drive our lives. Similarly, we form many repulsions. For example, we may be afraid of failing in the examinations and repulsion towards failure may motivate us to study hard. We have repulsion of heights and that may be the reason that we avoid going to the hills. Somebody may have repulsion to the routine life and that may be the reason for his dislike of office. We may have repulsion to different people and may avoid those people. In fact, attraction and repulsion a...