Life

We had an interaction session with children in the last two days. It was really wonderful to interact with the children. We discussed their fears, ambitions, and dreams. It is so good to see their willingness to challenge fears. They are willing to examine their fear of separation from parents, judgment by society, comparison with peers, and fear of failure. They are willing to work hard to handle these fears. Once that openness to examine and willingness to work hard to develop capacity are there, they are going to handle all these fears sooner or later.  It seems strange that children are so open to examining their fears, while adults often become so rigid in admitting their fears. When we visit a doctor, we have to tell the exact feelings and symptoms so as to enable the doctor to diagnose. If we pretend to be OK, how is the doctor going to diagnose? Most adults keep suffering and do not gather the courage even to admit that they are sick, leaving aside visiting the doctor. Goin...

The present-day world is so obsessed with speed and targets. When Krishna says in the Bhagwat Geeta that we should focus on the work and not be bothered about results, what does he really mean, and how is the same relevant in the present-day world, over-obsessed with results? The world is so fast. We travel by flight and cross many oceans and countries in hours. In fact, the present-day rockets are trying to take human beings to Mars. We have already reached the Moon.  When we take a flight and set the destination as our target, we pass through so many cities. Do we actually experience any of those cities or countries? For example, while flying from Delhi to NewYork, one may pass through many countries of Asia and Europe. Do we actually get to experience those countries? No. But when we travel by train, we pass through cities and get to experience a little bit of those cities. When we travel by bus, we get to know a little bit more about the cities on the way. We decided to visit o...

Today is India's Independence Day. Freedom and independence are the most fundamental prerequisites for growth and exploration. A slave can't decide his priorities. Similarly, a dependent person is often exploited by the person to whom they are dependent. The freedom we enjoy today is a result of the extraordinary sacrifices of many freedom fighters. It could happen when a few realized the value of freedom, and it was in fact so valuable to them that they were not afraid to risk their lives to get it back. There were many, even in that era, who believed in "chalta hai". Why does this "chalta hai" attitude get ingrained in our psyche? Why don't we act when we see people littering on the roads? Because cleanliness is not dear to us, and that's why "chalta hai". Why don't we act when we are in the midst of a discussion and someone hijacks the discussion and speaks rubbish? It is because we do not value time, and that's why "chalta ...

There are times when we feel running out of options, and a sort of hopelessness sets in. It so happened with many of us during the COVID-19 times. We don't know what to do, and we feel so unsure. Most people are "worldly intelligent" and know how to find solutions. They make decisions in their life keeping the most fundamental principle of risk management in their mind, which says that "don't keep all your eggs in one basket". That's why they diversify their risk. They do not invest too much of their time and attention in one thing. They keep many relationships and switch over from one to the other for support in moments of crisis.  Some people are not so "worldly intelligent," and therefore they focus on one relationship, and that's why they are shattered in the moment of crisis. That's why many parents, who have focused their entire life on their only child, get shattered in the moments of any problem with that child. Does that mean t...

We see numerous demonstrations of "love" at times such as Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Children's Day, and Daughter's Day, among others. Have we ever analysed what these relationships mean to us? What are we seeking through these relationships? Some sort of security? Hope that these people will stand with us in the time of crisis? If that is the case, why are the cases of depression on the rise? Why do so many people feel "lonely" despite their Facebook showing so many friends? Why are children committing suicide? Why are people constantly stressed?  I feel that a fearful mind distorts reality. The fearful mind will either fight or flee. It will not stay and observe. For a fearful person, relationships are just a "tool" to help him respond to his fears: either fighting or fleeing. For example, we are all haunted by the fear of social disapproval. Most people make "success" their winning formula to fight against...

The human body has a wonderful immune system that fights any foreign cell that enters the body. It fights any bacteria or virus that enters our body, which our bodies recognise as foreign elements. During COVID-19 times, many patients developed autoimmune disorders wherein the immune system becomes over-aggressive and starts attacking various of our own cells. The doctors had to administer many medicines that would suppress the immunity by administering steroids. This sense of "I" within human beings also works like an immunity system. It protects us, "me" and "mine" from the foreign elements that may be dangerous to the survival of "me" and "mine". Like the immune system, it also has many layers. The first layer is the skin, which prevents foreign elements from entering our body. Similarly, we ignore many people who may be dangerous. For example, we often tell children not to join a group of druggists and criminals because they may be ...

 It's interesting to see how the concept of "I" and "mine" is so ingrained in our psyche. Do we love anybody? We say that we love our family members. Do we really? When we interact with the children, we find that many of them are quite stressed due to the fear of failing to meet their parents' expectations. Will any loving person have expectations? If parents expect their children to achieve something and become sad when they are unable to achieve it, where is the love? Aren't children just tools to get those trophies?  Wife feels that husband should get dressed well when they go to some party so that the "crowd" may appreciate her husband, and she feels good to have a "trophy husband". The husband invites guests to his home, and the wife cooks delicious food, and the guests appreciate it. Husband feels happy about having a "trophy wife". Children obey the dictates of their parents, and the parents praise everywhere that the...

There are only two types of people who are fully confident. First, young kids. Second, those who have not grown beyond their limited frame of life. Naturally, kids do not have much exposure to life. They are quite convinced that their father is a hero and that he can save them in all situations. They are quite sure of what is good and what is bad. As they get exposure, they grow and understand the limitations of their parents. Their good and bad also undergo significant changes. As we grow, we get to meet different types of people coming from so many different cultures, and our belief systems undergo significant changes. We understand that everything is relative.  What happens thereafter? It is quite uncomfortable for us to live with uncertainty. We just want to be certain. We don't know who created this universe. Since we are not comfortable with uncertainty, we start believing something. In the course of time, our mind forgets that it is our belief system and becomes so certain o...

Why do people refuse to grow in a country where Krishna, Mahatma Gandhi, Sri Aurobindo, Buddha, J. Krishnamurti, Kabira, and so many great personalities were born? There is a discussion on one or the other personality in each home. We learn about these people through our textbooks, and yet we grow as self-centered human beings operating within a very limited frame of life. Why do we refuse to grow as human beings? Observation reveals that there are three reasons for not growing. First, "intoxication of pleasure", Second, "laziness to act", and Third, "loss of awareness of the larger picture of life". Most people get intoxicated for pleasure. In today's world, the means of pleasure and entertainment are available in abundance. We can watch YouTube videos and movies on the OTT platform almost all day long. Social media is at our fingertips. The departmental stores are full of products of many types. Zomato is ready to serve the food at our doorstep. Amaz...

We are unconcerned about so many things around, just to have that peace of mind. At the same time, we feel responsible for a few things. We are unconcerned about the children who are struggling to find good education and guidance, but feel responsible for the ones we have given birth to. Slowly, that attitude of non-concern turns into insensitivity. Insensitivity leads to exploitative tendencies. These exploitative tendencies give birth to wars and revolutions. If we notice carefully, it will be the same set of people who feel excessively responsible towards a few, who are unconcerned about the "others". The reason is quite clear. It is all about our understanding of the self. "Who am I?". If "I" am quite convinced that "I" am limited to the body, I dwell in, "I" would be unconcerned about anybody else except the "give and take" relationships where there is an exchange of attention and efforts. If "I" am quite convin...

 To what extent are we responsible? We observe that the child is in a self-harming state and refuses to listen. To what extent is our responsibility as a parent? We see that a friend is refusing to grow and heading towards a life crisis. To what extent will we make an effort to help him understand? We see that people in the organization are harming the organization for their self-interest and refuse to listen. To what extent should we fight for the same? We see that people enter a self-suffering loop due to ignorance. They do not invest in their skill-building, and due to a lack of skills, both technical and emotional intelligence, they feel insecure and suffer almost the whole of their lives. To what extent are we responsible? "Responsibility" is a very outcome-oriented work. We feel responsible for a good life for the child, a crisis-free life for a friend, a systemic and efficient organization, and a secure and fearless society. When we feel responsible, our focus shifts t...

The same incident appears quite different as we grow and move on to a wider frame of life. In our struggling phase, we compete with our friends and classmates for the first position. "Winning" is quite tempting. We often hesitate to share our notes. I hope everybody remembers that scene from the movie 3 idiots where Rancho comes first in the examination and his friends feel sad. The following is the link to that scene: https://youtu.be/SFOFAfagwTU?si=L7eVtx6_lfbgLLCP Why are Raju and Farhan sad? Had "Silencer" come first, had they been equally sad? No, definitely not. They never have "Silencer" in their frame of competition. We compete with the people we live with. Our competition is not with the billionaires. They are out of our frame, and we set our targets within that narrow frame.  What happens when Raju meets with an accident? He grows to realize that life has a larger meaning. Once his frame of life grows, he no longer sets his target on "packag...

Today, we celebrate Friendship Day. I feel that friendship is at the core of every good relationship, and without friendship, any and every relationship is quite meaningless. When I think of my friends, what is the first thing that comes to my mind? Freedom of expression. When I talk to friends, I feel free to express my feelings. None is sitting in the seat of judgement, analysing whatever we say through the lenses of social validation. There is unfiltered listening and unfiltered response. Friends do not mince words while showing us their face. Friends do not censor their words while talking.  There is integrity in the relationship. This relation, unlike other relationships, is not imposed on us. We choose our friends. Unlike other relationships, there is a defined responsibility, and yet friendship requires absolute integrity. The moment there is the slightest mixture of expectations or inauthenticity, the beauty of the relationship is lost. I feel that a true friendship is alwa...

Yesterday, my daughter had a very passionate discussion with my friend, who had come home. She has an interest in hand knitting and was trying to prove that it can be a profitable venture. She was quite vocal and argued quite vehemently. In the evening, I just sat with her and discussed for some time. I asked her what she gained by proving that hand knitting is the best option for earning a livelihood. I asked her whether she had tried to know the perspective of a person who has seen business in his family and has 20 years of experience in the office, and has met almost all kinds of people. I questioned her whether, in a hurry to prove our point, we miss all the potential learning. She understood immediately.  We all know very little. Knowing little is not a problem. Rather, the problem is refusing to learn more. We refuse to learn more for two reasons. First, we are not willing to put in the hard work required to know. Second, we don't know the value of learning. I know many of my...