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Art of being Authentic

We had an interaction session with children in the last two days. It was really wonderful to interact with the children. We discussed their fears, ambitions, and dreams. It is so good to see their willingness to challenge fears. They are willing to examine their fear of separation from parents, judgment by society, comparison with peers, and fear of failure. They are willing to work hard to handle these fears. Once that openness to examine and willingness to work hard to develop capacity are there, they are going to handle all these fears sooner or later. 

It seems strange that children are so open to examining their fears, while adults often become so rigid in admitting their fears. When we visit a doctor, we have to tell the doctor our exact feelings and symptoms so that the doctor can diagnose. If we pretend to be OK, how is the doctor going to diagnose? Most adults keep suffering and do not gather the courage even to admit that they are sick, leaving aside visiting the doctor. Going for psychological counselling is a taboo in our society, and that's why most people keep hiding their mental issues until they enter into severe depression, and it can't be treated without medicines. 

I really don't know why we are so adamant. We followed some narrative built by society around money, relationships, power, career, and life. We feel that we have been cheated. It's not the same as what society narrates. We realise that money does not always bring happiness. We realise that relationships are mostly exploitative, but we will not admit the same because society is sitting in the ready, up in arms, ready to judge us. We are so afraid of these judgments that we pretend "all is well". While doing this drama for several years, we get trapped and do not know how to come out of the false narrative we have built around us. We keep running after powerful positions, and after being there, we realise their fragility. But it takes courage to admit that fragility because that would mean admitting our stupidity for several years. The image of being intelligent is so dear to us that we decide to remain stupid all through our lives rather than admitting our stupidity. We realise that running after happiness is making us all the more hollow. We have tried all the popular ways and means to get happiness, but the more we try, the more "inner hollowness" haunts us. Yes, we find it impossible to admit that, because we have not learnt the art of being authentic.

That's why we often talk to kids about authenticity. If parents can tell their kids to be authentic, they can avoid bigger pains in their adulthood. The art of being authentic requires two small steps. First to observe and understand what's going on inside. Observing not through the glasses of what society has told us, but rather examining ourselves naked. As it is. Without contamination. If we feel happy, following that feeling till the very end to see what it does to us and how long that survives. If we feel sad, following that feeling to see what sadness means. Second, and more importantly, to have the courage to admit such feelings in front of others. The courage to be our real selves, irrespective of whether we are accepted or rejected by society. The first can happen only when we give some time to ourselves to be away from the noise of the material world. The second can happen only when we understand that the security of social validation is quite hollow and has made us quite weak and fearful over the years. When we recognise the utility of social validation, our dependence on it decreases, and we gather the courage to be authentic. Being authentic fills us with a lot of energy because our energy is no longer wasted in internal conflicts. That authenticity provided energy and clarity to Krishna, and He could do so many things that an ordinary person can't even think of. 

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