Love is not based on division; rather, it is based on union. That's why there is no calculation in love. There is no division. When we love life, we do not categorize experiences as good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, desirable or undesirable. We are one with life and explore every experience. We explore through life. There is no predecided goal to achieve. We live in the present moment and explore whatever comes our way. We experience the moments of crisis and loss to witness what happens inside. We realize that we were holding on to some "image" or some "mental story" which we have ourselves created. When that disappears, we feel sad. Space is full of possibilities, and life is to explore those possibilities. Relationships are all about coming together and exploring those possibilities together, rather than seeking something we like. Relationships are not "tools" to get what we want; rather, they are to provide each other with what we don't even know. Relationships are to take us beyond the domain of the known.
There are times when we feel running out of options, and a sort of hopelessness sets in. It so happened with many of us during the COVID-19 times. We don't know what to do, and we feel so unsure. Most people are "worldly intelligent" and know how to find solutions. They make decisions in their life keeping the most fundamental principle of risk management in their mind, which says that "don't keep all your eggs in one basket". That's why they diversify their risk. They do not invest too much of their time and attention in one thing. They keep many relationships and switch over from one to the other for support in moments of crisis.
Some people are not so "worldly intelligent," and therefore they focus on one relationship, and that's why they are shattered in the moment of crisis. That's why many parents, who have focused their entire life on their only child, get shattered in the moments of any problem with that child. Does that mean that "love" should also be strategised as per the principles of risk management? One should not keep all the eggs in one basket? I feel that there is something fundamentally wrong with the entire concept.
We take the financial management decisions in terms of return on investment. We want to maximise the return and minimise the risk. Our object is quite clear. That's why all these strategies work. But do we love to achieve some goal? If we do so, is that love at all? If a parent calculates the "return on his love", would there be love ever? Wouldn't it be like "God-shopping" where we keep changing our Gods depending upon who listens to our prayers? How can there be love and calculations coexist?
"Love" is all about union. When there is a union, there is no "I" and "you", and in that case, both persons live as a unit. When we calculate, we have already divided the whole world between "like" and "dislike", "good" and "bad", "desirable" and "undesirable". The moment we divide, we seek what we like, what is good, and what is desirable. We resent and repel what is not good, undesirable, and what we dislike. That means we have created a mental image of "how a relationship will feel". Our minds are constantly calculating and recalibrating. We just try to get what our minds have calculated through relationships. If we do not get what we want, we get disillusioned and move on. The brain has already fixed the target and sticks to that. In such relationships, based on divisions, there is a constant give and take. These relationships continue till there is a takeaway for both partners.
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