Life

We read so many theories about the meaning of life. However, the best lessons for life come from relationships. It's easy to maintain an arm's length distance in relationships. In fact, we do the same in most relationships. Even if we find such relationships irritating, that irritation lasts only a few moments or, at best, a few days, and we know that at the end of that period, we are not answerable. Many a time, we manage the show by pretension. Just be good on the face of the relative, and then you get a license to say whatever you want. We vent our frustration when the relative leaves home. People also make excuses and tell lies. When a relative seeks help, they will make all sorts of excuses for why they can't get it. However, these "arm-length relationships" do not make us happy. At best, they provide some degree of security based on the principles of reciprocation and nothing beyond that. Human life is not about security. Yes, we need to be secure and safe t...

Why do the closest people become the biggest enemies? We meet a lot of people in this world. We get along well with some of them and maintain an arm’s-length distance from many of them. Our expectations with the second category of people are quite minimal. Mostly, expectations from such people are based on reciprocity, and the terms and conditions of reciprocity are well defined. You come to attend my function, and I will come to attend yours. You support me, and I support you. Most of these alliances are political, and in politics, there is no permanent friendship or animosity. We maintain very clearly defined ego boundaries in these relationships and form alliances like the alliances among the kingdoms. However, we get along well with a few people. When we enter into a deep relationship with someone, we naturally start entering each other’s personal space. We open the gates of our fort to welcome the friend. He comes to visit the nooks and corners of the fort. As the friendship deepe...

Yesterday, I visited three different places and spoke with children and women going through difficult times. I really don't know what to say. Feeling different emotions. While the girls, whose characters have been tainted, are struggling to get assimilated back into society and facing anxiety over these issues. The boys in the juvenile home are struggling to get over their anger. Some women are lost and struggling to remember their home addresses so they can get home. I had a lengthy discussion yesterday morning about the meaning of life with a young, inquisitive boy. His question about the purpose of life, given how temporary life is, stayed with me. What are we all trying to do in this life?  Why do we experience such a wide range of emotions? When we fall in love with somebody, it seems that we do not need anything else. We feel complete. Then, when we are separated, living becomes a torture. We have thousands of movies around this theme. We watch a movie like Bobby or Maine ...

A friend asked why living without beliefs and certainty looks so impractical. How can we embrace uncertainty practically?  I don't know how to answer this question. So, let's presume that we are in 1900AD. Now, the practical Indians have reconciled themselves to slavery. They want to remain happy, and for that happiness, they want certainty. Now, certainty can come in two different ways. Either we believe that we are never going to be free and reconcile ourselves to the fact and accept that we are slaves, or try to gather some moments of happiness within that slavery. If not something big, let's be happy with the small things. Or we have hope that we will be free soon. If we have hope, there is a greater chance that our hopes will be shattered, and we will become sad. That's how a practical mind calculates the possibilities and accepts the first solution that we will continue to remain slaves, but will try to find a few moments of happiness here and there. But we also ...

It is so interesting to meet so many different types of people. One strange thing, which is actually very common, is that we are all so sure of what we think is right. All of us have had different experiences in our lives, and our definition of right and wrong depends upon our unique experiences. That's why we think so differently on the same issues. Yet, we are so certain that our view is the right view, and we leave no occasion to prove that and also to prove that any other view that contradicts our view is not correct. Why are we so certain? Is it because of the fear inside us ? What if we are afraid to let go of certainty? What if we are using that certainty just to hide our inner fear? I feel that is the biggest cause of human misery. Life is uncertain. The consciousness is full of possibilities. Nobody is sure when the next asteroid will hit Earth , or when the whole of humanity will vanish. Nobody knows when we will face another COVID-19-type pandemic . Nobody knows when we...

While walking in the morning, I was just thinking about hope in despair . This weekend, I am going to meet the children passing through despair . Some of them are lost in the trains and do not know the whereabouts of their families, some of them are mentally challenged, some of them are struggling for resources, some of them are in juvenile reform homes where their freedom has been curbed to a significant extent, and the entire ecosystem is depressing. Some of them have been evacuated from the red-light area and now live with the constant burden of that social stigma. During my previous interactions, we focused on hope that seems too distant to these children. We are sitting inside our AC rooms during this massive heat wave, feeling worried about climate change and talking about world politics. We are very concerned about rising oil prices, job uncertainty due to the AI revolution , and geopolitical turmoil . We get worried when the stock market falls and the number on our mobile sc...

A child has a belief in the purity of the heart,  As he grows, he meets people very smart, He becomes sceptical, A bit practical. The belief in purity weakens, He more clearly sees fear that frightens, Trust becomes more distant, He craves something instant. Instant pleasures one after the other, Make him worse than ever, The inner hollowness grows stronger, He needs some pretension to cover. Pretensions look more real than reality, Life passes quickly, The inner hollowness becomes quite apparent, A life well spent. A not-so-practical person sees something illogical, He tries to solve the puzzle, He reads wide literature, Tries to connect the dots to understand nature. Nothing makes much sense, What we know looks like non-sense, He tries meditation, That creates more confusion. The difference between reality and imagination looks blur, It's too much of a task for the brain, which is so linear, Leaving control is beyond our contemplation, Meditation is therefore nothing more than me...

 It's a strange world. If we look at it from a distance, it looks so amusing. People will pay millions of rupees for a bribe to get their work done, but you ask them for a donation of ten rupees, and they will make you feel like a beggar. Probably because many people have misused the charity's name. However, more so because people have not understood the meaning of life. Money is just a tool to get you something, but it has actually become an end in itself. There are two reasons for that. First, almost every means of comfort is available for money, and second, one can accumulate any amount of money, and there is no outer limit to accumulation.  But I feel that the problem is more fundamental than this. Whatever money a person has, what is the use of that money? Buying more properties, cars, yachts, private jets, and powerful positions. Does it make you happy? We have tagged happiness with such low-lying things, and the most amazing thing is that there is a widespread belief in...

 We look at the statue of the Buddha and are attracted by the serenity and peace on his face. When we face difficult times in our lives, and the known world is completely shaken, we feel disturbed and anxious, unable to handle this uncertainty. We recall the statue of the Buddha and set a target to attend a Vipassana camp . We feel that doing the Vipassana camp will bring the same peace and serenity to our faces. There are so many websites and books that promote the idea that we can create thoughts of prosperity and that, if we keep repeating positive thoughts, those things start manifesting in our lives. It appears that spirituality is a talisman for getting whatever we want in our lives. Yes, the domain of spirit or consciousness is full of all the possibilities. But, having seen so many possibilities, why would I want to get fixated on the one I started with? Suppose a person sees an advertisement for a property, is impressed, and decides to visit the project office to buy it...

 I have been struggling with a hard problem for the last few days. We know certain things and don't know so many things. So, when we make a decision, it is generally based on the knowledge and awareness we have accumulated in the domain of the known. Which career is good? Civil services, because they give you security and social prestige. We have been told that security and social prestige are two fundamental desirables. What if the people around us have never tasted the joy of creativity and exploration, and that's why our decision has been biased by what we know? What if a creative and exploratory career gives us true joy? At every stage of development, certain things look very attractive. A cold drink used to look very attractive in our childhood. When cold drinks were first introduced in India, they were a big attraction at wedding ceremonies. Today, people try to avoid cold drinks. Why? because we have come to know the dangerous effects on health. Were we stupid when we us...

I was just wondering why there is so much khat-pat between Devi Lakshmi and Saraswati . The most intelligent people in this world are not so well off, whereas street-smart people build large industries and hold powerful positions. Probably, it all depends on society's aspirations. In a society where the sole aspiration of the people is to earn money and accumulate wealth, wise people look stupid. When Astavakra goes to the wise sabha of Raja Janak, people, including Janak, laugh due to the many curves in his body. Then Astavakra gives them back, saying that if they can't see the self's existence beyond the body, they have no right to be called wise. Then they all realise their mistake, and Astavakra teaches them the nature of reality , which is contained in the Astavakra Geeta .  I sometimes wonder why so many people get so satisfied with money. If we analyse the lives of people around us, most people have spent 70-80% of their energies just to earn a living. They get a j...

Is it possible to have integrity without love? We value integrity a lot. If there is no discrepancy between a person's thoughts, words, and actions, and he is not trying to hide anything, we consider such a person to be high in integrity. Of course, Ram was high on integrity. When Kaikeyi asked King Dashratha to tell Rama to go to the forest as a fulfilment of one of his boons, Rama had no hesitation and decided to leave Ayodhya immediately, despite the whole of Ayodhya and King Dashratha himself requesting that he should not go to the forest.  What about Ravan? He is also high on integrity. He worked hard to get all the powers he had. He gathered knowledge of all types so that he could analyse everything to the core. He did not mince his words when he kidnapped Sita. he made an open offer to marry Sita and actually wanted to marry her and keep her happy. When his sister was insulted by Sita, he decided to take revenge and fought Ram till his last breath. His thoughts, words, and a...

When it comes to love, our condition is like a person in the midst of an ocean. Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink. We have contaminated all the relationships to the point that there is not even an iota of uncontaminated love in almost all of them. The relationship between father and son should naturally have been full of love. But the father wants his son to take care of the business and marry someone whose family would help him promote it. The mother-son relationship should again be naturally full of love. However, the mother would want the son to bring a daughter-in-law whom she can demonstrate as a prized possession in her society. The relationships between the siblings should again be uncontaminated, but they will fight like cat and dog for a small piece of land. The relationship between husband and wife should again be naturally full of love because both give birth to their children. However, the whole of the world knows the reality of the relationship.  Why are w...

When there is a crisis in a family, say for example somebody is diagnosed with cancer or some other terminal disease , or there is an acute financial crisis that mandates selling off the home and basic possessions of the family, or there is a crisis in relationships with ugly allegations and below-the-belt actions and reactions, or there is a natural disaster like earthquake , we switch on the " survival mode ". In the "survival mode" , we are driven by a fundamental objective to survive and ensure the survival of our near and dear ones.  If survival is ensured, generally, we want to enjoy life. Have nice, tasty food, meet friends, visit different places, socialise, gather comforts, watch movies, enjoy entertainment, and enjoy life. Basically, we switch on the " comfort mode " of our lives. Sometimes, when we switch on comfort mode, we realise that we do not have enough means to provide comfort for ourselves and our near and dear ones. We set different...

It's amazing to see the enthusiasm of a new bride and groom. Their minds are full of imagination about the future. Probably, that also gives a sense of achievement, because most Bollywood movies portray marriage as the destination . The hero struggles throughout the movie just to get married, and the moment he marries his beloved, there is "The End". So, probably, there is childhood conditioning among boys and girls that marriage is "the destination". There is very little appreciation for movies like Ijajat, Masoom, and Drishti. They are discounted by the people as boring, while their "boring" concept may be the closest to life.  There is a phrase in the recruitment system, " catch them young ". Identify potential employees early so their minds can be trained more effectively to align with the organisation's culture. Before a person develops independent thinking, organisations train their mind to align it with the organisation's obje...