Life

There is a crisis in relationships in the present-day world. I read the book "Winer Stands Alone" written by Paulo Coelho a long time ago, and the theme of the book was that a person who wins all the races stands alone at the end of the race. Meaning that we often compromise our relationships for the sake of winning. In reality, we may stand alone not only because of our deep desire to win the race, but also because of our laziness in not participating at all. We may stay apart from our partner because we decide to participate in different races.  What does companionship mean in that case? Is it just a marriage of convenience? Do we stay together till it is convenient and then move apart? It all depends upon what lies at the center of these relationships: "love" or "seeking". Most people in this world are seeking different things in relationships. Some seek physical comfort. For them spouse is there at home to take care of the home and make tasty food ever...

Pre-independence, India was ruled by the British. There was a government to rule like the present-day government. The difference being that the government was not elected by the people of India and was rather selected by the British Government. There was also a legislature to make the laws like the present-day Parliament of India, but the legislature made laws that served the interests of the British people. Similarly, there was a judiciary like the present-day judiciary, but the decisions of the judges were led by their biases for the British rather than being guided by truth. What is the meaning of "love" for the country in these situations? Does that mean blindly following the directions of the administration and following the rules, despite the rules being exploitative and alien? The freedom fighters rejected the idea of complying with the facade, and their "love" for the country motivated them to fight against British rule in different ways and means. "Lov...

We have various types of relationships in this world, including father-daughter, husband-wife, siblings, friends, mother-in-law-daughter-in-law, cousins, and others. Some of them are blood relationships, and some we choose. There is a certain element of choice even in blood relationships. We may decide to drop some of these relationships, or rather, prioritise them. We may prioritize our relationship with a cousin over our relationship with siblings. We choose our friends and spouse. I was just curious to know the basis of this choice. Mostly, we choose to enter into a relationship with people for two reasons. The first reason is the exchange of emotions. These exchanges are generally intangible and sometimes unconscious. There is a wide gamut of emotions for which we enter into relationships, such as security, sharing, procreation, taking care of other family members, seeking comfort, and so on. One person may have certain needs while the other person may have different needs. For exa...

We consume many foods that satisfy our taste buds. However, in the process, we develop a lot of diseases. Some people love eating sugar, and due to excessive intake of sugar, they develop diabetes. Some people love eating spices and due to that, they develop high blood pressure. Some people love drinking liquor, and due to that, they develop fatty liver. At the time of eating these food items, our attention is fully there on the sensations on the tongue, as the case may be, and we remain unaware of its consequences inside our body. Inside our bodies, the internal organs such as the liver, kidneys, heart, etc, find the food toxic and difficult to digest, but we are so occupied with our taste buds that there is hardly any chance to look inward and find how our internal organs are getting affected. There comes a time when the internal organs are damaged beyond a limit, and we start getting warning signals in different forms. Then we become aware of that, but in most cases, by that time, t...

History is witness to the fact that society has tortured time and again all those people who wanted to move on a path that challenges the social belief system. Buddha realized what truth is and just wanted to tell the same to everybody around. Buddha was tortured by constant abuse and insults from different people. Many people conspired against him by levying all types of allegations against him. Meera loved Krishna and considered him her husband. Her own family members tried to kill her. Jesus was crucified because he defied widely prevalent social norms. Similar was the fate of Socrates, who was executed by being forced to drink poison. Since time immemorial, all the people who defy social norms have met a similar fate. Why do societies across the globe behave so aggressively when it comes to treating the people who defy social norms? People come together to form a society for a common purpose. This purpose may vary from handling insecurities to common exploration. When insecure peop...

Justice and fairness are the most significant qualities of the divine. Then how would there not be divine justice? Yet, we see so many people suffering due to inequalities and exploitation. It seems that there is no divine justice. The exploiters are enjoying, and the exploited are suffering. People are killing others in the name of their beliefs. Millions were killed because one person believed that his race was superior and that the people belonging to the other race needed to be killed. Countries from Europe made many countries their colonies to exploit their resources. On the surface, the world appears to be full of injustice. However, we need to ask uncomfortable questions of ourselves. Why would a country become a slave if the people of that country are evolved? Unless the people of the country sell their nation for their selfish interests, is it possible for any outsider to rule that country? Why do people dare to sell their nation? Isn't it because their parents could not t...

The day before yesterday, I discussed with my elder daughter the movies I like. She asked me a question about my favorite films. I told her about "Swashank Redemption," which is about the efforts and desperation to regain freedom. In the story, a man is imprisoned due to false allegations and helps the jailor with his expertise. However, instead of assisting him in escaping, the jailor conspired to extend his sentence. The protagonist values his freedom so much that he digs a tunnel from the prison and escapes after years of perseverance. It perfectly portrays the feeling that comes when we lose our freedom, highlighting the desperation and determination to regain it. This illustrates how desperation transforms into perseverance rather than a quick reaction.  The other movie we discussed was "Schindler's List". We discussed how the hero saved the lives of many jews from Nazi concentration camps. How he feels sad even after doing so much that he could have saved ...

 “अच्छा व्यक्ति” कौन है? क्या यह कोई ऐसा व्यक्ति है जो किसी न किसी रूप में हमारी मदद करता है? या फिर यह कोई ऐसा व्यक्ति है जो हमारी विश्वास प्रणाली के अनुरूप है? यदि कोई हमारी सहायता तो करता है, परन्तु हमारी मान्यताओं के अनुरूप नहीं है, तो क्या होगा? क्या होगा यदि कोई हमारी मदद करता है लेकिन वह दुश्मन देश का है? क्या होगा यदि कोई हमें आगे बढ़ने में मदद करता है जबकि हम इसे अपनी विश्वास प्रणाली पर हमला मानते हैं? एक मेंढक कुएं के अंदर रहता है, और उसका दोस्त किसी तरह कुएं से बाहर निकलकर समुद्र के पास रहने लगता है। वह दुनिया की विशालता को देख पाता है और चाहता है कि कुएं के अंदर रहने वाला उसका दोस्त भी दुनिया की विशालता का अनुभव करे। वह वापस कुएँ के पास जाता है। कुएं का मेंढक उस पर धोखेबाज और बुरा मेंढक होने का आरोप लगाने लगता है क्योंकि उसने उसे अकेला छोड़ दिया था। उनका कहना है कि आप रिश्ते की प्रतिबद्धता का सम्मान नहीं कर सके। तुम्हें मेरे साथ कुएँ में रहना चाहिए था। आपके लिए, आपकी खोज मेरी कंपनी से अधिक महत्वपूर्ण थी। समुद्र का मेंढक इन सभी तर्कों को सुनता है और समझता है कि वह अपने द...

 आज मैंने "भूल चूक माफ़" फिल्म देखी जिसमें फिल्म का नायक एक लड़की से शादी करना चाहता है और लड़की का पिता शादी के लिए शर्त रखता है कि उसे 2 महीने के भीतर सरकारी नौकरी करनी होगी। वह नौकरी पाने के लिए सिस्टम में हेरफेर करता है, लेकिन अंततः उसे पता चलता है कि उसका हेरफेर किसी अन्य उम्मीदवार की कीमत पर है, जिसे उससे अधिक इसकी आवश्यकता है और इसलिए वह अपनी नौकरी की पेशकश छोड़ देता है ताकि अन्य उम्मीदवार को नौकरी मिल सके। यह बात दोनों परिवारों को पसंद नहीं आती और सभी लोग इसके लिए उसे कोसना शुरू कर देते हैं।  यह फिल्म हमारे सामने बहुत प्रासंगिक प्रश्न छोड़ती है। हमारे समाज में रिश्तों की प्रकृति क्या है? क्या हमारे सभी रिश्ते लेन-देन पर आधारित हैं? पिता अपनी बेटी की शादी तभी करेगा जब दूल्हा सरकारी नौकरी में होगा। इस स्थिति का क्या मतलब है? अगर दो लोग एक साथ जीवन बिताना चाहते हैं तो सरकारी नौकरी की क्या जरूरत है? अपनी बेटी के लिए वर ढूंढते समय पिता क्या चाहता है? क्या वह दहेज देकर लड़के को खरीदना चाहता है? यह काम केवल लड़के ही क्यों करें, लड़कियां क्यों नहीं? हम अपनी बालिकाओं को सक्षम ...

 Today, I watched the movie "Bhool Chook Maaf" where the hero of the movie wants to marry a girl and the father of the girl puts a condition for marriage that he will have to get a government job within 2 months. he manipulates the system to get the job but realizes finally that his manipulation is at the cost of some other candidate who needs it more than him and therefore gives up his job offer so that the other candidate can get the job. This is not taken kindly by both families, and everybody starts cursing him for this.  The movie leaves us with very relevant questions. What is the nature of relationships in our society? Are all our relationships transactional? Father would marry his daughter only if the groom had a government job. What does this condition mean? If two people want to spend their lives together, where does the government job come into the picture? What is the father seeking while looking for a groom for his daughter? Does he want to buy the guy by giving ...

 Who is a "good person"? Is it somebody who helps us in one or the other form? Or is it somebody who conforms to our belief system? What if somebody helps us but does not conform to our belief system? What if somebody helps us but belongs to an enemy nation? What if somebody helps us to grow while we consider that to be an attack on our belief system?  A frog lives inside a well, and his friend somehow gets out of the well and starts living near the sea. He gets to see the vastness of the world and wants his friend living inside the well also to experience that vastness of the world. He goes back to the well. The frog of the well starts accusing him of being a cheat and a bad frog because he left him alone. He says that you could not honor the commitment of the relationship. You should have stayed with me in the well. For you, your exploration was more crucial than my company. The frog of the sea listens to all these arguments and understands that he is not a "good frog...

Zooming in and out is an integral part of our daily life. We often need to focus on the task we perform, right from making tea in the kitchen to carrying out the most complicated tasks like designing rockets. But then we zoom out of the task and move on to the other. If we fail to zoom out, we will be lost in thoughts and will not be able to attend to the task at hand. For example, suppose we are too engrossed in some discussion at the office, and post-discussion, we are not able to zoom out, we will be lost in the discussion, and our efficiency at the other task will suffer. While driving back home, if we are lost in that discussion, our chances of meeting with an accident will increase significantly.  Similarly, we zoom in on our relationships. Sometimes we spend a lot of time in a relationship and then realize that there is little intersection, and then we zoom out. For example, we had a very strong friendship with a friend in our childhood, but we both grew quite differently, l...

ये इश्क़ नहीं आसाँ इतना ही समझ लीजे इक आग का दरिया है और डूब के जाना है This is a very famous couplet from Jigar Moradabadi. Why is love compared with a pond of fire? It is only love that can make us push all the boundaries. Love takes away all the fears. We have so many examples before us. Bhagat Singh, Shivaji, Maharana Pratap, Rani Lakshmi Bai, and so many other freedom fighters could bear so many unthinkable tortures due to their love for freedom. They loved freedom unconditionally and therefore did not think twice before embracing all the physical and mental tortures.  A mother can fight the entire society for her kids. We have often seen the videos of a deer mother fighting a tiger for her baby. Every mother bears the unbearable pain of delivery to give birth to the baby. It's a miracle of nature that the same mother who can't bear the pain of even a small surgery happily gives birth to a baby. Not so that the mother does not feel the pain, but there is something bigger a...

Some people doubt Buddha's selflessness because he left his wife and his child in his quest to understand the nature of reality. They also question his decision to marry when he was to move on the path of sannyasa. I feel that to understand "selfishness" and "selflessness," we need to first understand what "self" means. Most people identify "self" with the body. Generally, a person is considered to be selfish if he is fixated on the comforts of their body and their targets, while a person is considered to be selfless if they can let go of their bodily comforts for the sake of others. At the very foundation of this concept of selfishness and selflessness, there is a deep division between self and others. On the other hand, the path of Buddha is the path of self-realization, wherein a person first makes efforts to understand what "self" means. Once a person understands what "self" means, there is no difference between "...

Why do we become obese? My BMI is also on the higher side, and I realized during my self-observation that whenever we feel a deficiency of some element in our body, our body signals hunger or fatigue. However, unless we are extremely mindful, we often mistake the signal. For example, the body is deprived of water, while we mistake the signal for hunger and take carbs. Similarly, we are feeling thirsty, but we supply cold drinks or juices that have added sugar. Now, those extra sugars or carbs add to body weight. Similarly, sometimes the body is deprived of vitamins and signals for vitamins in the form of weakness, but we take more carbs that end up increasing body weight. The problem is that we are not able to read the body signals properly, and therefore not only suffer due to the lack of nutrition, but also end up becoming overweight. The problem of overweight is not confined to the body; rather, it is more prevalent in the Mind. Our mind also feels hungry, and that hunger fills us w...

All of us face situations when things go wrong. We feel frustrated, hold others responsible, pray for the improvement of conditions, sometimes want to run away and sometimes fight, but wish that the next morning we wake up, we wake up in a different world free of this problem. This happens quite often when we encounter serious problems in relationships, the death of close family members, accidents, major health issues, and major financial crises. In sum and summary, we just try to remain what we are and want the entire ecosystem to change without realizing that the change of the ecosystem is taking place to help us grow. A growth of the soul which is very difficult for the mind, fixed on this body, to understand.  A baby tries to walk and, in the process, falls many times. Adults watch the baby, but rather than being worried about the fall, they become happy because they have themselves learned to walk the same way, and they know the significance of that learning. They know how "l...

The world is full of selfish people. The selfish businessmen who can exploit their employees, undertake unfair trade practices, and even bribe the system for their selfish interests. The selfish bosses who can eat the credit away from their subordinates and make their lives hell just to claim some brownie points. The selfish kids who do not take care of their parents in their old age. The selfish parents who use their kids as trophies. The selfish people who just use their relatives to get some materialistic benefit. Selfish bureaucrats who just use the organizations and their positions for their selfish interests. Selfish politicians who use their vote banks to get to the seats of power and then exploit those power positions for their self-interest. When the world is full of such selfish people, it should be the happiest place to live because everybody is selfish and taking care of their self-interest. Then why is there so much unhappiness all around? Why 20% of American adults have o...

 Today, the primary concern of every parent is to ensure a decent job for their kids. There is no yardstick to measure decency. However, most parents consider their lifestyle the minimum standard and want their kids to have the same or more. Most parents are "convinced" that happiness has a direct correlation with money. They feel their kids would remain happy if they had the job that satisfies those "minimum standards". Some parents have not achieved that "minimum standard" but see others around and develop a desire that their kids to get the same. They remain in awe of those "achievers" and keep motivating their kids to become "achievers". Some parents are themselves "achievers" and want their kids to follow in their footsteps. Either way, both types of parents tend to focus on "lifestyle," ignoring "life" itself. "Life" is the sum total of experiences we have. There is no doubt that money helps...