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Crisis in relationships

There is a crisis in relationships in the present-day world. I read the book "Winer Stands Alone" written by Paulo Coelho a long time ago, and the theme of the book was that a person who wins all the races stands alone at the end of the race. Meaning that we often compromise our relationships for the sake of winning. In reality, we may stand alone not only because of our deep desire to win the race, but also because of our laziness in not participating at all. We may stay apart from our partner because we decide to participate in different races. 

What does companionship mean in that case? Is it just a marriage of convenience? Do we stay together till it is convenient and then move apart? It all depends upon what lies at the center of these relationships: "love" or "seeking". Most people in this world are seeking different things in relationships. Some seek physical comfort. For them spouse is there at home to take care of the home and make tasty food every day, or to earn money, take out to restaurants, travel abroad, and provide the comforts of a nice home and vehicle. Some seek emotional support from relationships. They want to share their fears and insecurities with their companion and seek assurance that their companion is standing with them in the moments of crisis. Some seek social validation through relationships. You are normal if you are married; otherwise, society considers unmarried people to be defective. Some seek procreation from relationships. 

In that case, why is the relationship between Radha and Krishna so great? There was no such seeking either on the part of Radha or Krishna. In fact, once Krishna moved to Mathura, he never met Radha, and still, their relationship is ideal in this world. So much so that on all the pious occasions, we remember Radha and Krishna. In fact, Krishna married Rukmini, and going by the standards of society, we should pray to Krishna and Rukmini rather than Radha and Krishna. That is the beauty of Indian mythology. Indian mythology can look beyond this body. It recognises the union of the souls of Radha and Krishna and celebrates that union. It recognises the fact that a true relationship is not based on seeking, but rather that is based on the connection of souls. 

Once two people are connected with "love", it does not matter what path they take in this life. When Rama went to the forest to honor the words of his father, Sita decided to go with him. She could have decided to stay back in the palace. But she chose the company of her husband over the comforts of the palace. When Sita was kidnapped by Ravana, Rama decided to fight back. He could have decided to go back to Ayodhya and marry someone else. That was perfectly acceptable to the society of the day. But he chose to search for Sita and fight for her. However, when Rama became the king of Ayodhya, and there were allegations placed on the character of Sita by the people of Ayodhya, they decided to stay apart. Rama decided to carry out his duties as a king, and Sita decided to carry out her duties as a mother. The people of Ayodhya could not appreciate true love. For them, their concept of purity of character and its validation was more important than true love. 

Without that true love, where two souls are connected, relationships are merely a marriage of convenience. You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours. There is always a calculation at play: the calculation of the demand and supply of pleasure and emotional support. The inner connection is so fragile that relationships seem so "demanding." Would Rama have ever felt, while searching for Sita, that his relationship was so demanding? Would Radha have ever thought that Krishna should have stayed back with her? Would Sita have ever thought that Rama should have left the kingdom of Ayodhya and come with her? I believe that true relationships, which have a soul connection, are filled with an abundance of love, where each partner understands and appreciates the purpose of life and encourages the other to follow their path. Yes, there is always a desire to stay together. That would have been the case with Krishna, Radha, Rama, and Sita, but the inner connection is so strong that this physical separation makes no difference to their companionship. The strength of their connection gives them the courage to stay apart and do their worldly duties rather than making them weak. On the other hand, relationships based on seeking get exposed in crisis situations. That's why relationships based on seeking appear so substandard and meaningless compared to soul-based relationships. 

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