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One Kilogram of Awareness!

Today, we had a very interesting discussion at the Sunday dialogue at Model Town. One of the key questions we discussed was: "Why do some people stay more aware than others?" There were so many different perspectives. The discussion started with knowledge. A friend said that if we keep gathering knowledge from different sources, we tend to remain more open. Another friend challenged that claim, arguing that all knowledge exists in the domain of the past, and therefore, awareness seems quite different from knowledge. We discussed whether one can ever express one's awareness. It appeared to most of us that no one can express "what he is aware of" to others because the moment "thoughts" interfere, that "awareness" disappears. 

One question that stayed with me even after discussions is why some people stay more aware than others. Why are so many people "fixated" on their viewpoint? I feel that there are varied reasons for the same. However, there seems to be one fundamental reason for being stuck: "fear". We close ourselves when we are afraid. This fear may be due to many factors. Let us take a few examples. In a village, everybody believes in a ghost living inside a tree. Now, suppose a villager goes to the city, lives there for a few years, and then returns to the village. After coming back, he finds something wrong with that belief. Now, will he challenge that belief? Challenging that belief will mean confronting everyone in the village. What will be the reaction of the family members? They will simply dissuade that person from confronting the existence of a ghost. They will be afraid of two things: the ghost's potential harm and the villagers' reaction. 

We can't buy awareness like vegetables and grains in the market. We can't say we will be aware of certain aspects of our lives and remain unaware of the rest. That's why most of us can't handle awareness. When a ray of light enters the dark room, the whole of the darkness disappears. The ego wants to hold on to unawareness because its entire existence depends on it. All the identities we hold on to are the result of ignorance. Somebody is proud of being very fair and beautiful. The moment he gets to know that skin is just a package to hold the muscles and bones inside, he can no longer be proud of his beauty. A person can't be proud of his strong body, the moment he goes to the crematorium and sees the bodies of young and old being burnt alike. The ICUs and hospital wards are equally humbling. Similarly, somebody just needs to visit the mental hospital to shed the sharpness of his wit. Somebody just needs to read about dictators like Hitler to drop the fixation with the sense of power. 

Since we are unaware of the temporality of all possessions, that's why we get fixated on them. We want to hold on to these identities. That's why we don't dare to be free. To be aware. The poor ego will keep holding on to one or the other identity in this world. When we dare to shed the identity the ego holds on to, a certain space is created that allows us to examine. Once we start examining, more and more of these identifications lose their grip. Moreover, as we begin connecting with reality, we become increasingly fearless. We start to realise that the identities we are holding on to are temporary, and therefore, there is no point in protecting them. 

The problem is that we keep living without awareness for a very long time. To hide our fears and feel safer and stronger, our brains keep creating new stories. We are so afraid of dying that we will perform any ritual told by the priest, we would do anything that society asks us to be a "good man", however stupid that may sound to logic, we would not shave on a Thursday or buy iron on a Saturday because our ancestors told us that it may not be good. The more stories our brain creates or comes to believe, the more afraid it becomes. We can start wearing rings studded with different-coloured stones on all our fingers and yet be full of fear. We fail to understand a very fundamental truth. The moment we accept a fear without examining it, it will keep spreading like cancer within our psyche. The more fearful we are, the more strongly we cling to our support system. That's why we need to practice awareness from the very beginning. That's why it is the most fundamental duty of the parents to make their children fearless. If they are fearless, they will have the capacity to examine, to be aware, and will discover the passion of their lives. 

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