The present-day society is the most comfortable in the entire history of humanity. We have invented machines to carry out work at home, have built highways, can fly conveniently across countries, have comfortable homes, have information of almost every kind at our fingertips, and also have AI to help us make use of the information. Advances in robotics have made many apparently impossible tasks quite easy to perform. Yet, so many countries are at war, people are suffering from psychological disorders, depression, there are broken relationships everywhere, and people are under tremendous stress.
What has gone wrong in the process? Why is development not bringing happiness? Because we have chosen "comforts" over "growth". Because we have chosen "fear" over "love". Doesn't that sound strange? Why would somebody choose "fear" over "love"? Probably, we are not aware of it while making these choices. Our unconscious mind processes the available information and makes certain decisions for us, without us even being aware of the same. Since childhood, everybody around says that if we do not make a good career, our life will be hell. As we grow up and join an organization, everybody in the organization keeps reminding us that we may lose our jobs for a slight mistake. Everybody around keeps reminding us that it is quite difficult to get an alternative job in the market. Based on all these chit chats that continue constantly in the background, and because we never apply our mind to that, our unconscious mind perceives a threat. The sole purpose of that threat perception should be to make us ready for action. However, with these constant threats, and there being no scope for prevention or action, we get a constant dose of adrenaline and cortisol, but since we can't take any action, this adrenaline and cortisol start hurting our own bodies. When that happens constantly, we feel the effects in terms of blood pressure, diabetes, and other similar disorders.
The same thing happens in relationships. We enter into relationships hurriedly. Even if we enter into relationships after spending a good time together, we grow differently. However, the expectations from the relationships remain the same. That brings constant disappointment to both partners. Every time we talk to the partner, we feel disappointed. When two people decide to marry, they have the common goal of having kids, having fun together, visiting different places, invest time in bringing them up, taking care of their parents, and so on. However, as they grow, one may develop their own areas of passion and may need time to follow that, while the other person may develop different areas of interest. There may be fewer intersections, but the expectations from the relationship may not be adjusted accordingly. That creates stress in relation.
If we can analyse both these types of stress together, we would notice a common cause. We do not "love" ourselves, and that's why we feel empty. We try to fill this emptiness with anything outside. That may be a good job, a strong relationship, kids, family, or friends. In some cases, that may be money or power. Whatever the external thing may be, it can never be permanent. It will undergo change. Kids will grow up and have their own families, spouses will have their own growth path, and the workplace ecosystem will keep changing with the change of bosses and owners. Money and power are quite fragile by their very nature. There will be accidents, natural calamities, and also wars. The more we are dependent upon the external support system, the more we will feel threatened by all these events.
The less we connect internally, and the stronger our dependence upon the external support system, the more we will be stressed with any changes therein. That's why love is the only antidote to stress. The moment we connect internally to ourselves, we get to know the things we like. We develop hobbies and areas of our passion where we wish to explore. We invest more and more time therein. When we do something passionately, we derive happiness in the process, and the results do not matter much. Since we drive happiness in the process, we do not feel threatened by the change of circumstances. If somebody loves their job, they will do the same in one organization or another. For X or Y price. The politics in the organization will not matter much to the person. Relationships are more complex because they may work only when both partners have the same mindset. If one person is connected internally, they would seek to explore through relationships, but if the other perceives relationships as a security, the relationship can't bloom. There will be very little intersection. When "love" rather than "fear" is the fulcrum of both partners' lives, then relationships bloom like the relationship between Krishna and Radha. Such relationships remain unaffected by anything because both partners have "love" as the fulcrum of their lives.
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