Love, in this world, is used in a very generic sense, and that's why it's quite difficult to understand. Love often brings possession, while love should make us free. How do we feel when our best friend ignores us and gets interested in somebody else? We feel jealous. At times, we develop animosity against the beloved. It reminds me of the famous song picturised on Raj Kapoor, तुम अगर मुझको न चाहो तो कोई बात नहीं, तुम किसी और को चाहोगी तो मुश्किल होगी:
Is it love? How does that love turn in to jealously? What happens when a son talks to his parents and lets them know that he is gay and would like to marry a boy? Parents get scandalised and try to convince the boy to mend his ways. When they try to convince the boy to marry a girl, is that out of love? When an industrialist accumulates a lot of wealth and passes it on to his children, and the children become addicted to the comforts, and waste their lives without utilising their potential, is that out of love?
All of us are aware of a limited frame of life. The innocent child has made his world around his best friend. He has lived day and night with dreams of living with his friend. The parents of the child who declares his gay orientation have a worldview in which everybody has a straight sexual orientation, and having a different orientation is strictly a no-no. The industrialist feels that wealth gives all the pleasures and comforts of life. Does the innocent child love his friend? Do the parents love their gay son? Does the industrialist love his son? The answer is yes and no, both depending upon how we see it.
The entire problem arises when two people have different frames of life. For the friend of that innocent child, freedom or exploration may be more important than a secure, loving company. For his friend, life may be all about having a secure relationship. For the gay child, his sexual freedom may be more important than social validation. On the other hand, for his parents, social validation may be crucial. The industrialist earned the money by working hard. Since it's hard-earned money, he understands its value, whereas his children got it for free, and that's why they do not hesitate to waste it. He lovingly hands over that wealth to his children, who get spoiled because they do not know how to handle it. All the spiritual masters, having realised the truth, want to tell it to the people. People form religion around the preachings and start fighting in the name of the religion.
It is always difficult for the person operating within a narrower frame of life to understand the perspective of the person with a broader frame. It is difficult for the person who has lived in the well all his life to understand the perspective of the person who has lived in the open sky. Where is love in this situation? For the frog in the well, love would mean to help his child also live comfortably inside the well. On the other hand, if the child comes out of the well and sees the open sky, for his father, the frog will be a barrier to his growth. The foundation of love is "absence of expectations". That can't happen unless one is completely inside. Dependency brings expectations. In human societies, there is a lot of interdependence, and that's why love is so rare. Mostly, it is negotiation and trade. I don't know whether one can ever experience unconditional "love" while being in a human body because fears and insecurities associated with the body and mind always feed the "ego" and when an "ego-centric" person is in survival mode, he becomes incapable of "loving" and "being loved".
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