Once I presented a paper on Vipassana at Delhi University, and someone asked me, "Who is the observer?" "Who is doing Vipassana?" and "When the instructions are being given by Goenka ji, who is listening to them and doing what is to be done?" If it is the mind, then how can we go beyond our perceptions? The mind receives certain instructions. The instructions are that whatever is happening in the body and mind is temporary. When we receive these instructions constantly, won't the brain project some reality? Isn't that temporariness also a projection of the mind? An imagination and nothing beyond that.
I recalled this incident while watching a YouTube video on the debate between Shankaracharya and Mandan Mishra.
https://youtu.be/UdZCBWN0HCw?si=sNvn17_t5q8hSFZX
While Mandan Mishra said karma is primary, Shankaracharya argued that karma is useless without awareness. Mandan Mishra argued that one may believe he knows when he actually knows nothing, and unless one does his worldly duties, lives in Samsara, and faces it, whatever he believes is just an illusion. Shankaracharya, on the other hand, argued that awareness is also within us and we just need to realise that.
In the morning, I listened to Goenka ji's videos on Satipatthana, where he gives detailed instructions on the method of observation. He says that there are layers and layers of past samskaras in the unconscious mind, and unless we clean all that mess, we will not be able to maintain equanimity. Those samskaras, combining with our Chitta, will keep making us react to situations. We will keep liking certain things and disliking others. The cycle of cravings and aversion will continue.
In contrast, J Krishnamurti ji says realisation is sudden. He says it is either there or not there. He says that until one keeps roaming around in the forest of thoughts, he can't know the truth. When somebody realises the urgency of change and gives his complete attention to observation, one sees it; once somebody sees it, one can't undo the seeing.
When I sit in meditation, I too start with the thoughts because that's our natural state of being. Generally, the whole of the day, one or the other thought keeps occupying us. Some thought of the past or some plan for the future. Some analysis or some new inputs. The brain is always active, and that's why, when we sit in meditation, the first thing we encounter is thoughts. When we decide to take the attention away from the thoughts and towards the breath and the body sensations, is it still the brain that observes these sensations and the breath? Is our capacity to observe just a function of the brain, or does it have an independent existence? We can be conscious of the breath or may also breathe unconsciously. When we become conscious, is it the brain that becomes conscious, the breath, or something beyond the brain?
It appears that the brain's entire functioning is based on electrons. Electrons have a very strange feature. When we observe them, they behave like particles. However, when we do not observe them, they behave like waves. This wave-particle duality of electrons has been proven on many occasions. Perhaps ego also makes these electrons behave like particles, and in that state, we divide the whole world into like and dislike. We crave a few things and are averse to others. Probably this brain has the capacity, in an egoless state, to behave like a wave. A wave that can see through the whole of the body. Which can experience the whole of the body, sensations in different parts thereof and also the thoughts, just like clouds floating in the sky. These electrons, which make us feel as if we think, can never know their wavy nature. Or maybe they already do, and that's why, when we let go and drop our thoughts, we get to experience the reality of ourselves at a much deeper level. I think thoughtless observation of self is always a possibility, but it's very sensitive, and the slightest contamination by ego spoils the whole of equanimity.
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