"I Love You" is one of the most frequently spoken sentences. I wonder, between "I" and "You", where love comes from. If "I" and "You" are like two solid rocks, love is like air. How will the two solid rocks float in the air? But the human mind is full of ingenuity. It will invent something or another to cover the rocks' solidity and make them look as if they are actually floating in the air. It will create different kinds of romantic stories and convince itself, and others, that rocks are floating in the air. It will write book after book to prove that rocks can float in the air.
But the rocks also know the reality. Reality is felt almost every moment. Sometimes the sentences spoken by the beloved feel like arrows, when we feel hurt, when we feel jealous, when we feel let down, when we feel like controlling. Where are all these reactions coming from? Are they coming from love or from ego? Definitely ego. We have made thousands of stories about ourselves, and we keep making them every day in moments when we are not so aware. "I am intelligent", I am honest", I am hard-working", "I am a well-wisher", "I am responsible". We make thousands of such stories about ourselves, and when the beloved punctures any of them, we feel the pain.
Why would the words spoken by the beloved hurt us? Obviously, because we love our self-image more than the beloved. To understand this clearly, we can ask ourselves a fundamental question. An honest answer will solve the puzzle. Why do I feel that I love somebody? There may be two possible answers. I love somebody because I feel alone without him, I feel safe in his presence, or I like to have fun with that person. In all these cases, that person's presence makes us feel safe or happy because it fits a mental story. A mental story that makes us feel unsafe, and his presence removes that fear. A mental story that makes us feel incomplete, and his presence makes us feel complete. A mental story that "Maja to Sab Ke Saath Aata Hai". We may have created many such stories, and that person's presence may make us feel happy in that world of mental stories.
On the other hand, when we like to sing, dance, carry out scientific research, climb the mountains, walk in space, fight a battle, cook food, explore the human psyche, play a game, have a dialogue on the suffering of humanity, talk philosophy, or, for that matter, do anything that involves exploration or creation, we are not conforming to any mental stories. We are not "seeking" anything in these moments. We don't want to achieve anything. We just want to flow with the air. When we experience the joy of flow, the slightest solidity appears painful. Because we know that solidity robs us of the joy of flowing freely. From "seeking to become a bigger rock" to "dropping even an iota of solidity and flowing in the air freely" is the evolution of a human being. That's why "I" can't love "You". Until and unless individual ambitions and seeking vanish, I feel love is just a tool of self-aggrandisement.
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