I watched the movie Grah Pravesh, starring accomplished actors like Sharmila Tagore and Sanjeev Kumar, a few days ago. They have a son, and the husband goes to the office every day. It so happens that at the office he has to share his cabin with a lady, and he becomes attracted to her and wants to marry her. The first part of the movie focuses on his inner conflict. The second part focuses on his wife's reaction.
It's very predictable. We all know how anybody will react in such a situation. The husband committed to the relationship, and that commitment was breached; therefore, the wife should be very upset. She should feel insecure as well. Feelings of hurt, jealousy and anger should be dominant. Anybody would expect all these reactions.
I listened to Satipatthana Pravachan by Goenka ji some time back, and he says that even if we control our reactions by strengthening our mind, the unconscious mind carries deep-rooted samskaras that surface when we face any adverse situation. Sharmila Tagore plays a very strong character in the movie; she feels the pain and hurt, yet she tells her husband to bring that lady home to see him at home, away from the office, where his behaviour and way of living are quite different from his actual way of being.
I was wondering whether that sort of mental strength is rare? Probably not. We have heard many stories of the freedom fighters who had the mental strength to bear the torture inflicted by imperial rule and yet continue on their mission. We have heard stories of the mental strength of the spies. We have heard stories of the mental strength of defence personnel who are captured by the enemy country and yet do not reveal their secrets. Where does that mental strength come from? When we make a tough decision like preparing for civil services, we know we will have to give up many pleasures. But our minds probably focus on delayed gratification. Stronger minds focus better and have their target in mind all the time. That's why they avoid wasting time and clear the exam. But what happens after clearing the examination? Many of them get caught in the same loop again. So basically, a strong mind can decide what to focus on, delay gratification, and stick to the target.
But it's very different from what Goenka ji is telling. When the unconscious mind is cleaned, focus completely changes. Now our life is not driven by delayed gratification; rather, the whole meaning of gratification undergoes transformation. Love and compassion drive our actions. Because we have seen the temporariness of all the sensations and thoughts, our actions are now driven by love. We see everyone around us as connected to us at the core level. We see that different human beings think differently because of their conditioning, and we connect with them not at the level of their conditioning, but at the level of that core where everybody is the same. The same energy, the same consciousness. When we connect with others at that level, self-gratification- whether instant or delayed no longer remains the focus. Rather, it is the well-being of everybody. We want everybody around us to have that inner connection, and when our actions are driven by that love, we do not want to possess anybody. We want everybody to reach their full potential, whether it's our children, ourselves, or anyone around us. I think that's why the character Sharmila ji plays looks so profound. Her response is rooted in deep love with the character played by Sanjeev Kumar ji. That's why it looks so attractive.
All actions driven by love- for human beings, music, science, sports, and so on- look so attractive. That's why people go and buy expensive tickets to rock concerts. That's why people go to watch Wimbledon. That's why people watch the podcasts done by great scientists. That's why TED Talks have millions of views. Any action driven by love becomes attractive and profound. Probably each one of us wants to live with love. But somehow, most of us can't go deep into our psyche to remove the layer after layer of fears and insecurities. Even if we undertake the exercise, we mostly clean the surface and never dare to enter the deeper chambers. But if we can, life actually is very fulfilling and meaningful.
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