The whole world is mad about a magical world of "love". Hollywood to Bollywood, thousands of movies have been made with the theme of love. "I love you" would be the most spoken three words in this world. I recall my school and college days. So many of us were deeply in "love" with a friend; we do not even know their whereabouts today. We keep falling in love time and again with people, things, and activities. People whom we love spending time with, things we like to have, and activities we like to do. But where is love? Probably the right question is: "What is love?"
Probably one of the most difficult questions to answer. Or maybe the easiest. Because it can't be answered; it can only be felt. A fundamental question is: can "I" ever love "you"? If "I" and "you" are different, how can there be love? I often pondered this question in my childhood. Then weird ideas would come to my mind. Suppose there is a disaster, an earthquake, or a fire; would I be able to give away "my" life to save the lives of "family members"? I was not sure. Is there space for "I" in love? Is there any space for self-respect in love? If not, isn't that love blind, and isn't it prone to exploitation?
I feel that love means "being together without boundaries". Generally, when we interact with somebody or stay with them, we have our own ego boundaries. We do not share the deepest of secrets and maintain some "me space" where we do not allow even the closest of people. Why? Because we feel vulnerable in that zone; we need 100% trust in the other person to allow entry into that space. Kids have their own "me space", and so do parents vis-à-vis their children. If you allow someone into this space and you get ditched, that's really painful, and that's why most people do not muster the courage to bare themselves before anyone. Even if somebody is quite extroverted, there would always be a secret chamber that he would not like to share with anybody. When we develop trust in somebody and take him to this secret chamber, we feel very good. We feel as if the heavy weight inside our heart has been lifted. However, that makes one extremely attached to the other. He wants to possess that person and not share them with others. That's when jealousy lays the eggs. If he feels the other person is growing closer to someone else, he becomes insecure and jealous.
But where is the space for jealousy in love? That's why we come back to the same question: "Can ego ever love?" Yes, ego can extend to another person, a few people, or even a community. But is that love? For love, one needs to be secure. So long as there is seeking, how can there be love? Till that seeking continues, one is just hunting for the person who can make him feel secure. Love is a distant dream till seeking continues. Love means merger. One has to let go of himself to explore the viewpoint of the other, to listen to his life story, to experiment with him, to create new things. It can't be done when somebody is tight, when somebody has already found some meaning in life and is trying to use the other as a tool to enrich his own life. Love demands complete ego-lessness, where one trusts the other completely despite everything, and when both share the same drive to explore. It is because love and exploration have the same origin. Understanding the source from which we have come. The consciousness, which is extremely creative, and so are we. Once we understand that, why would we be confined to a fixed frame, a mould, or a routine? We would melt all the moulds and love any and everybody who is not fixed to self-image. One who wishes to challenge himself, listen to others mindfully, and is willing to explore and create new possibilities. I feel that "love" is never between "I" and "You"; rather, awareness of the reality of self makes us love everybody who is in the process of exploration.
Comments