I watched the Netflix web series Cafe Musafir. First of all, let me congratulate the entire team on making a meaningful series that resonates with contemporary reality. Until the last decade, the social narrative was that the purpose of our lives was to study well, marry a person, and then settle down. For the first time in this decade, especially after COVID-19, people have started taking their passion seriously. I think the web series seeks to examine certain contemporary issues in depth.
First, what is the meaning of love? Is love about seeking something? If a boy feels that he loves a girl and he would be happy having a home and kids with that girl, is that love? What if the girl has ambition to grow in her career? Will this sort of love not be restrictive to the girl's ambitions? Just because society has approved of this sort of relationship, can we call it love? I feel that it is difficult to love till we are complete within and we are not seeking in the outer world. Then only can we love somebody or something. Till then, most of the time, we will keep seeking something or the other in the name of love. Sometimes comforts of family, sometimes kids, sometimes social approval, and sometimes safety and support. Since society is also founded on the same fear, it promotes such alliances, and that's why most of us keep deceiving ourselves and live with some sort of arrangement or alliance and call it love. Some such arrangements look very attractive because both partners have the same seeking, and they support each other.
Second, how long can one be happy pursuing something which has been imposed on us by some social narrative? Influenced by some responsibility, or some false narrative built by society, or some lack of information, we set a target for ourselves and keep pursuing the same for decades, and get tired and exhausted in the process. We never ever sit with ourselves to examine what our heart really wants. Until and unless circumstances destroy our plans, we generally pick a target dictated by the social narrative or our own instincts. Can we tell our children to follow their heart since the very beginning? Even if such options may not be very attractive in terms of money, is that the sole parameter to judge a meaningful life? What do we want to choose for our kids? A life full of comforts and luxuries or a life full of meaning and joy? It's not a theoretical discussion. I know tens of adults in their 30s and 40s who are undergoing treatment for depression and mental stress. We have to decide as parents what future we want for our kids.
Third, and partly related to the first. What's moving on? Two people meet and have great love and affection for each other. In the process, they realise that they have different life goals and different passions, and that's why they can't stay together and move on. They find somebody else with whom they share their dreams. This should be perfectly fine. I don't understand why there should be exclusivity in love. In fact, we should have the capacity to love the whole of the world. I can share one aspect of my life with one person and another with the other. I may have philosophical discussions with X, like to write a book with Y, and share the household with Z. Why should life be limited to one person or one family? I feel that this compartmentalisation makes life very narrow and unfulfilling. The best thing that can happen in any relationship is that both partners realise that nobody owns the other person, whatever the relationship, and everybody is free to explore their fullest potential. If they can't be helpful in that exploration, the least they can do is to allow space to the other person. Fear makes everything worse. Fear makes us insecure, and an insecure person tries to cling to something or somebody. As soon as he feels that he is losing control over such support, he becomes clingy. The more tightly he tries to hold, the quicker that support disappears.
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