I don't think that we want to come out of the pain because the feeling of pleasure is intense. Pleasure is instant, while pain may or may not come. At least we believe so. Why should we not believe? Why should we look at the negative side of things? We work hard to earn whatever we want.
No doubt that if we work hard, there are more chances that we will get what we want. That's a reality. If we work hard for money, we will get money. If we work hard for a reputation, we will get the same in return. There is no second opinion about that. Yes, there may be mishaps where calculations go wrong, or tragedies or disasters. But we can't take those unfortunate events into account when planning for the future.
But there is something more fundamental than this. What if we achieve whatever we have aimed for? Will we be happy? Do we ever examine our fundamental assumptions about happiness? So many of us know the reality of marriage as an institution, but how many of us would dare to accept that out in the open? So many of us are unable to sleep at night due to high levels of stress despite having immense wealth, but how many of us are able to accept that out in the open? Leave aside accepting publicly, how many of us are honest with ourselves? Hardly any. Why? Because the moment we accept that, we will have to let go of that pleasure. But we are so addicted to that pleasure. The pressure to earn money may take sleep away from us, but it gives us the pleasure of being a hero in the family.
All of us are instinctive by nature because of the simple reason that instinctive pleasure is instant. We can quickly grab a piece of chocolate from the fridge, and it will give us instant pleasure. If we eat, on the other hand, grams or some healthy food, that will take time, but will keep us full for a longer time. All achievers learn to avoid the instinctive behaviour of cracking competitive examinations. The majority of them are not able to defer pleasure any further and marry and settle down in life. Some can still defer pleasure further and become achievers in their field. Whatever be the case, the moment we stop deferring pleasures further, and enjoy them, we get bored very soon. That's why we develop a midlife crisis.
Very few of us are able to challenge the fundamental assumption that pleasure gives us happiness. This assumption is so fundamental to our existence that, in order to examine this fundamental assumption, we need to get out of our own vehicle of thoughts. While sitting on Earth, we can never see the universe as it truly is because the Earth orbits the Sun and rotates on its own axis; therefore, whatever we see in the sky is relative. That's why to see reality clearly, we need to get out of our own ego and its conditioning. Only then will we be able to see reality as it is. Then we will be able to examine these fundamental assumptions. However, that's not easy because of the mass hypnosis. When the entire society believes that pleasure will make us happy, and we, too, have been made to accept that fundamental hypothesis, how do we get free of such fundamental conditioning? If there is a bug in a mobile's operating system, an app can't fix it. Similarly, thoughts can't fix that bug in the fundamental conditioning of human beings because thought itself is a product of the same. Rather, we just need to see the whole of the ego and its conditioning from a distance. The first step is to accept the limitations of the thought, and then to examine the operating system. Using what tool? Using discrimination. Separating the elements of the complex mixture. Examining them one by one. As clouds get removed, the Sun automatically appears before our eyes.
It's not easy. Who says that? It is the same mind that is operating on the operating system having bugs. Then, how to do it? Just sit down quietly and close your eyes. Why? So that there is no immediate need to react to the surroundings, because that keeps the mind active and keeps it creating thoughts. Become aware of your breath for some time. Due to a habit pattern, the thoughts will take over again. In Vipassana, we do it for three and a half days and believe me, that even after sitting for that many days from morning 4 to evening 9, it's not so easy to let go of thoughts. But, definitely, after that, we have at least some moments wherein we are fully aware of our breath. Then we focus on different parts of the body. Why? Because the body is the storehouse of habits, we can get past these habits by observing these sensations with equanimity. That's what Gabor Maté, a leading Trauma Specialist, says and that's what people practice in Vipassana.
This video of Gabor Mate may help us understand this:
https://youtu.be/wgJJDBNkoQ8?si=xG7RGdeNHLJq9puZ
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