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Fragile Ego

There was a scene in the famous movie "Schindler's List" when the hero leaves the factory, where he sheltered many Jews to save their lives. He says he could have saved one more person by selling the golden button on his coat, his only asset. Despite doing so much, he feels that he could have done more. On the other hand, we have people who get so many things without any commensurate effort and still lack gratitude. Not only do they lack gratitude, but they also feel that others are duty-bound to fulfil their expectations. How do we have the two types of people, poles apart from each other, in the same world?

I feel that all of us have two different voices within us. The first voice is the voice of instincts. It makes us feel that comfort and pleasure are good for us. It says that you earn money by whatever means, even by cheating others, so that the means of comforts and pleasures may be accumulated. It says that the comfort of the day is more important than anything else in the world. The second voice is the voice of the soul. It says that the world is full of possibilities and that we should fearlessly explore it. It says that we should break free of all the fixations and fears and explore the possibilities to the fullest. It wants us to be free. It wants to love freely. It doesn't want any boundaries.

The first voice is very loud, and we can hear it even with an earplug in. Everybody around is talking of the pleasures and comforts. The most common topics in any party or social gathering are how comfortable a particular car is, how good and big our home is, how fat the package of children is, which trip is most luxurious, and so on. People keep comparing, consciously as well as unconsciously, different things such as their cars, their flats, their jobs, and even their relationships, on this pleasure index. The second voice is very dim. We can't hear the second voice unless the first is turned down, and unfortunately, most people never have an occasion in their lives to turn down that volume. That's why most people never get to hear the voice of their soul throughout their lives, and even when they do, they become so uncomfortable that they immediately switch it off.

Generally, people become addicted to the first voice, and over time, it grows stronger and stronger. They want to try many different types of pleasure. Now, normal restaurants are not sufficient, and people want to go to the five-star and exotic places. They want to travel in business class and stay in five-star and seven-star hotels. They want to consume alcohol and sometimes even drugs. Since the same old thing doesn't give the same kick, they're constantly busy finding new means until some disaster is experienced in the form of a health crisis, an accident, or the death of a near and dear one. In most cases, even disasters are not sufficient for them to break free of the addiction to pleasure. They pass through the phase of mental stress and sometimes depression to form another addiction to a different type of pleasure.

Some people are so unfortunate that they don't experience even a crisis. The people around them are so caring that they ensure that such a person does not suffer the crisis of pleasure. Probably, these people have also not listened to the second voice, the voice of their soul. They have also listened only to the first voice, and that's why they feel the moral burden of having the resources while the other person doesn't. They share resources unthinkingly because of this burden. When a weak person gets all these pleasures without making any effort for them, and also without any connection to the second voice at all, they grow arrogant. It is because neither have they made efforts to earn the means of these pleasures, nor do they realise their temporality. That gives them the confidence to feel privileged and entitled. They develop a very fragile ego. Fragile because it is dependent upon the situation, which may turn around at any moment. However, it's very difficult for such a pampered person to realise the fragility of his ego till that the arrival of a crisis, because he is sitting atop the "Mount Stupid" where he just closes his eyes to the imminent threat, like a pigeon being attacked by a cat closes its eyes. Reality is too painful for him to accept. That's why he decides to sit on that Mount, even if that Mount exists only in his mind. 

Listening to the second voice is not possible unless we turn down the first voice's volume. The problem with the people sitting atop Mount Stupid is that they are so afraid to get down that Mountain that they cook up all kinds of mental stories to avoid any and every discussion that tries to show them reality. Their mind is so afraid to get down that Mount that it becomes like a story-making machine. It feels like all the people who advise him for his own good are biased and harbour some enmity toward him. The mind is very good at creating all kinds of deceptions. I feel that it is the first and foremost duty of parents to get down from their own Mount Stupid and to help their children stay closer to reality. It's not easy to bear the pain of falling off Mount Stupid, and life will ensure we learn this lesson. That's why we just need to guide our kids to stay closer to reality, and not to make them sit on the Mount Stupid in the name of care. That's the worst care we can offer to anybody.

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