Despite so much progress and availability of all types of comforts and pleasures, probably if we have a happiness index of humanity across time, we may be at the lowest in the present times. One strong indicator is the sharp rise in psychological diseases across countries. In our childhood, we hardly ever listened to psychologists' advice, and today I personally know many people who visit psychologists regularly. If there is so much sorrow, there should be a reason for the same. As I understand it, the ABCs of sorrow are Accumulation-drive for accumulation, Becoming-the drive to become something, and Control-drive to control circumstances and others.
If we look around, the primary cause of sorrow is our drive to accumulate. Since childhood, we are told to accumulate objects of pleasure and security. Since in the present-day world almost every material object is available for money, we have a very strong drive to accumulate money. We also have a very strong desire to accumulate knowledge so that we can use that knowledge to win the race of life. We want to accumulate a network of relationships that can help us get the objects of desire. Basically, some people accumulate tangible wealth, such as money and property, while others are more interested in accumulating intangible wealth, such as power, knowledge, and a network of relationships.
Not only do we have a drive to accumulate, but we also want to "become" somebody. As if we are not happy with what we are. We want to become rich, successful, powerful, and famous. There is some sort of restlessness within that drives us to make efforts to become this or that. Somebody wants to become a good husband, somebody a good wife. Somebody wants to become a good father and somebody a good mother. We are not happy looking at our face in the mirror of life, and somehow we feel that if we get plastic surgery done, we will look better.
We are not happy with the accumulation and becoming; we want to retain control. We should be able to retain control over all our possessions. We should be able to have control over the social image. How people perceive me. Not only should we "become" somebody, but we should also be recognised by society like that. Not only should we change the features of our face, but that change should also be appreciated by society.
Think of an actor on the stage. He is given some role to play on the stage for a limited time. The set is designed by the director. Our stage is also designed by the Divine, who blesses us to be born into a particular family. The hero may or may not like that set design. If he does not like it, he tries to change the setting, accumulating various tangible and intangible objects to alter it as he wishes. Now he starts acting, and he develops a strong desire for his role to be remembered by the audience; therefore, he feels driven to prove himself. As if that is not sufficient, he wants to control his image in the minds of the audience, which is why he tries to throw his weight around and makes desperate efforts to build his image so that people accept and appreciate him in that role. If any single factor goes wrong, his life will be full of misery. Even if the entire setting is as per his wishes, and he gets the best of the role to play, if the audience does not appreciate it, he will feel a loss of control and become sad. The happiness of such a person would be utterly vulnerable.
If there are ABCs of sorrow, there should also be ABCs of happiness. After all, why would the divine be so cruel as to send us to a world where there is no happiness? As I understand, the ABCs of happiness are Awareness of temporariness, Bliss, and Compassionate concern. Paying close attention would bring awareness that everything we accumulate throughout our lives, both tangible and intangible, is temporary. Its value vanishes very soon. The value of money vanishes if we have enough. People may spend hundreds of crores on marriage ceremonies and still be as unhappy as they were before. People may hold positions considered very powerful, yet their existence may be full of fear. People may have a very wide network of relationships, yet be absolutely lonely. People may have all the knowledge in the world, yet be so stupid. The moment an actor on the stage understands that all the stage settings are just there to help them perform the role, and that once the role is over, the setting will change. Why would he be attached to the setting? That awareness of the temporality of possessions helps him get over the sorrow of losing them.
Why do we want to become somebody or place our desired image in the minds of people? Because we have never ever realised our blissful nature. We have never connected to that inner being. The moment we realise our blissful nature, we get out of the whole drama of becoming somebody. Why would an accomplished actor on the stage like to become somebody? Amitabh Bachchan would not seek his identity through a role. He is already accomplished. Similarly, we are already blissful souls, and why would we seek an identity through the role we perform in this world? We are already complete. That's what Krishna tells Arjuna. He tries to make Arjuna recall that all souls have been born from the divine and will merge therein; therefore, there is no reason for the identity crisis. This understanding takes the sorrow of failure to "become" from us.
Once we realise the blissful nature of ours, we do not want to control anything. Rather, we develop compassion and concern for everybody. We realise the pain different people are experiencing due to their drive to accumulate, to become somebody, and to control everything. We feel the pain of being so tight. We like to extend a helping hand to them so that they come out of the well of ignorance. However, often people reject that. People have rejected Lord Rama and Krishna, too. Most people do not want to read and understand Krishna's message in the Bhagavad Gita. Most people want Him to fulfil their wishes. So many realised souls, like the Buddha, have spread the message after having understood it with great clarity. Unless we substitute the ABCs of suffering with the ABCs of happiness in our lives, we will continue to suffer. No director can change an actor's mindset; it is up to the actor. The choice of ABCs is a complete free will.
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