Life is the sum total of the choices we make. Ram's life would have been different had he chosen not to go to the forest. The life of Krishna would have been completely different had he chosen not to leave Brij for Mathura. My life would have been different had I not listened to Narayan ji, my CA, when I was working in a CA firm after appearing for my CA final exam, to prepare for the civil services. I never heard of the Civil Services before that. Our choices related to friends, education, career, marriage, kids, and lifestyle all have a huge impact on who we are. In fact, we are so different because we made different choices at different points in our lives.
But what about the situations? It was only because Kaikeyi asked the two boons that Rama had to make a choice to go or not to go to the forest. It was because Kansa called Krishna that he decided to leave Brij. It was only because Narayan ji spoke to me that I had to make a decision. We come across different people in our lives, and only then do we choose whether to befriend them. We encounter different circumstances in our lives. Some of us have faced difficult situations in our childhood, and those experiences have had a major impact on who we are today. The resource crunch in our childhood, the behaviour of parents, friends we met, the demise of a few people who had influence on our lives, the city and culture we were born in, health issues, accidents, the people we met, falling in love and the break-up, everything put together has influenced our mindset, and that decides how we make decisions today.
That's the classical free will vs destiny debate. Are we a product of the choices we make, or do we make the choices that are destined for us? I have been contemplating this for the last 15 years, but unsure. It's really difficult for the human mind to keep so much information in the RAM and find correlations. Even if we are able to, our conclusions will again be biased by our experiences. Moreover, we know too little. We have not yet solved the mystery of life and death. We don't know where the seat of the ego is in our brain. We have very little information about even Moon, our own satellite, let alone the other planets and stars. In a universe with billions of galaxies, each containing billions of stars and planets, we still believe that life exists only on Earth. With so little information available to humanity as a whole, and I being aware of a minuscule portion thereof, it is absolutely stupid to draw conclusions about the nature of reality.
Yet, choice and destiny are both realities. None of us can deny that certain choices we made have shaped who we are today. Similarly, many circumstances have also had a great impact on our lives. The most important thing is to understand the process of making a choice. How do we make a choice? When we make a choice, we have a situation and an intended outcome, and we calculate how best to reach that outcome. For example, a child in 11th standard generally chooses the stream of education he wants to pursue. Some want to go to IIT, some to AIIMS, and some want to do Law. Accordingly, they choose the subjects. Depending upon the resources available to them and the city they live in, they choose the coaching institute. Some decide to do self-study. So there is an intended outcome, and there are situations, and as a sum total of these two, we make decisions.
But how do we decide the intended outcome? Mahatma Gandhi decided to become a lawyer, and he went to London to study law. One day, he was thrown off a train, and he decided to fight for the freedom of the people of South Africa and then for India. He could have simply decided to become more powerful by acquiring ranks and positions. What made him leave everything and fight for freedom? Because at that point in time, he could foresee that no titles and positions were going to make him free. He could see the futility of so many targets and milestones that his contemporaries set for themselves. The ego is very fragile and weak, which is why it seeks strength from external possessions. However, once we see through these external possessions and their limitations, we choose love and freedom over them. Once we see through, the external circumstances also do not matter much. It would not matter to Krishna whether he fights his own battle against Jarasandha or helps Arjuna fight the battle of Kurukshetra. His actions will always be guided by love and freedom. Love towards humanity as a whole and not towards a few individuals.
The ego will always divide, and love will always unite. That's why it's crucial to examine ourselves to see where our motivation comes from. From laziness? From a belief? From attachment to a person or material comforts? From hatred and revenge? From the inner fear and drive to achieve something to allay that fear? From an urgency to get validation from the people around us? Or is it coming from love? From drive to explore? To enter into the domain of the unknown? To be free? To connect? To know? To help? A deep dive into the mysteries of the universe? To create something out of thin air? The stronger the "I", the more our motivation will be rooted in the first set of motivators. We will be more sure of ourselves, less open to the world of the unknown. However, the journey of the "self" from the comfortable home of the "ego" into the world of the unknown is not for a weak heart. I feel that it is possible only when the "self" has developed "vairagya" through deep examination and experience of the futility and transience of all the widely celebrated and admired "milestones" that drive the whole world. That's why Yog Vashistha will lay the foundation of Ramayana.
Comments