What is our greatest fear? Different people will give different answers. A child may answer that his biggest fear is losing his parents. A student may answer that his biggest fear is failure in the examination. In fact, many of us dream of failing examinations even after getting into the job. An adult may have the biggest fear of losing his job. Somebody may have a fear of losing a relationship. Some of us may have the greatest fear of being turned into a laughing stock at a social gathering. An industrialist may have the greatest fear of losing his business empire. A politician may have the greatest fear of losing power. A person fighting against cancer may have the greatest fear of death.
But how many of us have the fear of wasting life? As discussed above, we are afraid of different things. As children, we feared losing the toy we considered our most prized possession. While playing cricket, we were afraid of losing the ball. Today, we understand the futility of that fear. As a child, our domain of the known was very limited, and our fears too emanated from that limited zone of awareness. What if our zone of awareness is still very limited, and all our fears stem from that limitation? In fact, when we look back and analyse our lives, we would agree that whatever we are proud of is mostly what we did not plan. We could somehow believe the unknown and flow with it. The most memorable trips are those that were not planned; we suddenly packed, believed in our hearts, and started. The best relationships are those without calculation. The most fulfilling assignments are the ones where we just follow our hearts and do not calculate.
Yet, we calculate so much. We want the best products to buy and the best house to possess. Not only the objects, but we also calculate to invest in the relationships. The human mind constantly calculates while making decisions. What is there in it for me? When we are so calculating, we should make the best decisions. We should be the happiest in the world. But why are so many intelligent people so depressed? We know, as a matter of fact, that some of the richest and most intelligent people underwent the treatment for depression. Why? This is because all the calculations stem from the sense of separation or the ego. Ego is the mask that we wear, and deep behind that mask lies the real self. The more often we wear that mask, the more we get disconnected from our real selves. So, calculations have a cost. Cost of moving away from the true self. When we move away from the real self, we get disconnected from the inner love and compassion. A disconnected soul may be powerful, wealthy, healthy, and intelligent, but can never be happy. It will always be fearful because all the things it clings to and finds security in are temporary, and their temporality will always make it insecure.
A calculative mind feels very intelligent and believes it can manage best for itself. However, the problem is that it does not know what is good for him. It is just like that small boy who feels that protecting the toy will make him happy. That little boy may do all the calculations in the world to secure his toy and feel happy with that. But the fact of the matter is that the moment he grows, he will realise that the toy can't make him happy. We just keep changing the toys all our lives and do not make an effort to get back to the core. The more toys we gather, the happier we feel. However, with that happiness comes a fear of losing those toys.
Can we learn to live without the toys? Only when we realise the temporality of all toys can we get past the instinct to accumulate more and more. If not all these toys, then what? The known is just the surface of the earth, while the unknown is the vast universe, comprising billions of galaxies, each containing billions of stars and planets. Once we believe in our heart and dare to leave the earth, we are the guests of the whole of the universe. While being on the earth, we can never calculate what's going to happen. We just have to believe the process and move on. Unless we get past the domain of the known, the whole life will be wasted in calculations. We will keep feeling that we have made the best calculations and have defeated our enemy, or have gathered power and money. However, the fact is that the more we gather these toys, the more fearful we will be. Arjun calculates in the first chapter of Geeta and remains quite fearful and confused. He will weigh social approval, traditions, relationships, and emotions. However, he must believe in Krishna and move on to fight the Battle of Kurukshetra. What happened at the Battle of Kurukshetra is beyond the comprehension of anybody. Life is also the battle of Kurukshetra, and to fight like Arjuna, we have to believe in Krishna. Otherwise, we will naturally assume the role of Duryodhana, Bhishma, Karna or Drona. At best, we will assume the role of Bhima, driven by revenge, or of Yudhistira, driven by the fixed rules. But it's not easy to play the game of life under the direction of Krishna. Only Arjuna could dare.
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