The whole day long, we just practice being aware of the outside world. The faces of people, their expressions, their emotions, the things they talk about, the books we read, the worlds we listen to, and so on. Our brains have got used to that kind of attention since our birth. The brain has been constantly busy processing that information and making sense of it so that we may act quickly if we see any danger and also maximise opportunities. That's why ego is not ready to let go of that attention and awareness. But the ego does not know what lies inside. Dropping that old habit pattern and seeing what lies inside is one of the most difficult habit patterns to break. We keep trying again and again for the 10 days. Some people get a few moments when they drop that control and see the vastness of the "self" and how different thoughts keep coming and going like the clouds in the sky. That awareness shifts something permanently inside. It's like a beggar, extremely worried about his survival, discovering that he owns a great treasure. That's why "inner awareness" is given so much premium in the spiritual journey. With inner awareness, so many things drop. One can focus on what is truly important in life. Once someone removes the external fixations, the whole world is available to him to explore. That makes life really meaningful.
One of the biggest boons we all have is "limited awareness". We can see the things that are larger than a particular limit. Think of the scenario where we can see everything clearly, however small. What if we could see the viruses and bacteria inside the food? Would we be able to eat that food? What if we could see the small microbes on the floor? Would we be able to walk? What if we can see the dust particles in the air clearly? What if we could read the minds of the people we live with? We would probably not be able to tolerate them. What if we could see our past lives? It will be difficult for us to live such a shallow life again and again.
At the same time, there is a lot of premium to "awareness' in almost every spiritual tradition. Doesn't it appear to be contradictory? Why would we try to be aware of the things that are going to give us pain? When we talk about awareness, it comes in two types. First, awareness of the external world; second, awareness of the inner world. Awareness of the external world, without commensurate awareness of the inner world, is really dangerous. I read the book Aghora by Robert Svoboda a few years back. In the book, Robert Svoboda tells about the life of his guru, Swami Vimalananda. His guru was a great astrologer and predicted his own son's death to the exact day and time. His son asked for his permission to leave home. He knew his son would not come back, yet he could not do anything. How many of us would like to have such knowledge about the time of death of our near and dear ones? That may be extremely painful for someone who is unaware of their inner world. Swami Vimalananda was an aghori and could handle this awareness.
That's why such occult knowledge without the awareness of the inner would is extremely dangerous. I have been researching Astrology for the last 15 years and find it extremely difficult to handle people's queries. Most people want to hear something good. The problem is that most people lack the capacity to digest the truth. When they enquire about their future, they look forward to you getting that ray of hope. For getting that assurance that everything will be all right. But Astrology is actually very different. It just tells how the situations are going to turn. Which aspect of life is going to be eventful, and what types of challenges are we going to face?
The problem is that most people feel that these occult studies and awareness of metaphysical phenomena will add to their arsenal. On the contrary, the awareness of these phenomena makes them more fearful. That's why they will start wearing all types of stones. That's why the first and foremost purpose of human life is to become aware of the "self". Who am I? However, the problem is that this enquiry is often undertaken by the ego. How will the ego, which itself is biased, understand the nature of reality? That's the biggest problem in the journey. Quite often, we just tend to conform to our own beliefs and preconceived notions in the name of spirituality. That's why it becomes almost impossible for all of us to follow the instructions during Vipassana. The moment we try to take attention away from thoughts and concentrate on the breath, another thought comes back. The ego does not want to lose control over attention. It is too afraid to lose control.
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