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Loneliness

Today, in our Sunday dialogue, we had a profound discussion. Shakti ji mentioned that J. Krishnamurti once said that the seeking of pleasure begins with our inability to accept loneliness. We get bored. Unable to bear that boredom, we want some spice in life. We seek the company of people. We want to enjoy the materialistic pleasures. One restaurant to the other, one tourist place to the other. Since money is the currency used to buy all these pleasures, it becomes central to our existence.

Most of the relationships are formed as an escape. Since two people are uncomfortable in their own company, they form a relationship to give comfort to each other. Both run after the objects of pleasure together. The story of Gandhari is very beautiful and symbolic. She married Dhritrastra and had her eyes blindfolded for the rest of her life. That seems quite strange. If her husband were blind, at least she could have helped her husband see the world. His life would have been more comfortable. It seems to be a very strange and stupid decision on the surface. However, that's what all of us are doing. That's what happens when two people, unable to handle their loneliness, come together. They both put a blindfold on their eyes and try to support each other.

The five Pandavas were together all through their lives. Yet none of them could dispel Arjuna's doubts. Yudhistira was so intelligent that he could answer all the Yaksha's questions and save his brothers' lives. However, knowledge has nothing to do with the realisation. So many of us would have learnt the Bhagavad Gita by heart, or at least read it many times. But that does not mean that they have understood and realised what's written there.

It is only when somebody dares to be lonely that they get an opportunity to inquire into reality. If we are just surfing on the waves, we will never have the opportunity to dive deep into the ocean. Only when one dares to stay silent in the ocean, he gets opportunity to dive down. When one dives into the ocean, one sees life very differently from those who are busy surfing the waves. It's very difficult for the surfers and divers to have a meeting ground. At best, both can respect each other and decide to give each other space. Divers lose interest in surfing, and the surfers keep surfing on one wave after the other. If a diver forms a relationship with a surfer, will he give up his dream of diving for the sake of the relationship, the way Gandari blindfolded herself? I don't think that suffocation is helpful for anybody. He can try to explain what lies inside the ocean, and if the surfer develops interest, he may explore coming together. Otherwise, they will have to realise their respective purposes. Gandhari could have told Dhritrastra the difference between dharma and adharma had she kept her eyes open. If one partner is hell-bent on living a life full of escapes, it makes no sense for the other to put a blindfold on his eyes. In fact, the explorations of the diver are bound to help the surfer sooner or later. But the diver has to dare to live alone. 

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