Fairness is a very abstract concept. A lady has some leftover sweets in the kitchen that her own kids have refused to eat. She offers them to a maid, who eats the sweets and becomes happy. The lady knows that her own kids would never eat such sweets. Is it fair on the part of that lady? A rich country is not finding space to dump the e-waste. It ships containers filled with e-waste to a poor country, where the country takes it to extract precious metals. The rich country knows very well that e-waste is harmful to the environment, and that's why it sends the containers to the poor country. Is it fair on the part of the rich country?
Fairness is very relative. Was Krishna fair when he asked Bhima to hit Duryodhana on the thigh against the rules of the game? Was Krishna fair when he asked Arjuna to hit an arrow at Karna when his chariot broke down? Was it fair on the part of the Kauravas to insult Draupadi? Was it fair on the part of Draupadi to insult Duryodhana while Duryodhana was invited as a guest and to make fun of the blindness of his father? Was it fair for Buddha to leave his family? Was it fair of Yashoda not to move on the spiritual path, moving step by step with Gautama? Is it fair on the part of a husband not to share his life with his life partner? Is it fair for the wife not to grow and thereby render herself incapable of having a meaningful discussion with her husband? Is it fair for children and grandchildren not to spend time with their parents? Is it fair for parents to remain confined to their orthodox framework of life and unable to keep pace with the realities of modern times, rendering discussions with Generation Z and Alpha meaningless? Is it fair for a friend to pass quick judgments while his friend opens his heart out with nothing to hide? Is it fair for a friend to take such judgments to his heart?
There is no end to this discussion. This discussion may go on indefinitely, and all of us would have very different opinions; in fact, the opinions of both sides would have their own merits and demerits. Can we ever reach a conclusion? No. Never. Yet, I feel that all of us would agree that what matters is the locus. What is in the heart. If the lady handing over that piece of sweet has love in her heart, it will not matter whether that sweet is old or new. If that lady has a class divide in her mind and wants to oblige the maid by handing over that piece of sweet, it will hurt the maid.
Our reactions are quite complex. Generally, there is a mix of emotions. Insecurity is the greatest enemy of love. An insecure person becomes incapable of loving himself, let alone others. In fact, the other way round is that insecurities fill our hearts only when we forget to love. To be able to love, a person has to be aware of what comprises the self. Once somebody is aware, fears will drop. We may do thousands of courses and camps, but unless we learn to love, we will just keep running after one or the other mental projection. Yoga is all about living with that "awareness". It is not about running away from the world. Love brings compassion. One develops compassion for others. Not to judge them or to criticise them because they are not pure. Rather, love makes one help others drop those impurities. Yes, we will not be able to help everybody. Even Krishna could not help Duryodhana. Scolding a child does not mean that we are running out of compassion. However, the heart can easily feel which scolding is driven by "ego" and which one is driven by "love".
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