Do we see widespread violence in the name of love? People say that they love, but actually, they want to possess. Parents want to raise their children to earn a medal for having brought them up well. If children deviate from the path that their parents have carved out for them, parents feel threatened. If the children do not marry within the caste or religion that their parents want them to marry, they feel threatened. Parents will do all this violence in the name of the welfare of their children.
Different types of violence exist in different relations. Once you get married, the centre of existence has to shift to family. Your aspirations and ambitions do not matter. While an industrialist toils day and night, his family often complains that he has no time to take them on vacations or spend time with them. I have experienced this phenomenon firsthand while meeting some of these families during raids conducted by my Department. All the people who have excelled in any field in this world have to undergo this silent violence.
Why? Because the society is mediocre. It has little respect for the drive for excellence. I have noticed this phenomenon right from the schools. When somebody tries to study hard, many friends in school and college would tease them for being different. They would bully him for being boring and dull. They would make all kinds of comments and take all kinds of efforts to make him feel he was wrong. It's a herd mentality. The herd survives on a very weak foundation of "group delusion". The foundation is shaken when the group sees somebody behaving differently. The society has a "mass delirium" that the purpose of life is to get more and more pleasure and to accumulate the resources to do so. That's why almost everybody is busy running the race. Get a better package, accumulate more properties, and get a good college for the children so that they can also earn more. The moment somebody like Siddhartha gives away all these "pleasures", the "mass delirium" is shaken, and many people find it quite challenging to accept the new reality. They feel threatened, and out of their insecurity and to defend themselves, they start blaming and accusing people like Buddha. The fact of the matter is that Buddha is not threatening them. Buddha is just telling the truth to everybody for the benefit of everybody, but these people are so obsessed with their notion of life that they feel challenged.
A child suffering from pain due to pus formation cries, and his parents take him to the doctor. The doctor performs surgery to remove the pus from the wound. It pains, and the child cries a lot and sometimes becomes aggresive and the parents have to hold his hands tightly to allow the doctor to carry out the surgery. When we get used to the "mass delirium" of mediocrity, we, too, react violently when someone tries to shake us up. It all depends on what we hold on to. If the foundation of our lives is that "mass delirium", we will definitely feel threatened whenever anybody tries to wake us up. The occurrence of violence in such situations is quite natural. Many parents discard their children when they marry against their wishes. Divorces are quite common when one spouse refuses to be a tool to get what the other wants. Where is love in relations? Most relationships are just another tool to get what we want in life. Love is founded in oneness. When we feel united with another person, we share their aspirations. We try to help him in the process. It is because the centre of life changes from "delirium" to "reality". As we grow up, we realise that surgery to take the pus out is necessary to live a healthy life and coming out of the "mass delirium" is necessary to live a meaningful life. There is no violence in love. Love is always founded on freedom and oneness.
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