One of the most prominent problems of the present-day world, which almost every parent is facing, is "addiction". The world is full of addictions. The sugary foods are so easily available, mobile phones loaded with internet are in the hands of young kids, where the YouTube shots and video games are waiting to quickly grab their attention. So many different types of goods are available on Blinkit and Amazon. Almost every food item is available at the door within half an hour of order. Almost everybody has a Genie in their hands whom they can order to bring anything. PayTm and UPI make life all the easier. No need to remember even the user id and the password.
In this world, how is it possible to not fall for temptations? Why would somebody eat healthy food when spicy fast food is available just with a swipe or click? Why would somebody read books that are difficult to read when there are so many videos available on YouTube? Why would the students work hard to find the solutions when the solutions are so easily available on ChatGPT? ChatGPT can do the homework and the assignments nicely, and therefore, why would the children work hard? Why would the children play around with the children outdoor when there are so many virtual games available on the little magic handset in their hands?
There is no doubt that when the instincts are so easy to please, it is all the more difficult to avoid temptations. However, it is also a fact that despite all this, there are many students who can focus and work hard on their mission. Not so that competition in civil services has reduced, or you get admission in the Ivy League. That means many children are still focused. What makes these children avoid the temptations? I have found broadly two fundamental reasons for the same. First, most children delay gratification. They tell themselves that they will have all the fun and enjoy the pleasure after achieving targets. They focus their attention on their targets, and that helps them get over the temptations. For example, the powers and respect associated with the civil services help many children toil day and night in the narrow streets of Rajendra Nagar, Jia Sarai, and Mukherjee Nagar. They can defer many pleasures that their peers and friends enjoy day and night.
The second reason is that some children find their passion. Some children feel very passionate about literature and art and turn out to be good artists. A few start liking mathematics and become good mathematicians. Some like sports, some music, while some like science. Since they discover their area of interest, they find joy in following their interests, and since their interests give them joy, they feel fulfilled and do not get tempted by the instant gratification. However, such children are few and far between. Why? Because the parents, in most cases, from very early childhood, set targets for them. What they could not accomplish, they set those targets for their children. Parents constantly feed the significance of the package in the minds of their children. Parents constantly tell their children that they will be utter failures if they do not pass a competitive examination. The poor, unexposed minds of the children have no option other than believing their parents. Such children, under pressure, set a target for themselves. Some of them have a strong mind and delay gratification and become successful, while most of them fall into the trap of instant gratification. Even those who can delay gratification become dull and dumb the moment they achieve their target. I have seen many such civil servants who did extraordinarily well in their academics. However, the moment they qualify, the sole focus of their lives is to enjoy the pleasures of life, as if they were deprived of those pleasures for the whole of their lives.
Delayed gratification may be a good strategy for many. However, it can't work in the long run. Whatever story we tell our mind, delayed gratification creates a lot of stress. Unless there is a make-or-break condition, it is very difficult to sustain the inner pressure, and most such children will give up over time. What works for sure against the instinctive pleasure is 'developing a taste of joy'. If children taste the joy of playing outdoor games, playing musical instruments, reading good books, and having meaningful dialogues, the joy of solving difficult problems, the fun of intellectual stimulation, and the joy of contemplating on the problems that are larger than life, I am sure that every time they indulge in some instant gratification, they are going to remember that "joy" and the fun of instsnat gratification can't keep them engaged for long. Developing a taste for the joy of something meaningful is the key, and that's where parents can play a very important role. They can discuss on life with their kids, ask questions about the universe, the origin of life, the nature of death and so on. They can read good books in their presence and discuss the contents with the children. They can help them experience the thrill of exploration on a trek or an unplanned trip. They can discuss relationships and crises in the world with their children. They can just be present with the children, observe and ask why at an appropriate moment. There are so many ways and means where parents can help children have that first taste of joy, and the more children develop the taste of joy, the more they will be able to resist the trap of instant gratification and addictive clickbait. Once they see the best, they will not settle for less than that.
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