It's difficult to change. We identify very quickly. Suppose the parents of a newborn child die in an accident, and the child gets a home and guardians to take care of him; he develops the same kind of attachment to the guardians. We identify very quickly with the nation in which we are born. We identify with our name. We identify with the community we live in, the town, and the organisation we work in.
At the quantum level, electrons behave like waves unless observed. They start behaving like particles when they are observed. Do we, too, get fixated on these identities when we are observed? I have experienced many discussions at our Sunday Dialogue in the J Krishnamurti Foundation, many discussions with close friends, and many sessions with the children on mindfulness, when those fixed identities disappear. None of us feels confined to these fixed ego-boundaries. Probably because there is nobody to judge. Everyone has the comfort in these dialogues, discussions, and sessions that nobody is being judged, and therefore everybody is free to narrate and explain whatever comes to his or her mind. I don't know whether this has any correlation with the state of the electron that is not being observed, and therefore, it is free to behave like a wave, full of infinite possibilities.
Why does the same electron behave like a particle and a wave, with and without observation? Why do we become tight when we feel like being judged and loosen up when not being judged? It appears to me that each one of us has solid, liquid, and gas components in our personalities. The solid component comprises our fixed identities broadly comprising "what we have". The liquid component comprises the 'possibilities we are creating'. The projects we are working on, the educational courses we are pursuing, the relationships we are working on, and so on. This part is fluid. These are the possibilities in the domain of the known; we keep working constantly. The gaseous component of our personality is the 'possibilities in the domain of the unknown'.
Looking at this neurologically, when we feel threatened, our brain stem and emotional mind become very active, and they take the driving seat. They just start using the neo-cortex, which is the seat of rationality, just to make quick computations and calculations to help them work efficiently, as if the solid component of our personality is in command. On the other hand, when we are comparatively relaxed, our rational mind takes over and makes many decisions for the long-term benefits. It works on many possibilities in the domain of the known, as if the liquid component of our personality is in command. Similarly, in a meditative state and in leisure, the brain connects to the domain of the unknown and many more possibilities that never occurred to us unfold before our eyes, as if the gaseous component of our personality is in command.
We feel threatened when we are judged, and that's why in those moments, we identify very strongly with the solid component of our personality. That's why we become tight. We react, and that's why in these moments, our creativity is at its lowest. We behave like a particle. We have a head on collusion when we enter into debates of this kind. On the other hand, we have many meetings and discussions that share a common purpose. In those moments, we try to find our workable solutions. We set a common target, and the rational brain takes command and tries to manoeuvre like a river trying to find its path. In this state, many people meet with the liquid component of their personality at the front foot. When two or more people meet in a state of leisure, with complete awareness, they create magic. They exchange notes like the winds coming from different places. Nothing seems solid. There is no "I" or "you". There is no "my idea" or "your idea". Everything is like on the fly, and whatever comes to different minds seems to be the movement of the same oneness. In those moments, new ideas are born, and creativity is at its peak. We, too, create many possibilities just like the waves. Our personalities become like solid, fluid, or wavy, depending upon the total of life experiences we choose to live.
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