Are we competent to love? It seems a very strange statement in the first instance. Do we need any competence to love? Love seems so natural. But the strange thing is that most of us do not love even ourselves. Do we? What do we love? Our self-image, our beliefs, body, and ambitions. "I" am good, and the others should appreciate me for being good. "I" believe in a particular thought or religion, and consider myself to be a sum-total of these thoughts and beliefs. "I" and my body, and therefore want to protect the body and become anxious whenever there is a threat to the body or a disease that does not get cured. "I" also become happy when this body feels instinctive pleasure, such as after eating tasty food, doing shopping, travelling to a place "I" like. "I" am my ambitions and work hard to achieve my targets.
What is love, on the other hand? Love is a complete merger. When there is no difference between "I" and "you". Is that merger possible when "I" and "You" both have a very strong sense of "I" or "Misplaced I (MI)"? Can this MI merge with even the true self? Can this MI ever love its true self? We have never ever examined "who am I?" We just start believing in a concept of "I" in terms of identification with the body, beliefs, self-image, ambitions, and possessions. Since childhood, our parents, society and the surroundings, nowadays, especially the social media, build a narrative about MI. We are neither ready nor competent to examine the narrative. We fall into the trap and mistake MI to be real self. We continue with the same for years together, and our identity with MI becomes hardwired. This MI has a very strong defence system, and if anybody tries to challenge MI, we declare war on that person. How is it possible for MI to love its true self, because the moment MI starts to examine its true nature, it will melt. That's why we resist any and every attempt to make us aware of our true selves.
All of us would have seen the movie "Shaitan". When I watched the movie, I could compare the hypnotised girl with MI. The more her father tries to take her out of that Kaala Jaadu, the more fiercely she reacts. She will not mind throwing her brother from the roof or attacking her parents. This is because her "self" is in control of that Tantrik. Isn't the same happening inside us? MI is controlling us, and therefore, we are unable to connect to our true selves. For MI, everything is just a possession. Everybody is just a use case. That is why we undergo emotions of fear, stress, jealousy, hatred, lust, greed, anxiety, insecurity, an inferiority complex, and excitement very frequently. In fact, almost every moment of our lives, we experience some other emotion either to protect MI or promote it.
Love is very different. An incomplete and insecure MI is not competent to love. It can only try to possess. One needs awareness of one's true self to be competent to love. When one is complete within, one is free. He would fight for the freedom of self as well as others. He will explore with a free spirit and encourage everyone around him to do the same. Every human being will have extreme empathy with the little girl who has been hypnotised by the "shaitan" in the movie "Shaitan". Similarly, every free soul will have empathy for the souls trapped in MI and will try to help them find freedom. The hero of the movie can set free all the girls, but not the "shaitan". We take medicines and try to cure the infected organs. But when we develop cancer, a part of the body that is infected by cancer has to be removed surgically else it will infect the rest of the body. So what do we do? We are our own saviour. We just need to start with the question "Who am I?" Self-enquiry is the sure-shot way to the realisation of the self. As MI melts, the true self is visible, which is capable of living with freedom, love, compassion, and exploring infinite possibilities.
Comments