I was just listening to a talk by Sister Shivani. She says that we don't need to choose. Rather, we need to surrender, and the almighty decides for us. That's almost an impossible thing for the control freaks. How can I not choose? My choices have made me what I am. For example, I decided to do CA and write the civil services examination, and that's what defines what I am today professionally. I decided not to drink liquor, and I am proud of the fact that I am a teetotaler. I chose to read thousands of books on Neurology, Philosophy, Psychology, Quantum Physics and Mysticism. I also decided to explore Astrology and practice Vipassana. I decided to take sessions for the children. I chose my friends and people I would like to spend time with. The sum total of all these things is what I am today. How can I give away choices?
Most achievers are control freaks, and it is quite difficult for them to give up their choices. In fact, they have reached to their present position because they have fought to honour their choices against all the odds. They have to give away many temptations and instincts and train their brains to concentrate on the task at hand. Each time they choose a tough task, they have to learn to ignore the call of temptations, the criticism of their family members who would often term them asocial, and the call of their friends for having fun and masti, who would often call them weird. Choices are so tough to make, and in fact, it is so easy to fall into the trap of instincts and an easy lifestyle. Then, why would someone not choose the course of his life?
No doubt, we all make choices. Duryodhana made a choice to get the rulership at any cost, and that's why he decided not to give away even five villages to the Pandavas and decided to fight the battle of Kurukshetra. Karna made a choice to support his friend despite knowing very well that the actions of his friend were not justified. In fact, he fought all through his life to get justice against discrimination based on caste, and he died due to his choice to support injustice. Dhritrastra did not make a choice consciously. However, he made a choice unconsciously to support Duryodhana. Arjuna made a choice to fight against injustice. However, when he entered the battlefield of Kurukshetra, his choice was overpowered by his conditioning, and he became numb. He decided not to fight the battle against his own elders and teachers. He chose not to fight the battle.
The crucial question is whether we choose or not. Rather, the crucial question is where this choice is coming from. The choice of Duryodhana comes from his instincts to rule the world. The choice of Karna comes from hurt. He is hurt deeply due to the insult by society, and when Duryodhana supports him, he feels elated and participates in all the injustices by Duryodhana. His hurt had its origin in his ego, and that's why he can't see the injustice done by Duryodhana. The ego makes us limited. Ego is a sense of separation that makes us feel as if we are different from the rest of the world. That's what happened to Arjuna when he entered the battlefield. Initially, his choice to fight the battle was also driven by the sense of being hurt. The hurt of the ego. Duryodhana is unjust, and we need to take revenge was the motto when he entered the battlefield. However, a part of the same ego is identified with the elders and teachers. They have not done anything wrong to me, and why should I hit arrows at them.
The ego of Arjuna underwent conflicts at the battlefield of Kurukshetra, and in those moments of conflict, he listened to Krishna. Till the ego is sure of itself, it will not listen to anybody. Duryodhana did not listen to Krishna and, in fact, wanted to imprison Him when he went as an ambassador with the proposal of the Pandavas. It is, in fact, strange that the same Krishna, who is recognised as a messenger of wisdom, was denounced and rejected by Duryodhana and so many of his contemporaries. It was when Arjuna had a conflict and also had a trusted friend with him that he could listen to his advice. In our own battle of Kurukshetra, till we are sure of our choices, we will never listen to the advice of Krishna. We will behave like Duryodhana. It is only when we have conflicts in our lives that we listen to Krishna. Arjuna too did not listen to Krishna till he had such a conflict. Even that, the other Pandavas too never listened to Krishna, and that's why they did not get to hear the Bhagwat Geeta. Dhritarashtra, even after hearing the Geeta through Sanjay, rejected Krishna. That's why developing that relationship of complete trust is the key. Arjuna had that relationship with Krishna, and that's why he could change his choices under the guidance of Krishna and could switch to a larger frame of life. Do we have such a friend whom we trust like Krishna, and more importantly, is that friend capable of assuming the role of Krishna in moments of crisis?
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