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Are we fixated on our thoughts?

Today, I had a profound discussion with a friend.  When we talk of change, what is it that is changing? When we say "I want to change", how can I change myself? If I am some total of my thoughts, is it that part of me is trying to change the other part? How will the first part be sure that the other part is wrong and needs to be changed? It may, on the other hand, be the other way around. The reality may be that the first part is wrong and the second is right.

Thus, whenever there is an urge to change, the first question that should come to our mind is who wants to change whom? If a part of the mind is trying to change the other part, I am not very sure whether there is a willingness to change or if it is just a trick of the ego. The ego may be trying to gain social approval, become more acceptable to others, or make oneself more comfortable.

On the other hand, the drive to change may also emanate from very different sources. It may come from a witness state where I am different from the sum total of thoughts I have gathered so far. Having examined these thoughts, I realise they represent just one possibility among many. It’s just like one planet in a universe, which is full of billions of galaxies, and each of these galaxies has billions of stars, and each of these stars has many planets.

Can we imagine having thousands of Lego blocks with us? Suppose the designer created 5 distinct possibilities from these thousand blocks. He printed these possibilities on 5 sheets and handed out one sheet to each of 5 people. Each person is to make the structure shown on the printout. These five people make five different structures, and each believes they have made the best one. Each one of them argues with the others that its structure is the best. They may fight day and night and will not reach any conclusion.

The fact of the matter is that the designer of Lego blocks created five structures in his mind and all five possibilities that can be created out of Lego blocks, and none of them is either superior or inferior. There may be thousands of other possibilities created from those blocks that the designer is unaware of. Suppose one of the participants creates a new possibility. The designer will also gain more insight into that. But the problem is that unless we are willing to demolish the structure we have already created, we will not be able to create a new possibility from those blocks. That is why destruction plays a very important role in creation, and that is why Lord Siva has been given the responsibility to destroy. New creation can take place only after destruction. 

The question we need to ask ourselves is whether we are ready to destroy the "ego" so that new possibilities can emerge. It’s not easy because we are very fond of the structure we have already created in our minds. We react very violently whenever somebody points out any fault in the structure of our thoughts because we are so fond of them. In childhood, it is still easier because the sense of self has not become that strong, and we are ready to change ourselves. We do feel the need to know new things, and we are ready to change ourselves with new information and experiences. However, as we grow into adulthood, we become more and more sure of ourselves, and it becomes quite difficult to dismantle the Lego structure we have built in our minds to allow new possibilities to emerge. However, the Lego blocks are just blocks, and we can create infinite possibilities with them. We just have to free the blocks from the structure we have already built. The more we are fixated on those structures, the less space there is for new creation.

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