Thousands of books have been written about love, and yet it is such a grossly misunderstood phenomenon. The phrase "I love you" is so common. People often use and misuse the same. Can "I" ever love "you"? "I" can love "you" when either "I" drops or "you" drops completely. Then only, there can be a merger of "I" and "you". Now, if "you" drops completely, that's like the merger of a small country into a bigger one. The small country loses its identity and gets the protection of the bigger country. Can we say that the bigger country loves the smaller one? Can we say that China loved Tibet and that's why it merged Tibbat with itself? Definitely no.
On the contrary, "I" and "you" can merge when "I" merges with "you". Then again, it will mean the same thing. "I" will lose its identity. So, if love is a merger, that merger would mean the end of "separate identity" or "uniqueness" of at least one. If that uniqueness of one person is gone, where is the question of "I love you"? Because either "I" or "you" is not there. Then, what is the meaning of love? Is the concept just a utopia?
When two atoms of Hydrogen and one of oxygen come together, they form H2O or water. While oxygen and hydrogen are gases, water is a liquid. The atoms of hydrogen and oxygen give away their separate identities to form a new identity called "water" to give life to billions of creatures on the mother Earth. Not so that their individual identities are gone forever. In fact, the present-day science is actively working on water-driven vehicles wherein water will be converted back into hydrogen and oxygen, and hydrogen will be used as a fuel. Their separate identities remain, but they come together for a purpose.
People come together in a relationship called marriage. They have kids and take care of them. The initial 15-20 years are spent in procreation and bringing up kids. There is a very strong biological purpose. After that, many marriages lose a sense of purpose. For a relationship to continue, there has to be a common purpose. One partner may like to possess the other, and say "I love you" a hundred times a day, that's just like China loving Tibet. I love you, and therefore, you should behave the way I like you to. That's not love. The purpose has to be common to all the people in a relationship. One of the most revered relationships in the present-day world is the relationship between the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. Both were so strongly united with a purpose. Both of them have written many books. Their writing style is so different, and yet their purpose is so common. Their ways of telling the truth may be different, but both have immense respect for each other, and both understand what the other says, and both can explain the words of others to the world. It is a common purpose that unites them.
A common purpose may be very shallow or deep. There is a relationship between the Rapido biker and us that ends with the end of the trip, and probably we never meet again. There is a relationship with our schoolmates also, which mostly ends with the school. However, some of the relationships persist because they run deeper. We have a common purpose in life. We share the philosophy of life, and that's why we like talking to each other. That sharing is love. Sharing is not possible unless we have something common. Sometimes friendships continue to share past experiences. Whenever the friends meet, they like to discuss the "good old school days". However, with a few friends, we feel free to discuss our present-day lives also because we have a common understanding of life. We know that the friend will understand our perspective. With a very few people, we share the purpose of life, and we like to create new possibilities together. That requires a very high level of alignment because when we want to create something new, it has to go through rough weather numerous times. It is only that "strong conviction" in the purpose that gives them energy to face the rough weather. It can happen when both "I" and "you" realise that "I" and "you" are just creations of the past, and all the possibilities exist in the future for them to redefine themselves and co-create in this amazing world. Co-creation is the highest purpose that gives immense strength to a relationship in this world.
Comments