It's almost impossible to explore the domain of the unknown while retaining the security in the domain of the known. That's why we become quite uncomfortable when we make decisions such as changing a job or breaking free of relationships and challenging the social conventions and belief systems. That old job, relationship, or belief gives us security. The "I" within us feels secure. It feels certain about life. "I" will go to the same office and have the same powers and functions to perform. "I" will have the same relationships to bank upon in the moments of crisis. "I" will go to heaven when "I" die, if "I" follow the rituals. "I" will get the result of my "good karmas" back.
It's difficult to leave what we have without being sure of what we are going to have. That's why exploration is quite difficult. "I" is too insecure. It craves instant reward. Instant pleasure by earning or spending money, instant validation in a relationship, appreciation, security that may come from a belief, and instant answers to all the questions of life. An apple in hand is far better than many on the tree. Why is this "I" so insecure? Because "I" is not aware. Aware of what it truly is.
I feel that no person in this world can ever tell us what "I" am unless we ourselves turn inwards and try to find out. But the moment we turn inwards, "I" rings a fire alarm that there is a crisis. We feel that we are missing something in the world that "I" has made over the years. The more we travel inside, the more strongly we feel that crisis. The world of "I" we have built over the years seems to be collapsing. That's what happened to Arjuna. He says that if I fight my teachers and family members, whatever good deeds "I" have gathered over the years will vanish. He feels that there is a real crisis in his life. Krishna tells him that whatever Arjuna has gathered over his lifetime does not matter, and what matters is the present moment.
Arjuna could have trusted in Krishna and could have fought the battle of Kurukshetra. Why don't we have the same trust in life? Is it because we do not have Krishna with us? Or is it because we do not want to see Krishna as Krishna? Duryodhana, Karna, and Bhishma also had Krishna, but they rejected him. Why? Because their ignorance-driven desires were so strong that they rejected reality. In the moments of greed, we fail to see the truth. In the moments of anger, our minds lose balance. That's the nature of our emotional mind. It overpowers the reason. Can we be a witness to this movement of the emotional mind? Can we realise that we are not this emotional mind? Will this emotional mind release its grip over our existence? We can't feed it all the moments in our lives and then expect it to weaken. Reactions make the emotional mind stronger, and witnessing the same weakens it. Can we observe ourselves? Observation, not analysis. Analysis is always "I" centric and will not yield any result. Observation is without assigning any meaning, without sitting in judgement. If we can do that, we will see reality from a very different perspective. Reality is very different while sitting inside our flat, and when we move out of that. It is all the more different when we see it from the window of a flight. It changes quite significantly when we look at the Earth from a space station, and it would be very different when we look at the Earth from another solar system. Nothing changes on the Earth, but what changes is our concept of "I".
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