There is a strange phenomenon that we can observe all around us. People keep their homes clean while dumping their garbage on the street. People will keep their cars clean while throwing the wrappers of chocolates and chips on the road. Why does it happen so? Simply because while we identify with our cars and home, we do not identify with our streets and common places. That’s why so many people deface the archaeologically significant monuments and damage public properties. We would often see people carving the name of their “beloved” on the seats of government buses. People will draw “beautiful paintings” with their spits of paan and gutka.
On the other hand, when it comes to mental cleanliness, it is quite the reverse. We will try to demonstrate tranquillity and calmness during our public interactions. Actually, our minds would be full of so many disturbing thoughts. The stress of the office work, worry about the future of the kids, tension about payment of monthly instalments of the loans we have taken, crisis in relationships, and that feeling of being used. These are some of the thoughts that keep our minds occupied. Thousands of such thoughts are our constant companions, and there is not even a moment when our minds are at peace and silent. Thus, our mind is constantly polluted, while we try to project as if we are quite at peace. Why so? Again, the answer is very simple. We love our “social image” more than “ourselves”. That’s why we turn our own minds into dustbins and keep our social image clean.
Is there anything common between these two phenomena? Yes. Of course. It’s all about what we identify with. Identification, in turn, depends upon our awareness. When we wear the earphones and play the music at a high volume, it is difficult to hear the conversations of the people moving by. Similarly, when we are dancing to the DJ, it’s difficult to listen to the chirping of the birds. Similarly, this world is so full of noise. Since childhood, we have lived in a noisy world. Each conversation with our society is quite imposing. Each conversation is so full of divisions between good and bad, right and wrong. Sharma ji’s son has got a package of 20 lakh. This is being discussed in the family, with parents broadcasting the news to grandparents and also expressing their concern about the selection of their son or daughter in the IIT. How will the child feel? Obviously, he will feel like a failure if he doesn’t get into the IITs, where he can get a better package. He will create a very strong identity with his college and package because that’s being discussed so loudly in society, and while these discussions are taking place, he is not aware of the “silent voices” of the “inner being”.
Pinki is so good. She took care of her brother when he was sick. She makes very good tea. She also knows how to cook food. She can also dance. She is fair and looks so pretty. How will a girl who is listening to this discussion feel if she has prioritised her studies over learning cooking? What if she is not fair? What if she is not pretty looking? That’s where the children form very strong identities with their “body images”, and shadows of these complexes do not leave the children even after they grow as adults. Either they live with a sense of inferiority complex about their body image or a superiority complex. A very strong identity is formed around their body image, and if that conforms to the social standards, they feel superior and otherwise inferior.
The whole of society is full of loudness. Newspapers are full of advertisements looking for the brides and grooms with fair colour and a height of 6 feet. Page 3 is full of parties where people are spending millions just to throw parties. There is a vulgar demonstration of wealth and power everywhere. Nobody ever tells the child to observe the inner world. Nobody ever tells them about the hollowness of all the people with model-like bodies, people having exorbitant wealth and people enjoying unparalleled powers. Why would a hollow person demonstrate his hollowness publicly? He would try to preserve his social image of being an achiever. In such an inauthentic world, how will children discriminate between desirable and undesirable? They will naturally be tempted towards something that gives instant pleasure.
Suppose children are not exposed to an “inner journey” during their school days. In that case, they are likely to build very strong identities around their status, wealth, college, rank, body image, home, cars, degrees, social image, and social media presence. The more they identify with any of these, the harder it becomes for them to connect with their “inner self”. A disconnected person will always feel hollow. Inner disconnection combined with achievements in the outer world creates a dangerous mix. Society may praise us for being what they see, but inside, we often feel hollow. We pretend to be at peace while bleeding inside. We can’t even open up to anyone, and our entire life becomes a burden. Do we want such a life for our children? Absolutely not. Therefore, we must teach them, from a young age, to connect with their inner self. Not by relying on any Baba or scripture, but by observing what happens inside, acknowledging it, and questioning social narratives and our own mental stories. Children should never settle for anything less than the truth.
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