All of us are conditioned by the society in which we are born. Whatever we learn since childhood becomes our own thought process. When we go to the temple or church, or mosque, we do not say that my religion has told me to believe in God; rather, we say that "I" believe in God. Whatever food we have tasted since childhood becomes our taste. We do not say that my society or parents have developed my taste buds like that; rather, we say that "I" like such and such food. We own up to the rights and wrongs taught by our society. If my society told me that non-vegetarian food is not good, I would say that "I" don't like non-vegetarian food. "I".
What is "I" devoid of all these influences? Probably "nothing" or "everything". What is Canvas devoid of painting? Probably nothing since there is no painting and it's blank. Or full of every possibility. What is "I" devoid of all this conditioning? Probably nothing because there is no belief or thought process. Or universal consciousness, full of all the possibilities. But how will a conditioned mind see its own reality? How will the yes see themselves? A conditioned mind is busy looking at the world outside, analysing the sensory inputs, making sense thereof, sensing the threats to its survival, reacting to such threats, running from one escape to the other in the form of pleasures. It never looks inside.
Eyes can't look themselves. We need to look in the mirror to see our eyes. Similarly, introspection is the mirror of "I". When we introspect on our actions and thought process, we become aware of this "I" clearly. However, introspection is very tricky. It can easily be converted into a process that leads to the reaffirmation and strengthening of the conditioned "I". "I" may think again and again of some incident and keep holding somebody responsible for my misery. The more I" think about pain, the more I feel the same. Why? Because when "I" say that I am miserable or my life is painful, "I" have already divided everything into good and bad, pain and plasure. "I" am not open to review whether that division has a sound basis. "I" think about it again and again. The sense of being miserable increases exponentially.
"Looking inside" is quite different. It happens when "I" am ready to challenge every conditioning. When "I" feel miserable and then introspect not only to find out the cause of the misery or solution to come out of the same, rather to analyse why I feel miserable. Loss of a relationship or wealth makes me miserable. "I" introspect as to why "I" am affected by that loss. Who am I? Why do I feel miserable with the loss of that relationship? Is it because "I" have created many mental stories around that relationship and now, when that relationship is gone, "I" am miserable due to the same very stories that "I' created to make myself happy. "I" see clearly that all the moments wherein "I" derive artificial happiness are the breeding ground of future pain and misery. So what do we do? Do we become insensitive like a stone? No. We just need to be aware of the larger frame. When we introspect on who we are, we get to realise the vastness of our existence, and these mental stories drop. Arjuna is not just the younger brother of Duryodhana or a disciple of Drona, or the great-grandchild of Bhishma; rather, he is a warrior fighting for the larger good. He is an extension of Krishna, who is fighting the battle under the guidance of Krishna. We may choose to live with awareness or ignorance. That's our only choice, and the rest is just a fallout of this choice.
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