In the tripartite negotiation of life decisions, three distinct entities participate in the decision-making process. First, an individual’s conditioned mind “I”, second, society “S” and third, the free will “F” of the individual. For example, while deciding on our marriage, “I” may feel like marrying a person who works in the same profession so that our professional life becomes easy to handle. “S” may have other considerations, such as physical appearance, caste, and religion. “F” may want a companion with whom I can share and explore infinite possibilities. All three, “I”, “S” and “F” will try to negotiate. If “I” is very independent and secure, it may outrightly ignore the viewpoint of “S”. On the other hand, if “I’ is insecure and dependent on society for its survival, it may just surrender to the demands of society. Similarly, a dominating “S” may suppress “I” in the negotiation. Similarly, a free and fair society may allow “I” to exercise its choice.
The role of “F” again depends upon our awareness. Some of us are aware of a very limited frame of life, and therefore, “I” and “S” dominate the decision matrix. In that case, “F” will take a back seat. However, as the relationship progresses, there will be moments when “I” and “S” do not have pressing demands, and in those moments, we will be able to listen to the silent voice of “F” and feel a need for companionship. In a world where “I” and “S” are so loud, “F” generally takes a back seat, and we tend to ignore its voice.
What it does to us. When “S” is very strong, and “I” and “F” are comparatively weak, such people comply with social norms even at the cost of their individual likes and dislikes. When such people do not dare to speak their mind for a long time, they become a part of the herd. They lose the capacity to apply their mind independently to the situations, and their fear to stand up increases by leaps and bounds. Slowly, society starts exploiting them. When “I” is very strong and “S” and “F” are comparatively weak, such people start dominating society and become exploiters. When “F” is very strong and “I” and “S” are comparatively weak, such people become revolutionaries and bring about revolt in society.
On the surface, “I”, “S” and “F’ appear to be adversaries, but it may not be true. What if they work in harmony? A society that is inspired by values such as love, compassion, freedom, awareness, fairness, and equality would help children learn all these values naturally, and therefore, “I” and “S” will both be in sync with “F”. When "I" is unable to get a taste of freedom, love, and compassion, it settles for selfishness. Any society is the sum total of individuals, and therefore, social consciousness represents the average of individual consciousness. That’s why society as a whole also becomes selfish. On the other hand, an evolved society will inspire individuals to rise above their individual interests. Society doesn’t change in a day. People like Buddha and Mahatma Gandhi will inspire the whole of society to break free of the limited worldview. That’s how every individual has to exercise this fundamental choice. What should be the centre of life? "I", "S", or "F"? When we choose "F" as the centre of life, we will for sure experience fear and insecurity created by the conditioned mind. We will also experience resistance from society for breaking free of the established social norms. That's what Jesus, Socrates, Mahatma, as well as Buddha faced. We may stay comfortable by aligning "I" to "S", or we may choose to grow with "F", in which case, there will be resistance from "I" as well as "S".
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