People are busy shopping in malls, buying expensive products, oblivious to the fact, or deliberately ignoring, that someone outside the mall is dying of hunger. Probably the desperation to be "happy" makes us ignore reality. Emotions are too costly. They hold us back. We cannot afford to have mercy or sympathy for the people we compete with. We also tell our children that the world is competitive, and therefore, they must run the race with full force; otherwise, they will be left behind and unable to win the race.
Did Rama run the race? He was almost on the verge of leaving the palace. It was only after Vashistha and Vishwamitra had a long conversation with him, as documented in the Yog Vashistha, that Rama decided to stay back. Who will he compete with? He realized the true meaning of self. Having realized the meaning of self, there is no question of competition because there is no division. But then why did he kill Ravana? Because the division created by the ego of Ravana was so dense that the entire world was suffering. Ravana did not spare even his own brother Vibhishana. The moment Vibhishana praised Rama, Ravana kicked him out. Ravana did not listen to the sane advice of Mandodari. He did not listen to the wise words of his brother Kumbhakarna. His ego became a black hole, which was ready to gulp down the entire universe. It was the love and compassion of Rama for all the living beings that he had to kill Ravana, and not because he had ill will against Ravana.
The meaning of love is also completely different for Ravana and Rama. Suparnkha tried to force-marry Rama, and that's when Lakshmana cut her nose. Suparnkha liked Rama, and she tried to possess him. That's when Lakshmana had to protect himself and his brother. When Ravana listened to the news, he felt insulted. Why? Because Ravana had an ego of being so strong that even the unjustified demands of his sister couldn't be denied by anybody. It was not his love for Suparnkha but his obsession with his self-image of being strong that he kidnapped Sita. When Rama attacked Lanka, it was not his love for family, but his obsession with self-image, that he forced war on Lanka, which resulted in the killing of so many people.
On the other hand, Rama realized his true self. He realized the hollowness of the ego and therefore developed love and compassion. That's why his love was not limited to a few family members. He helped Sugriva while he was struggling to find the whereabouts of Sita. His love would extend to any person who does not reject the same due to a dense ego. His love would extend to even the brother of the king he had attacked. His love for Hanumana, Vibhishana, and Sugriva is no less than his love for Lakshmana and Bharata.
Can a self-obsessed person ever love? Aren't relations of a self-obsessed person just tools to satiate his desires? When we say that we love our family, what exactly is that love? Is that love like Ravana or Rama? People may say that Ravana loved his family to the extent that he gave away his life to protest against the insult to his sister. But, is that correct? Was he not trying to just protect his self-image and ego? I feel that this difference is very subtle and nuanced. Unless we appreciate this difference, we may remain under illusion, the whole of our lives, that we love our family, while we may actually be just over-obsessed with ourselves. The real test is observation. If our love is confined to a few, we treat ours, and we feel disconnected from the rest, that's more likely a possession rather than love. If we feel threatened when somebody whom we love flies away, there is a greater likelihood of possession in the name of love. The foundation of true love is always laid on Virakti. It's like "Gone with the Wind" rather than a "Suction Pump". It's like a burning star, rather than a black hole.
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