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Toxic Relationships

Human life is not bondage to any relationship, be it whatever relationship. Parents invest a lot of time and energy in bringing up their kids. Naturally, they have concerns for their kids. Whenever they feel that a certain course of action or certain decisions may be harmful to their kids, they advise them. But that does not mean that if the parents fail to grow, the children will not also grow. Children may soon outgrow their parents, and then take their own decisions, some of which may not be acceptable to the parents. In fact, any sort of parents would encourage their kids to live their lives. Parenting is not an investment in kids that they have to repay with interest in the old age of the parents. Parents are the choice made by the parents out of their sweet wish, and once that choice is exercised, the parents take care of the children until they become independent. And that's why it is the duty of the parents to help their children grow independent quickly. 

Coming to the relationship between friends, good friends never impose their ideas and beliefs on their friends. In fact, for a friendship to continue and grow, there is a requirement that both friends give space to each other. There would be certain activities and explorations that they would share, and at the same time, there would be many more explorations that they would not be interested in, and therefore, either they would do it alone or find some other partner with whom they could share such explorations. That in no way affects their friendship. Friendship has a purpose, and the purpose is sharing. Sharing emotions and thoughts. Exclusivity can't be a precondition for friendship. There is something wrong with friendship if there is an expectation of exclusivity, because most often these feelings have deep rooted inferiority complex within them.

Coming to the relationship between husband and wife, I feel that two people come together for different purposes. The most primitive purpose can be to produce children so that the family continues. Some people come together to support each other daily, and also in challenging times. It requires a lot of investment in each other and mutual dependence. That forces them to maintain some sort of exclusivity. The more dependent partner often gets insecure and tries to cling and demand attention from their partner. In some cases, the relationship of marriage may also be based on companionship, where both want to explore together the common areas of interest. They share common interests in life and want to explore them together. The more the relationship of marriage is based on primitive needs and the more such a relationship will demand exclusivity. In such relationships, if the partners grow differently and develop different areas of interest in life, these relationships become quite burdensome. On the other hand, if the relationship of marriage is based on companionship, there is no such demand, and in fact, both enjoy exploring with each other, and that's why they naturally enjoy the company of each other.

Human life is precious. It can't be limited to one relationship. Life is to explore the beautiful universe. We come together with different purposes and grow differently. To a relationship gets the right to prevent the growth of another person. In fact, no good relationship would ever do so. Every good relationship will promote that exploration and growth, even if that is at the cost of separation. Only insecure people who are not sorted internally cling to others and make relationships tools to feel secure. For them, that proximity is more important than the growth of their partner. These relationships are toxic relationships, and people on the path of growth have to break free of these relationships sooner or later. We all make choices. If a person chooses stability over growth, and the other one chooses growth, there is no meeting point, and both have to move to their own path. For the partner who wants to grow, growth is equally or even more important. We can't judge the growth-oriented partner adversely just because they both aimed at stability when they entered into a relationship, or because stability is the norm in society. 

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