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Relationships Aaj Kal: A dialogue between parents and kids

Watched Metro in Dino. A wonderful movie made by the director, and wonderful acting by all the characters. The movie revolves around relationships in metropolitan cities. The movie tries to give a voice to the silent suppression of freedom in marriages. Does marriage mean that the boy and girl will never be free again, and whatever they do, need to be centered around the family? Why should a wife be denied the right to join a college reunion? Why does a girl need to compromise with her career to stay together? The doubts in the minds of the kids as to whether they are straight or not. The trust of the husband and wife in each other. The movie raises a number of issues, and I believe that parents have to guide their kids so that the kids are not confused in a relationship.

The relationships are not prisons. I feel that it is high time that we tell our kids that sacrifice and compromise in the name of marriage will not keep them happy. The facade of a perfect marriage does not take us anywhere, and that inner hollowness brings subtle bitterness to the relationship. We just need to open up about the issues, rather than brushing them aside the carpet. We all need to accept that we are all selfish by nature, and if somebody pretends to have compromised his life for the sake of family, that's a lie he or she is telling himself or herself. Somebody wants social validation, while somebody does not dare to take a stand for themselves. Somebody has no ambition in life, and family is the only trophy he or she has. 

Gone are the days when nobody used to challenge the sanctity of marriage. The very fact that there are so many movies being made around the sanctity of marriage and divorce is quite easily accepted by society, indicating a change in the mindset of society. When two people unite through a relationship, they have to have a common meeting point. They are coming from a different background, have different aspirations and exposure, and therefore it is quite natural that their priorities are different. But, at the same time, they have to make many decisions together. Then, how will these common decisions be taken? I feel that we fail when we take relationships for granted. Just because one fine day, somebody decided to get married does not mean that he is a slave for life. All relationships require constant investment. How much effort do we make to understand the life aspirations of our partner, and how much efforts are made by our partner. That decides the future and depth of the relationship. Two people may have very different life aspirations, but whether the other partner understands them well and makes efforts to facilitate and help makes all the whole lot of difference.

That is the difference between a loving relationship and a selfish relationship. A selfish person says that I need the relationship for one or another reason. Because he is desperate to get it at any cost, he uses the social norms to his defense to keep the relationship going, even if it is quite suffocating for the other partner. Most people do not dare to throw away such a facade and live freely. That's why many marriages are exploitative for either one or both partners. On the other hand, a loving partner understands what his partner aspires to and makes his aspirations a priority. Since there is love in a relationship, when his partner fulfils his dreams and aspirations, the happiness of the partner will pass over, and both will be happy in the process. Healthy relationships are not centered around controlling the partner; rather, they are about being together in each and every venture. When our children are about to enter into relationships, they just need to observe the relationships of their partner vis-à-vis the world. A little observation from a little distance will help them understand the type of person their partner is and will save them from a life crisis. Also, I feel that the kids need to have the courage to come out about a relationship if it does not work and move on. It is one of the foremost duties of parents to make kids aware of the true meaning of relationships so that relationships enrich their lives rather than making it a hell. 

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