Just watched a wonderful movie, "Aap Jaisa Koi" on Netflix. It's a wonderfully directed movie. I would say that the primary theme of the movie is "judgment by society". The hero of the movie judges her beloved for being on an online chatting platform. His brother judges his wife for being in a relationship with another man. A father judges his daughter for not taking an interest in the kitchen. There is constant judgment in society in all relationships. Where is the scope for love amongst all these judgments?
Why do we judge others? Because we are so sure of our belief systems. And why are we so sure of our belief systems? Because we have closed our minds. We do not want to listen to anything new. We don't want to observe anything that contradicts our thought process. That's why we are so rigid. We form a small community of human beings that endorses the same belief system and rejects any new thought process. Anybody who forms part of that community will have to seek permission to try that. We will allow or disallow. That's how we control the lives of others. As if we all are prisoners, and all of us have been assigned to keep a watch on others so that nobody gets out of the jail. As if many birds are caged together and preventing each other from flying.
Does that mean that there shouldn't be any rules and regulations within society? How will society survive? If everybody did what they wanted, there would be no order. If all the kids in the home are allowed to live the way they want, our home will become a dumping ground. We need to put our home to keep it functional. There is no doubt about that. There is no doubt that a certain discipline is required to maintain order. But discipline may also be our tool to ensure control of our home. Why would kids not maintain order? They also need a functional home. Probably, we have never been able to make them understand the problems associated with the disorder. Once they understand, it's their choice whether they want to face the inconvenience of disorder or spend some time maintaining order.
There is no question of "allowing" or "disallowing" somebody about their own life decisions. When love is the basis of relationships, there is no occasion to "allow" or "disallow". When we don't love, we have a fear of losing a relationship. That fear makes us insecure. We somehow want to control. Then comes the question of allowing or disallowing. Then we want to control by allowing certain things and disallowing the others. Parents want to control their kids, and that's why they allow certain career options for them and disallow others. Husband wants to control his wife, and that's why he allows certain things and disallows others. The same applies equally to the wife. The more the kids and spouse try to exercise their free will, the more that "controlling" person becomes insecure and the more aggressively he reacts. There is never any occasion for the control freak to examine his own actions. That's why in the process, the caged bird feels more and more suffocated and one day decides to apply some trick and open the cage and fly away.
Comments