Childhood conditioning is quite deep-rooted. A boy is born into a family where everyday expenses are a struggle, and he looks at his father and mother working tirelessly to support his education. He feels helpless for several years and then sets a target to take care of the family by getting a good degree. Even that degree does not help, and he realizes that society does not give due respect to the parents, and toils day and night to get a position of power. He is coming from a highly exploitative society and has been a victim of exploitation. He has made his position a winning formula. His entire identity is built around those achievements. If these achievements are taken away from him, he would be the same helpless child again. Would such a child ever be able to drop his identification with these achievements and positions? If not, would he be able to understand the nature of reality?
Another boy comes from a broken family. He has not experienced that bonding in the family. Nobody cares for the other people in the family. He feels disconnected from everybody. He can't share his thoughts with his parents. He finds it difficult to believe friends, and then he discovers his winning formula. I have to behave well with everybody. I will become a "good boy," and he invests a lot in that self-image. Helps others in small ways, and he is praised for that. Everybody calls him a good boy, to get some or the other work done, he gets so addicted to that "title" of being good that at times, he helps others while knowing very well that he is being exploited. Slowly, he develops an inability to say "no" to anybody and suffers the whole of his life. Can he ever shed his image of being good? Unless he sheds that self-image, can he ever understand the nature of reality?
Another boy comes from an ordinary family. His parents have never invested their time in understanding the fundamental nature of truth. They participate in the social customs and rituals without ever challenging them. Since childhood, he was never told to examine anything, and whatever little curiosity he had was killed by his parents and society by making fun of him. He makes his beliefs a winning formula. He believes in what society in general believes. The gods, mythology, identity with the culture, and religion. He would not mind criticising those who belong to a different religion, caste, or believe in a different ideology from the one he follows. By strongly identifying with society and its belief system, he feels secure. Will such a child ever be able to shed his strong identification with the belief system that provides him a sense of security and safety? Then, how will he ever be able to experience reality?
But why do we need to experience reality? We are happy in our own world. We have made a certain meaning of life, and we are happy with that. We may put on the virtual reality glasses and watch a video that looks absolutely real. But then one has to take off these glasses when the time is over. Every virtual reality we create, be it power, social validation, or belief system, has an expiry date. Even if we have an option to get those virtual reality glasses fixed on our eyes permanently, would it be the best utilization of life or an absolute waste? But we have got so used to that virtual reality that even a thought of putting the virtual reality glasses aside makes us insecure and fearful. There is no space to look at reality. A fearful child cries with his full force when a doctor tries to touch him to remove the pus that has formed in some part of his body. However, that inner voice from deep inside does not leave us. In the moments of crisis, sorrow, and suffering, when we take off those virtual reality glasses for a minute, that inner call reminds us of reality. Most people brush it aside, even in those moments, and look for another winning formula. However, the wise don't wait for those disasters. They just enquire and observe the reality and take off their virtual reality glasses to live mindfully.
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